Olive Luniir
Olive Luniir
The definition of "not okay".
Mental characteristics
Personal history
She felt like less. All her life, she looked down on herself, just like everyone she knew did. That was love. Love was pain and being hurt was okay. She was okay.
Everything bad that happened was her fault. That's what she'd been taught. She was loved as long as she didn't do anything wrong. Most of the time. This was love, this was normal.
One day, while alone in a hotel room, her parents were out at a party. She remembered hearing an awful crack following an explosion. That was fine, if it wasn't her parents would tell her.
The building fell.
She was left with more than one kind of scar that day, but that was okay. Love is pain. They must have known she'd end up better afterwards.
Everything bad that happened was her fault. That's what she'd been taught. She was loved as long as she didn't do anything wrong. Most of the time. This was love, this was normal.
One day, while alone in a hotel room, her parents were out at a party. She remembered hearing an awful crack following an explosion. That was fine, if it wasn't her parents would tell her.
The building fell.
She was left with more than one kind of scar that day, but that was okay. Love is pain. They must have known she'd end up better afterwards.
Mental Trauma
Morality & Philosophy
Be kind.
She thinks anything bad that happens is her fault, and if something happens to her, it's her own failure and she deserves it.
She thinks anything bad that happens is her fault, and if something happens to her, it's her own failure and she deserves it.
Taboos
her parents
the accident
the accident
Personality Characteristics
Likes & Dislikes
Likes
- nature
- small furry creatures
- calm music
- cake
- fire/bombs/explosions
- (her own) imagination
- sleeping (b/c of her dreams)
- finality
Personality Quirks
often, when she lets her mind wonder, it goes to the dark side. many times, she has experienced death through imagination and dreams. other times, she's imagined others' deaths and suffering. she likes to think that these are not her own thoughts but always, deep down, wonders if this is what she really wants. it pains her.
Hygiene
very clean
Social
Speech
soft and quiet but very clear and direct
Wealth & Financial state
well-off (the Planet generally doesn't believe in currency)
Completely fine.
View Character Profile
Age
23 SA years
Date of Birth
1385 TI
Birthplace
Okiana, Fuirel
Children
Current Residence
the Planet
Gender
she/her
Eyes
green-is-black -- now light gray-ish-white
Hair
dirty blonde -- now white
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
tan -- now papery white
Height
146 cm
Remove these ads. Join the Worldbuilders Guild
give me a name
2:3 !9
I've lost mine.
that's okay I didn't use it much.
I don't really need one, it's fine.
I'm fine.
DON'T LET ME FORGET.
I CAN'T FORGET AGAIN.
I CAN'T.
I-- will
I will
I will
I will
I will
I will
I don't even recognise my name as my own until you call me by it.
I don't even recognise my name as my own until you call me by it.
I seem to have forgotten something.
I'm not sure what.
until you take it from me
2:2 !8
You can take away a lot of things.
My words.
My movement.
My thoughts.
My hopes. My dreams, my wishes, my--
Those I love.
I can't stop you, can I.
I can hold onto small feelings like the faint smell of burnt toast when I'd make my breakfast- - telling me that...
I still exist.
I'm still here.
I remember, even when I'm not sure what I'm remembering.
I feel.
I feel.
If there is nothing to listen to, I have my heartbeat
heart beat
until it stops.
until it stops.
yet.? (3 & 4)
8:8 (8) !7
everything is just… gone… now
left left left left left left
LEFt
LEFT
left me…
he re.?
gone
gone
gone
gone
gone
gone
gone
gONe
GONe
GoNe
gONE
GONE
GONE
EONE
GONE
GONE
G O
n
E
Not here–...
Let me–...
Take–...
I need t.o g o
I
g .o
.
.
Leave with let take– me–
You
wait?formE.?
here–
I
Pumpkin
Pumpkin grow–
garde en
leaves…
leAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. ME?
DON’T LEAVE ME?
Where?
I…
pie
like. no..love.
pu–m pki n. pie?
they're right-
6:4 (8) !6
The voices were right.
It's scary out there... I like it better in here.
It's.. safer in here.
It's safe here.
the voices tell me it's okay
3:32:5 !4
The voices tell me that it's safer in here.
"Don't change," they say, "it's scary, it's dangerous!"
I know it's not safe here, though. I'm just used to it now..
I'm just used to it.
the shoulder dweller
2:27 !3
Lately, I've been seeing things that might be there, hearing, feeling. I've felt something on my shoulder. I'm not sure of his name or face, but he's a "he". He keeps me company. He whispers things I can't hear to me. I try to listen anyway.
He holds me. He is familiar, but distant, like a smell that brings back an ancient memory for just a split-second before the feeling is gone. When I try to imagine him, he is formless. He feels like tiny pressures on my shoulder and on my neck. He sounds like a tingling in my head. He sometimes feels like a snake, sometimes a centipede, sometimes just a presence. He's not always there, I think, but he always comes back if he leaves.
He knows I can't hear him. He knows I can't see him. He knows I want to, try to. He tries to help, I think. He tries to let me hear him. He tries to let me listen to what he has to say. Sometimes, a message gets through. Sometimes, a word, or more of a feeling, will make its way through all the barriers, all the misunderstandings. Sometimes, I can hear him.
I can almost see him.
I can almost hear him.
I can feel him.
all together, as all things should be
5:54:4 !1
All my thoughts want to blend together. I don't know why. Stringing words together is... hard?
You're Fine. It's fine. I'm fine.
4:45 !2
You thought they loved you. You-- I--... You thought they cared, they even thought of you-- about you. You needed them. You needed them. They left you anyway.
Sometimes, they do that. They-- they leave you. You can't blame them, though. Deep down, you know it's your fault they left. You know that-- whatever it was-- you could have fixed it. You are the reason you are in pain. This is all your fault. Even thinking anything else proves it to be true: this is all your fault.
So, you stay quiet. You keep to yourself. You try to do as little harm as possible. How can you? Everything bad that happens is your own fault, and anything else is someone else's doing. You are worthless-- less than that, even. You are---
And then, you're okay. You're used to this self-talk. It's normal, it keeps me sane, it keeps you together-- it--
You're not comfortable... but you don't want anything to change. It's fine. You're-- I'm fine. It's fine.
oh, lovely day
4:6 !5
I seem to have fallen in love!
I see and feel him when I close my eyes. His voice is so deep and beautiful. He is soft and gentle.
All I want to do is become very small and sit in his lap. I want him to hold me.
I was told this was unusual, as I have only been *observed to be* attracted to girls before this point. That's fine. That doesn't take away from anything I feel toward anyone. Love is an infinite thing, there is no limit.
I can't remember the exact date I last felt this way.
It's been... a while, I think.
It's been a while.
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