Session 004: In Which the Heroes Liberate the Libations and Go to Hell

Wherein Exposition Occurs

  The "kidnap Blademark and pretend to be him" strategy goes quite well. But it seems the heroes got in between the torrid love affair between him and his half-orc Lieutenant Tova! In a plot ripped straight out of Hollywood script, the heroes must keep up this charade before Tova becomes too suspicious lest their plan is foiled.   Editor's Note: Perhaps a Weekend at Bernies pop reference would have been more apt... But full disclosure I have not seen it. I've only seen references to it and at this point I'm too afraid to ask what it's actually about.   They mostly succeed but when Captain Hakar reveals he is the true murderer and has killed Lucia and the real Blademark (who was tied up by the heroes...) Tova becomes heart broken at having lost her love and been actively lied to. She looks at the cleansing power of fire and contemplates the unthinkable but is talked down by Erky, focusing her attention to matters more pertinent.   Fox, the makes his triumphant return! It is a well established fact of lore that the Dragonborn and cold-blooded creatures. This cold climate high in the mountains made it difficult for him to keep up with the other heroes but his friendship with Janzuroth allowed him to overcome and help save the day!   Lawyer's disclosure: The FAA, FCC, and Thirsty Bard Adventures Corp. Inc. LLC condone drinking and flying in any shape and form. The depictions contained herein are purely fictional nor do they represent the actual views of the author. By simply reading this sentence you have agreed to a Non-Disclosure Agreement which carries a penalty of no less than zero days of jailtime howeverto hereby potentially up to a life sentence could be applied.   Janzuroth looked good flying about and has developed a sophisticated habit where he drinks only the fines of wines, flies about like a goddamn champion, and belches forth great balls of fire.   On a more sobering note, Thomdeyr was killed by Hakar as he fought wildly until the bitter end. Papa Gru would have been next had he not been saved by his Relentless Endurance.   Devilish tendrils follow Erky as another foe tries to destroy him. Is this mere coincidence or has he upset the strands of fate that connect Midgard to the World Tree Yggdrasil? Either way his current predicament is less than ideal: suspended above lava grasping onto the arches of a portal to the Nine Hells. Can he close it in time or will it keep expanding?  

I whisper into my Froggie Talkie!

— Erky, talking into a dead frog familiar

 

Konrad's Balls saved the day!

— Papa Gru, regarding Konrad's Flaming Spheres... Wait that doesn't make it any better...

 

Ghostpunchers. Trademarked.

— Papa Gru, getting ahead of the Mouses's lawyers