Seralisa's Visit

Not much happened yesterday, or at least nothing that didn't happen the day before. The sheep are quite predictable, which does give this job a bit of a monotonous tone. I can understand more easily now why everyone preparing me for it often spoke of it with a sense of near-dread. It's not that bad yet--and despite the slowness, I doubt it will--but I can understand. That in itself is good, as a large part of this tradition is to help us better relate to the lives of our people. I feel I have already made progress in this area, even more than I expected.
But I digress. I'm writing this evening because something did happen today. At about third setting, I was taking a short nap in the cottage when Jassen (I've named the dog, by the way: "companion" seems a fitting name for him) began to bark. At first I thought he was just putting the sheep back in their place, but it kept up, only growing in intensity. I finally realized that something was wrong, and I got up to see what was happening.
I assumed it would be Quill coming on his first visit, bringing news from my father. I stepped out, looking up to see if I could spot Quill coming in for a descent.
Then a squeak caught my attention, and I dropped my gaze to a normal level. I was quite taken aback to see, not the stately griffin preening his feathers and glaring indignantly at Jassen, but Seralisa backed against the wagon that had brought her here, cloak wrapped tightly around herself and frightened eyes fixed on Jassen, who was stretched to his full length in front of her with his teeth bared.
I quickly took stock of the situation and called Jassen off. He didn't respond immediately, but after the third command, he backed away and came to my side, though a low growl was still rumbling in his throat.
I now had the freedom to pay attention to Seralisa. I was still astonished to see my betrothed here. Such a rustic location is the last place I would have expected her to be. Her expression seemed to point to a similar feeling as she peeled away from the wagon. I realized then that there was no driver, which meant she must have driven herself. That in itself is impressive, I must say.
Seralisa came towards me, keeping well clear of Jassen. She smiled then, and I returned it, hoping she wouldn't catch the surprise that still lingered behind my welcoming words. I started to invite her inside, then thought better of it, remembering that there is only the one room, and it hardly seemed appropriate to talk to her in what was essentially my bedchamber. She seemed a bit confused by that, as her eyes kept cutting to the cottage, but she didn't say anything.
Instead, she produced a small basket from under her cloak and held it out to me, explaining that she had brought a small supper for the both of us. That surprised me too, given the time she arrived; it would be at least three hours before I could get free to eat, and then an additional hour to actually eat together, since I imagined she had more in mind than just a quick bite to eat. I quickly explained that to her, and she only smiled again and nodded. She had cleared her afternoon and evening, and she wanted to spend it with me.
The rest of the afternoon was an unusual experience. I watched the sheep as usual, and Seralisa sat with me, asking questions and seeming genuinely interested. I admit that I'd expected her to react quite differently, so this was a pleasant surprise. Perhaps we have more in common than I'd thought.
I still don't know what to think of our betrothal. She's a sweet woman, a perfect princess in the making. She often seems better suited to the title of royalty than I do. We are friends, certainly, and I enjoy spending time with her. She's a good conversationalist and, though a bit too easily frightened, able to hold her own in most situations.
But... can I love her? It's telling that my first reaction to her surprise visit was more annoyance than happiness. I would have preferred to have my afternoon to myself. And perhaps that's just because it was what I had anticipated the day would be like, and I was frustrated because my plans had gone awry. Yet if it had been one of my sisters, I would have been excited. It would have been a delight to show them around my cottage and explain to them the finer things (such as I know) of shepherding.
With Seralisa, though, there was none of that. She was interested, but I wasn't. The afternoon seemed so long.
This is so wrong of me. She doesn't deserve this. It's not as if she's forced me into a betrothal against my will. We both agreed to it, both recognizing that this is for the greater good of the kingdom. I can grow to love her. I will.
I must.