Why We Stay

"We are immortal beings, Kay," Baydrith's deep voice rumbled. She was laying on his head, her wings nearly draped over his eyes. "It is in our nature to wonder and watch." Jay leaned their head on Kay's shoulder, Nali sat behind her, leaning back to back with Kay, her head drooped forward.   "Yes, I know that. What I'm wondering, father, is why. Why do we choose to exist in a mortal world, loving mortals, when they all leave. When everything is going to end, what's the point in living? Why do we live in the first place? What is the point?" Her hand reached upward, tracing a pictures in an empty, pale red sky. There were no clouds. They lived on an island that floated above them. Beneath her, Baydrith chuckled.     "Child, what is it with your musings today?"   "Why do we do this to ourselves?" Nali whispered, voice rough from crying.   "I'm merely curious, and I thought, as an immortal who had loved a mortal enough to have a child with her, you would be the perfect dragon to question."   Ordell sat down beside them, looping an arm around Kay's waist as Nali's harsh voice slipped into the silence of the forest around them, "They all died. Again."   Baydrith hummed. "You mean your mother."     "Yes."   Jay's softer whisper followed, "What is the point of it all if we can't save them. Not even one of them. Why do we even bother living if it's not worth anything. If there's only war and death and destruction and horror. Why?" The last word was a choked sob.   "Then I have a story to tell you." His head lowered to the ground, carefully shaking Kay off his head. A few seconds later he was standing in front of her in Teeveelay form. "Walk with me." He walked towards the ruins, Kay moved to walk beside him.   It was Kay who spoke next, her voice a quiet but steady whisper.   "Let me tell you all a story."   "When I met your mother, her family was in the midst of a clan war." He looked down at the ground, remnants of once beautiful mosaics shifting beneath his feet.   "Every day she would bury another family member. She spent hours preparing the dead every day." Kay was gazing into the distance, as if she was watching something the rest of them couldn't see. "My father used to ask her to leave. To go somewhere safer. She refused every time."   "She would always reply 'No. I am needed here. I want to stay here.'" His lips turned down slightly, a look of concern graced his face.   "He said he couldn't understand why. Why she would stay there when there was every possibility she could die. When she lost someone else every day."   He stopped walking, pausing to look up at the sky. At the few dragons flying above them. "Then, after another attempt to convince her come with me to the Island, after I received the same answer, the same refusal, I snapped. I shook her. I yelled at her. Told her how wrong it was for her to stay. How idiotic the idea was. But she only continued to smile at me. She wasn't upset. She did not yell back. She didn't fight. What she said next is what I continue to live by, as an immortal looking for a reason to continue to live."   Kay gripped her cloak tightly. Her hands were shaking. "My mother said 'sure, it's difficult. My family continues to grow smaller and we continue to lose a fight we never had any chance of winning in the first place. But between all of that I have moments that remind me why I want to live.'"   "She said, 'When I run through the fields with my sister, or when I feel sand underneath my feet, or see frost on the trees. When I fly with you or find a new flower. I always look for the moments that remind why I want to live, why I want to exist, and I cling to them.'" Baydrith's eyes had closed. "'Whenever it's hard I remind myself of those moments and tell myself, 'That. That is why I am living,' and I continue to do so for more of those moments. Even if it is something as simple as a smile. If I leave, what if I lose those moments with people I love? No. I stay here.'"   Kay turned, moving to face Jay and Nali, "That's why we keep going. Even if we lose everything. Even if we are all alone. We look for moments that remind us why we want to live, that remind us we exist. It's just like my mother said."   His eyes opened and he looked down at Kay, his hand lifted and cupped her cheek, rubbing it softly. "Ebele believed that despite the hell she lived in, those moments made up for it. She called it-"   "Living for the next moment of her existence." Kay smiled, but tears dripped off her chin. "And I think we should do the same."