1152, 15th of the Tiger

I had been dreading this festival all week. I couldn't eat all day because my stomach was in knots. And at first, it was as bad as I thought it would be - worse even. I fear I will never learn to socialize with the samurai the way I'm supposed to. Perhaps I am simply not meant to, perhaps it is simply my curse to bear. I thought I was going to have to leave early, but then by a stroke of luck, I ran into Ikoma Kenji. I never would've expected to find an ally in the Lion - dare I call him a friend? He's not like my other patients I'm watching. He seems undaunted by the reality of his situation. How can he laugh and eat and enjoy his life when he's so deeply touched by the taint? How, when he is consumed by such darkness, can he be a source of light? And yet he is, against all odds. And tonight, he was my rescuer when he invited me to join him. I was, in the end, actually able to enjoy some elements of the evening, particularly the display from the Guardians of the Garden. Their feats were truly awe-inspiring. And it was a pleasure to get Hida Ryoma's insights into the various players at court. Gods know I can't keep track of them all, myself. It was a bit disappointing to have so many bow out of the duels, I was particularly keen on seeing Yoritomo fight. Perhaps I will ask him for a demonstration at another time.