The 124th Street Gang

"You see, Blurg, the name of the game ain't 'not breaking the law', it's 'bending the law'. Say your buddy asked you whatcha doin here for us, you'd probably say that you were sellin drugs, right? But that's where you're wrong!"   "You see, as per the Estalian Criminal Code, Section 142.4 Subsection A, 'it is unlawful for any citizen to knowingly produce, distribute, or sell any controlled substance as defined in Subsection A1 of this section.'"   "Now, we definitely don't produce our products, as we ship them in from the Summer Shores. They're then brought from the ships to the shore by smugglers who 'ave no idea what they're carrying. Sure, they know it's something the Legion don't need to knows about, but they don'ts know it's drugs."   "Once it's onshore, our lads at the warehouse sort it and make individual portions of the snuff. And look, those goblins 'ave only a handfull of brain cells between them, there's no chance they're 'knowingly' doing anything."   "Those packets are then 'accidentally dropped' into the hands of our fences, who then go to their corners and alleys and sell bags. It's not their fault that each bag comes with some free lettuce!"   "And that's the other thing! Subsection A1 is just a list full of the names of various drugs theyve heard about. But as long as we don't call them by their government names, we can slips by! 'Angel dust', or 'Devils lettuce', or 'Stinky cheese', or whatevers you wants to call it - just as long as it ain't what it is."   "And finally, to tops it alls off, most of the people doing this work ain't even citizens."   "So you see? Nobody here's breaking the law. Bending it? Sure! Spitting in its face? Absolutely! Givin' it a right ol' middle finger? Givin' it two! But absolutely, positively, irrefutably, not at all breaking it."

- Slimy Rick, Mob Boss and Amateur Lawyer