Lemmony's Guide to killing the Gods

The following document has been found in a floating bottle, floating down a river. Its authenticity, in regards to the author, remains heavily debated.

  As you once were, so you may be again.
When a god is forced back into a mortal shape and form, it has a terrible effect on the world around it. While the death of minor gods may create deep pits reaching into the bowels of the earth, giant storms to devastate entire countries, plagues and swarms of locusts, they are nothing compared to the devastations caused by the death of older and more powerful gods.
 

Consequences of Killing a God

The corpse of this god will reform into its material components, enriched with a large amount of magic strewn in, to create a much worse reaction than any sane person could ever have predicted. First the god's divine plane or magic will collapse, tearing a hole into reality and spilling forth into our material plane.
This will cause a thematically appropriate catastrophe. Kill the god of a river, expect great floods to cause havoc in the surrounding area, drowning countless innocent bystanders you have dragged into this. Kill the god of a forest and expect the gruesome revenge of a thousand living trees, tearing apart everything and everyone that you brought into this mess. Just for the fun of it, try to end the god of locusts and see what happens, I kindly ask you to do that somewhere completely uninhabitated though - no particular reason, just a request from an old friend...
Then the god's corpse drops down onto this world.
 

On Killing a God

So you have decided to throw your life away for some reason only known to you - and everyone you keep boasting to. This would be your first mistake. If you want to pull off such a feat, you will need to evade the ever present stare of the gods. They talk to each other you know, if you tell your favourite god your plans, they might do the same.
I want to discourage you heavily from doing that, your chances of succeeding are basically zero and you might even get other people tangled up in the eventual retributions. Do you think the Empress of Death would have taken the path she did if her fool of a grandfather didn't royally piss of a multitude of gods? But if you are set on your path to revenge, glory or whatever - then let me at least try to help you on the way.
 

What comes after, or, why are you doing this?

Why am I even asking you this question? Well, your strategy should depend on your answer. Are you taking revenge for some appropriately tragic element within your past? Do you have an ever grander goal in mind? Are you definitely ready to take on the world, because you are definitely not consumed by your own hubris? Do you want the power of the Gods for yourself? Are you the one true saviour of your people?
All of these reasons and any other you might come up with can be categorized into three broader, you guessed it, categories. Please kindly rethink your madness and refrain from any attempt to kill any gods. If you are still here, choose the approach most likely to fit your needs.
 

I do not care if I and others die in the Process

What kind of maniac are you? Are you really that daft, that you would draw others into your madness as well? Ok, fine, lets proceed then. This is the easiest way for killing a God. Just gather an enormous amount of power, put it into something pointy and then put the pointy thing into the Gods. Voilá you just killed a God and caused a cascading amount of catastrophes that will kill you first, then everyone in the same location and eventually everybody else.
Congratulations, now I have to find and PAY some plucky young adventurers to stop whatever you have unleashed upon the world - are you happy now??? For generations to come you will be a villain, a boogeyman and over all dark figure to anyone that ever hears about you.
 

I and the others want to survive and remain ourselves

How considerate and altruistic of you. You will only be remembered for your stupidity and not your selfish malice. Well, lets get to it then, all the same stuff from above applies. With one major difference, you gotta lure your preferred victim somewhere where there are no other people around. How do you do that with a godly force that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time?
That is on you. Some gods like working by appearing as an avatar of themselves while others need to be "visited" in their own personal domains. There you only affect the God's local followers - convinient.
Now the big question relates to your and your (potential) allies' survival. The trick is to take a small part of the dead God's power to protect yourself. Be careful to not become too greedy though, you might be on the next guys list!
 

I want to usurp the God

Now that is what I call a proper delusion of grandeur! Congratulations my friend, you are attempting to do something that has only succeeded a number of times I can count on my left hand, you know what I am talking about.
What you wanna do is either to convince every living follower of the God to follow you instead - easy peasy for someone as capable as you are. You could also try to find some way to convince the magic itself that you are actually the one connected to it and not the mind that currently occupies the space you want (and deserve). I have no idea how you would go for that without being a god yourself, so if you figure out a way, please, do let me know what happens.
The last, and most entertaining, way is to kill the god, pick up their power and then just hold onto it. This is a bit more dangerous than you might imagine. The moment all this power flows through you, in that moment will you be vulnerable to basically everything and everyone...  

Choosing a proper Target

So, have you decided who it will be? Maybe a local deity, doing a bad job protecting your favourite forest or montain, you think you can do better? You really wanna have a proper godly portfolio of your own?
I would really recommend for you to start out small and then work your way up from there. Just a teeny tiny god to test the waters, as a preparation for later and grander kills. No matter what, I would recommend that you would not choose one that is aware of your existence. It is paramount that they do not know of your existence, lest they prepare for what you are about to do to them.
I recommend that you choose a god that is not only unaware of your existence, but also one that veers in to the extremes in familiarity to you. One that is increasingly close, the patron of your race, craft etc. makes you much more likely to be able to connect with the power behind the god, helps you lure them into a trap etc. One that does not know or care about you might not expect your attack - so choose wisely my not so wise friend.
If you plan on usurping the power, you want to choose one that already aligns with who you are. I once saw a cruel warrior trying to kill a god of mercy, to rob their followers of their god and turn them into something else, power just ripped his soul into shreds and put them with the wind (that is where storms come from, just by the way). That was a really funny sight, the guy actually believed that he would succeed, just like you!
 

What you may need

Now we are getting into the nitty-gritty details of the whole affair. I once again ask you to reconsider and spend your final days counting up to infinity or something, would be much more fun!
If you are still here: Lets talk about the people first. You want to do this alone, trust me on this one. Whoever you drag into this will either very likely be killed, or try to take your rightful place in the pantheon. If you have to take someone, might I suggest a zombie or two? Mindless followers are the best, laugh at all your jokes and all that. Even they pose risks, undead and large amounts of magic power might result in unintended consequences.
Want to bring some equipment? Why? Even stuff enchanted by the gods personally will not really help you, none of them would be stupid enough to create something that would be able to kill them - they wouldn't...
 

The proper use of a dead God's corpse

You gotta be frugal in this world and make sure that nothing of your kill goes to waste. Whenever you kill such a strongly magically charged being, it is ensured that their corpse will be quite peculiar. Usually they turn to stone, local gods of a single hill make for a great foundation for your first home! Might be a good place to start on your manic journey of death and destruction.
Larger and more powerful gods get to turn into actual mountains and sometimes even mountain ranges. Guess what the largest graveyard of god corpses is you have ever seen - I won't tell...
 

Final Words

Please note that this guide only applies to mortals. If you are already a god, then I want to sternly remind you of the rules, all of you are bound by.