Are Denironians Seriously Allergic To...
A transcript of a conversation overheard between two unknown individuals, likely Eternals of some kind. The two were discussing materials Denironians are allergic to.
"Okay, so they're allergic to chlorine. We've established that already. Chlorine is deadly to them, so much so that if water has high enough levels of chlorine, it will start to literally melt their skin off. That's a rather disturbing image now that I think of it." "You're the one who came up with it." "Right, right. I must have forgotten what age range this was for." "You think?" "Shut up. Anyway, are we sure the Denironians are also allergic to... that?" "I swear, I thought you were joking." "I was! So why are they allergic?" "Great question. Aren't you the Storyteller here?" "That doesn't mean I know everything. So, are the Denironians allergic to hummus? And if so, are they by extension allergic to chickpeas, because that's what hummus is made of?" "We are not having this conversation." "Too late, you're invested. This is what I deal with on a daily basis." "What, discovering random pieces of lore in your own world?" "No, discovering random things, realizing they won't make sense to others, and then trying to figure out how they work so that I can explain them to others. Like the whole thing with the auras for magic. Or trying to figure out if Ten is really the smartest person." "Well, if the Denironians really are allergic to hummus, are we going to have to look up the ingredients list?" "Oh gold I hope not." "Glad that's been established. Next question: what basis do you have to say that Denironians are allergic to hummus?" "Literally two throwaway lines, one about Drago and one about Owen." "What." "There's one instance where someone claims that Drago is allergic to hummus, and then a different conversation where Owen suggests attacking an unidentified plural enemy with hummus." "Are we sure Drago isn't allergic? It's honestly kind of a jump to suggest that just because one Denironian is allergic to something, all of them are." "Yeah, you're right." "So are they allergic?" "Let me consult the stars." Kjo është historia jote, fëmijë. Trego historinë që do të tregosh. Denironianët përfaqësojnë luftën, por mos lejo që idealet të të pengojnë të krijosh kontrast dhe kompleksitet. "Okay, that was creepy." "It's just the mutterings of the universe combined with my own subconscious mind. Anyway, we have our answer: many Denironians have a tendency towards food allergies related to the oils and minerals present in hummus, but it's mostly a recessive trait. Drago may be allergic, and it may be one of the most common Denironian allergies, but not all Denironians are." "Well. Glad that's been cleared up. What's next?" "You're already moving on? Fair enough. So, about that glitch with the Conquerors servers. You're sure it wasn't a hack? I mean, ever since..."
The audio file is corrupted from this point forward.
Type
Physiological
Genetic (Recessive)
Say no more.
Sonaro: Drago, what are you allergic to?
Drago: peace, people, emotion, the world you all care so much about…
Rhia, out of nowhere: he’s allergic to hummus
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Comments
Author's Notes
I can't believe how meta this article is. Anyway, I have no energy at all and decided to mess around and write something entertaining, at least to myself. Will I write an article about the Storyteller someday? Probably. Just not for a while. For now, enjoy.