The Lost Ruins, Chapter 6

It took a little over two hours for the mist to fade away completely. Once it was gone, Nic was the first to drop from his tree and check the area. When he had determined that no trace of the mist remained, the others climbed down from their trees. Elena walked along the remnants of their column. All of their pack animals were dead, still in their harnesses, lying where they had slumped. Worse than that, though, were the bodies of seven expedition members, most of whom had been near the back of the column and thus hadn’t heard the command to climb the trees as quickly as those towards the front. Each of them seemed to have simply fallen asleep where they stood, collapsing into the mud never to wake again. Thinking of it made Elena shudder.   With the deaths of the pack animals, organizing the supplies became problematic. Now the expedition had no way of pulling any of the supply wagons. Once the dead had been buried, the supplies were carefully sorted and what could be carried was loaded into makeshift packs that everyone in the expedition began to carry with them. Anything that they couldn’t carry was carefully hidden away either in buried caches or tied into the upper limbs of the trees. Nic made careful marks on the trees to let him know where the rest of the supplies were when they passed by again after reaching their final destination. Even with all of that, Elena doubted that they would ever find the remainder of their supplies again.   Of course, such a prospect seemed to be nothing compared to the people that she would never see again. Some of those who had died were loyal servants and colleagues that had been on multiple expeditions with her, and she found it hard to believe that they were gone. More than once, she found her mind drifting back to the deadly mist and the unavoidable deaths it had caused.   Just a few seconds sooner, and they might have been saved, she kept thinking. If I had just been a bit faster…   As the group continued through the Walder, the storm finally ended, and the survivors were able to make camp. They spent the night several miles from where they had left the supplies, then set out the next day once more. Elena did not sleep well that night, and found herself in a deep gloom the next day. She made sure to walk briskly at the front of the expedition, the collar of her coat up while she determinedly avoided eye contact with anyone else. Her position allowed her to be easily seen soldiering on, though her manner clearly communicated a desire to be left alone. The others in the expedition got the message, none of them approaching her through the entire third day’s trek through the forest.   Near the end of the day, Elena felt someone walk up beside her from behind, and she turned her head to see who it was. Her irritation lasted only until she saw that it was Marcus. His eyes looked full of concern as he drew up beside her. He fell into step beside her, matching her pace perfectly. He did not say anything, and Elena did not start the conversation herself. If he truly had anything to say, he would get to it before too long. Marcus hated long awkward silences.   Sure enough, it was inside of a minute before he spoke. His voice was quiet enough that Elena knew that no one would be able to hear their conversation without drawing closer. “Ellie, are you alright? Something’s bothering you.”   “I’m fine.” The lie came automatically, if not convincingly.   “You’re not.” The statement was so completely unambiguous that it ripped through Elena’s façade without leaving any space for argument. Marcus knew her too well to let anything bother her without trying to fix it.   “I just want us to get to the ruins.” The words broke out of Elena as a tortured hiss. “I’m tired of losing people.”   Marcus said nothing for the next two dozen steps. Elena snuck a sideways glance at him, using her upturned collar as cover. His brown eyes stared sightlessly forward as he processed what he was going to say next. He often fell into these near-trances when formulating what he believed to be truly important statements. When he did finally speak, his voice carried as much weight as Elena had ever heard from him.   “That’s only part of it, isn’t it? As horrible as it is having lost them, that’s not what’s really worming its way into your heart.”   Elena sighed. He was right, of course. He usually was. Bloody observant nature. “It’s me,” she admitted. “I just can’t stop thinking that there should be something that I could have done to save them.”   “You did everything you could! I saw some of it. You had to leave when you did, or you would have died too.”   “But it’s more than that,” Elena continued, not allowing Marcus’s words to sink in. “If it wasn’t for me choosing to come on this expedition when so many people were trying to warn me off, then they would still be alive.” She bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling tears begin to prickle at the edges of her eyes.    “Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we are all going to die out here. And all of it will be my fault.”   There it was, the root of her ache laid bare. It had been the kind of thing that she hadn’t even fully comprehended herself until she had said it aloud, but now there was no covering it up anymore.   Marcus stared at her with a look of pure shock. “Elena, what are you saying?” he gasped. “How could you even think that for a second? Every single one of us here knew what we were doing. Down to a man, we knew what we were getting ourselves into.”   “Don’t patronize me, Marcus,” Elena snapped.   “I’m not. Everything I just said is true. Take it from the guy who organized everything. I told everyone up front what we were planning to do and what the legends said. Dozens of people refused to come. Those who you see around you now, those are the people who believed in you enough to come along.”   “Now look where their belief in me got them.”   “It gave them a chance to accomplish something new!” Marcus raised his voice just a bit, but not so much that he was shouting to the whole caravan.    “Making history requires taking risks, and everyone here knows it! No one ever discovered a piece of history by sticking to their normal lives. You of all people should know that!”   Elena winced. He was right again, and worse, he was using her own words against her. She often told the nobility back home the same thing.   Marcus continued. “We are all here because we believe that there is at least one person who is just the right combination of crazy and lucky to see something that no one else has ever seen before, and it’s you. That’s why everyone listens to your orders, not mine. It’s your vision that we lean on to get us through this whole ordeal. Everyone here chose to be here. We all believe in you, but none of us were forced to be here by that belief. Don’t ever think that we were.”   Elena walked in silence for the next several minutes. She thought about what Marcus had said. His words filled her with a renewed confidence. The thought of so many people believing in her vision filled her with such a feeling of honor that her knees felt a bit weak. “Everyone here believes in my vision?” she murmured. “Really?”   Marcus shrugged. “Well, that or your money. One or the other.”   Now Elena laughed. Marcus’s speech and his new joke had somehow succeeded in lifting her out of the black pit that yawned under her in her mind. She felt lighter than she had since leaving Kummerholt. She came to a halt, allowing Marcus to stop beside her. Once he had, she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek.   “Thanks, Marcus,” she said. “I’m so glad that I have you around to remind me of things like this.”   He waved the compliment aside. “It’s nothing, really. I have to do something to help my best friend occasionally.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t need to beat yourself up over this, okay? We’re all in this together, and we have been from the start.”   Elena folded her collar back down, no longer feeling like she needed the subtle barrier between her and the others. “I need the reminders, so thank you again.”   Marcus smiled at her. “Good. If you need to talk some more, let me know, okay? I’m here for you.”   She nodded. “I will. Right now, though, I think it will be enough if we just keep walking. Sound good?”   “I’m with you till the very end.”   The two of them started walking again, and Elena felt her spirits continue to rise. With Marcus there by her side, the journey no longer seemed quite so difficult. And if what he said was really true, then she could draw strength from the others around her as well. She turned her head to look around. When she saw the smiles that the nearest members of the expedition sent her way, she decided that she could truly believe Marcus.   And that was enough for the moment.