Elm's Departure

Today was another beautiful day, which makes it hurt more than if it had been raining. Elm left for Dueam today.
Papa woke me up as usual this morning and we had breakfast in the garden. Papa had made porridge and eggs and sausages. Mama brought in milk as we sat down.
I helped Papa tend the garden most of the day as Mayra and Elm helped Mama turn the fields. We planted the herbs and cut back weeds. Papa planted peas along the wall, lettuce along the fence, and finer vegetables in the wind sheltered section. I planted squash and pumpkins in the larger section. Then Papa went to trim back the small grapevine and I went into the house to do my chores.
A tall, beautiful woman in gleaming armor adorned with the sign of Hosun came by just after lunch. Elm was so excited to see her and could barely contain himself enough to take care of the horse and the cart. Then we all sat down under the apple tree. Papa brought out tea for everyone, but I could not drink mine. My throat was so tight. Elm had talked about this day for so long. I did not want to ruin it for him by crying, but my baby brother was going away. Mama and Papa talked with the woman for a long time. Mayra got up and left, her annoyance clear on her face. I know she wants Elm to stay on the farm, because Papa and I are no real help. Mama is right that Elm and Mayra got all the strength and I got Papa's charms. Mama is obviously biased because she loves Papa.
 
Then Elm left on the woman's cart. She said they were going to Dueam, but I do not know if I trust her. Elm was so happy when he got his things together and stepped up into the cart. He promised he would write when he got there. I think he saw me starting to cry, because he got down from the cart, and cut off a piece of his long, white blond hair. He placed it in my hand and told me to hold on to it. He would use it to find me. He left the lock of hair with a hollowed pearl around it. I cried then.
 
When I got back to my room after Elm and the woman disappeared beyond the horizon on the way to Venzor, I found a slim box on my bed. The card was beautiful, but the text only read "For Rin. From Elm". Inside it was a beautiful silver flute. Elm must have saved for years to buy it for me. I took it out to the big room and Mayra was already there, a pair of new leather gloves in her hands. Elm had given Papa a fine book and Mama had been given a fine shawl.
 
I ran to the brook and I sat there, playing the flute until the sun started setting. I know the others were upset that I did not help them with the afternoon duties, but I could not think properly. I did help with the evening meal.
 
I don't know what to feel. My brother has left.
No, I know what I feel. Jealousy. I will also leave, but not right now. Elm is just 19 years old. Why did he get to leave before me!?