Why won't they let me leave?

I don't know how many sleeps it's been since Daddy stopped being Daddy. The farm is quiet, and the animals are gone. I think they left because they missed Daddy's voice. I miss it too.
 
Today, I had to go to the market because the bread was all green and fuzzy, and the milk smelled funny. I took the little tin where Daddy used to keep his coin and I went into the city. The guards didn't look at me this time. I wish they had. I don't like being invisible. It's scary when no one sees you.
 
The market was all noisy, but not like before. People weren't laughing or calling out good deals. They just moved around like ghosts. I bought bread and some cheese and a little meat, but everything was different. It was like when you bite into an apple and expect it to be sweet, but it's sour.
 
When I tried to leave, the guards blocked the gate. I don't understand why. I told them I needed to go home, to the farm, but they didn't listen. They just stared at me, and then one of them pushed me. I fell down and the food spilled everywhere. He kicked me and told me to move along. It hurt, not just where he kicked me, but inside, where I keep all the things I don't say.
 
I picked up the food, the bits that he didn't take from me, and I found a quiet corner. It's not a nice corner, but it's hidden. I cried there, not loud, just enough so I could feel it. I don't like crying where people can see. Daddy said crying is okay, but I don't think he meant crying alone.
 
I don't know what to do. The farm is lonely, and the city won't let me leave. It's like West Themar is a big cage, but I don't remember doing anything bad. Daddy said that sometimes bad things happen and we don't know why. I wish he was here to tell me why. I don't like not knowing.
 
I'm writing this down so I don't forget. I don't want to forget today, even though it hurts. I have to remember, so when I'm not little anymore, I'll know why I'm sad. I have to remember the bread and the cheese and the meat, and the corner, and the guards. I have to remember Daddy, and the farm, and the quiet. I think I have to remember because there's no one else to remember it for me.