29. Party Time Part 2
General Summary
Mika gets himself composed visually and heads downstairs, slips back in among partygoers affecting like he never left; he's very practiced at that.
But he can't relax. Everything feels far away, even though he keeps checking and he's not accidentally muting his interoception. He hears voices but has to focus to get what the people around him are saying, and it's freaking him out a bit even though this is not a new experience. Nothing here feels familiar, he can hardly believe he's in such a place even when the brainspice is mild.
He takes a turn just hoping for an emptier hallway and hears the sounds of the kitchen ahead, walking on autopilot at first, then a thought - kitchens are familiar. Work is familiar. Grounding. That's a thing.
The door is propped open - probably to facilitate people going in and out with dishes and food all the time. He steps inside.
It's a large space, with a constant sound of gently running water. Two streams flow from aqueducts high on the wall, distributing in tributaries to various basins. One has fluffy towels and a shelf with bars of fragrant soap, another runs in a stream, near a stool low enough to slide below it like a table. Others feed a large machine in the back wall. Doors on swinging hinges lead to pantries, canneries, wine cellars, root cellars and cold storage. Pots, pans, knives, ladles, serving implements whose purpose escape Mika's understanding of cookery hang from every hook and fill every shelf. The only thing this place isn't full of is people.
There's only one person in here at the moment. A short, curvy air genasi. She's got her hair up, sectioning off her dense, flowing afro with two ties on the top of her head, and she's all silvers and grays. She's leaning up against the counter, relaxed, munching on some berries in a little wooden bowl, a damp washcloth tucked into her apron belt for the moment, when she sees this skinny guy walk in like he's lost.
"Did you need something, ser?"
Mika takes a second to process what she said; it sounds like it comes from further away than she is. When he finds his voice, he says, "Did you need- I was hoping to help out. For a bit. Wash dishes or... something?"
She cocks her head to the side, but doesn't look perturbed at his request.
"Noors have the setup so none of us need to do dishes, just load the machine over there." She nods her head to a metalwork with several pipes hooked up to it.
Mika's face is immediately flavoured with disappointment, as if to say oh of fucking course they do.
"What's your stance on peeling potatoes?" she finishes the berries and rinses off her hands in the running water.
"I can do that." So fast she's almost not finished saying 'potatoes.'
She smiles and nods to a hanger on the wall with aprons.
He follows her gaze, takes a second to remember what he's wearing and let the cold dread of potentially staining it shock his gut like a splash of cold water, then grabs one, ties it behind his back while walking.
"And wash your hands, first. What's your name, by the way? I'm Seva."
He nods, heading to the handwash basin and scrubbing up. "Mika. Good to meet you." He dries his hand quickly, fighting habit to use one of the towels hanging above the water rather than the front of the apron, and offers a clean hand, which Seva shakes briefly but heartily.
She sets him up with a peeler, a barrel of potatoes and a large bowl to put the peeled ones in.
He looks at the peeler with a slight frown. He can tell how it's used - it's not a complicated device, but holy hell, how is even peeling potatoes different here? Specialized, refined. What kind of kitchen has a tool just for peeling potatoes? There's a static creeping in from his ears.
"Something the matter?"
Seva's voice cuts through the noise, confused but not insulted.
Mika hesitates. Mirage's voice is playing in his mind, a thousand rephrases in a thousand tones and angles, all insisting the same thing.
"Would it be okay if I just use a knife?" He's opening his mouth to add that its fine if not but Seva is already standing off her stool retrieving a paring knife from a countertop knife-block. She flips it in her palm, handing it to him handle-first. "Sure, fine by me."
"Cool. Thanks."
Mika is used to doing kitchen work with minimal tools. The knife she's given him is a little heavier than he used at home, but it's got the same worn-wood handle, the same shape. It's familiar in his hands, and he leans on muscle memory, relaxing into the rhythm.
They work in silence for a while. Occasionally, staff members come in and out, but nobody looks twice at them as they move through, putting dirty dishes in the contraption Seva indicated, retrieving trays of prepared snacks from the pantries. Seva catches him eyeing the machinery and lets him know its a gnomish device, mixes heated water with soap and pumps it through the dishes so fast it's a wonder they don't break.
"Some stuff needs polishing after, but that's about it. Saves a lot of time."
"I bet."
Seva glances over at him. "So, you one of the shy ones? We always get one or two who aren't comfortable with the crowds."
Mika huffs an exhaled single-syllable laugh, somewhat abashed. "I don't know about shy." The work is helping; the motions are familiar, even if the surroundings aren't. "I'm just.... not from around here. All the pomp and circumstance feels weird. This is... more normal."
Seva nods, but doesn't force conversation. She gets up every so often to take a dish of peeled potatoes into cold storage, or answer the questions of staff and occasional guests who poke their heads through the door.
None of them look twice at the party guest in the apron, either.
"This happens often, then?" Mika asks as a gentleman wanting to know if someone called Umi was working that evening headed back to the festivities.
"Oh yeah" Seva answers from the cold cellar, her voice muffled. "I'm sure the hosts told you already - here, people do what they want short of physical or verbal violence." She climbed the stairs back into the kitchen with two empty bowls, placing one next to Mika and one by her own station. "Sometimes, people just want to peel potatoes, you know? Nothing wrong with that."
Mika nods, eyes on his work.
"Yeah, that tracks." But he sounds like he still thinks there must be a catch
One corner of her mouth lifts up, but she plops back down on her stool and goes back to peeling.
"So are you family, or friend? Don't think I've caught you around here before, unless you came when I was off-shift."
"Oh, uh. Friend. Of Marwa's. I guess we're crashing here for a while tying up some loose ends. Didn't really anticipate...." he gestures vaguely toward the door where the distant sounds of conversation and music still make it through the kitchen sounds every now and again.
"I mean, if I showed up home after being a missing person for that long... let's just say it wouldn't be a party."
She huffs out a laugh "The Noors can't resist a party."
"That also tracks," Mika agrees. He's smiling, thinking about the girl who wanted to dance in a library.
"Wonder if this one will count for her birthday, too," Seva contemplates, "or if they'll do this all over again next month."
The comment gets a sideways glance. "Didn't realize it was that soon," he says. "Figure she'll probably go for a second one though. Probably never gets boring around here, huh?"
She scoffs and shakes her head in response.
"Yeah," Mika returns his gaze to the potato, smiling. "Just one Noor has that effect on the road. I can only imagine five of them in one spot."
"Best job I've ever had, but when I mentioned that sometimes people just want to peel potatoes and this house is cool with that? I've seen Lydia in here chopping veggies before. You never know what to expect, there's no planning for the workday here."
Mika startles, task forgotten as he stares at her like he's trying to tell if she's pulling his leg.
"Akadi's honest truth," Seva assures, "I saw it myself. She's just like that. They all are."
"Huh." Mika considers this.
"But like..." he frowns, he's trying to figure out if what he wants to ask is rude, or will lose him his potato-peeling-haven.
Seva waits him out, just keeps peeling. it's very clear that she doesn't need the conversation. He can think as long as he wants.
"If you woke up one day," Mika starts, speaking slow, measuring his words, "and said, like, fuck potatoes I don't feel like cooking today..."
Its inflected like a question, like 'You'd still have to suck it up and just get it done, it can't be an actual anything-you-want paradigm. There's gotta be rules, they're just not spoken, right?'
She squints at him, trying to like, understand why he's confused.
"We're paid a yearly salary, room and board is covered as part of the gig," she says, patient. "If I said fuck peeling potatoes, I'm out, I could take whatever time I needed and then come back when I was ready."
He's watching her like he still doesn't quite follow, or he's waiting for her to say more. She shrugs.
A beat of silence.
"Cool." He's frowning at his potato-in-progress, not angrily, just like he's got the Big Thoughts.
"All the people here," she continues, "we want to work here. I like what I do, and if something isn't working for me or I have questions, I can walk straight up to Lydia herself and say so. We're people to them, not tools. And sometimes people need a break, you know?"
He nods as she speaks. "That's great. Genuinely. Sounds like you have a good situation." But he's still got the BigThoughts frown on.
"My ma and grandma both worked here," Seva adds. "Wouldn't have it any other way."
Mika doesn't answer. He's thinking of his dad dragging himself off to the nth day of overtime because taking sick days is how you stop being able to find work again. Hearing '<You wanna sleep or you wanna eat?'> a common refrain for a kid who's tired from growing even if he's not doing that much of it. Kicking blankets across the tiny room to remove their temptation. Dragging his skinny ass out of bed to help pack lunch anyway, mumbling "Comer. Estou acordado" through a yawn that felt like it'd unhinge his jaw. Passing the day walking streets and dodging stares, kicking off shoes that were half-holes and starting dinner to the soundtrack of an empty apartment. Recognizing the creases of a suppressed yawn in the corners of Pai's eyes, feeling caught between happy and guilty at being allowed to finish his rambling stories of stern librarians and endless shelves of endless books as the fire burned low, hours before another working dawn running through fingers like water.
The memories are grounded in a heavy, stony resentment, but it's an anchor with no purchase here. It's older than this place, this family. It was forged by the people who could be using their resources this way, and every day decide not to. There's enough money in Midnight to give the people building it some time to goddamn SLEEP. But it's being spent on lavish masquerades and imported wines. It takes a conscious effort to force his mind back to the present, relax his grip on the paring knife.
"Well I don't know what kind of job you're working these days but you're a dab hand at peeling potatoes," Seva remarks, either not noticing his tension or choosing to breeze by it. "You can come work for me anytime." She gives him a grin as she stands up, finished her barrel.
He manages a chuckle, "Believe me, would if I could."
A kitchen hand runs in, hanging up her apron while talking mile a minute about how she's done polishing the silver and [name] said it was fine if she goes to dance after that so she's going now byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Seva chuckles as the kitchen door swings behind her, but Mika's staring. It's hit him like a thunderclap that Mirage said she'd come collect on the dance offer "in a little bit," and that was how long ago now?
Seva is taking off her apron and washing her hands again, putting stuff away. He scrambles up off his seat,
"Where does-" He turns in place, realizing he doesn't know where to put the finished potatoes.
"Here, I'll take those." She takes them from his outstretched hands, smiling at his sudden energy.
"Abrigado."
"Sure. My shift is over, I'm headed home. Nice to meet you, Mika. Hang out in here anytime you like."
Mika nods, doing a quick wash of hands, drying them on the apron as he speedwalks to hang it up.
"Back at you, Seva. Might just take you up on that."
"And tell Marwa we gotta talk," Seva adds as he starts toward the doors, "she owes me 15 gold!"
That catches him mid-step like he really wants to know the story there, but there's no time. Maybe Marwa can tell it. If she's still there. If she's not pissed at him for leaving her hanging.
"You got it, thanks again." He books it.
By the time Mika arrives at the ballroom, he's walking at a more normal, if still purposeful pace. He scans the room, and finds Mirage off in the corner chatting with Siobhan and Cri. They're holding champagne flutes and laughing. He takes a breath, starts walking over. Realizes he left his jacket in the couch room. Is mildly annoyed at the lack of an easy fidget for at least one hand. "Listen, I'm telling you, even people who float can get tired feet. It's a THING, I'm not making it up!" Mirage is half-laughing, but her indignation sounds real. "I'm not saying it isn't, just that maybe you should try being groundbound in heels just for like, a week. Just to get a fair comparison." Shiv's got her debate-with-sources voice out, but she's grinning. Cri spots him coming first. She turns to look at him and smiles, but doesn't announce him. He smiles back, affecting calm. It's convincing. "Walking cross-country also in the running, I think," he says as he comes into conversant range. "In boots?" Shiv scoffs like there's no comparison. Mirage grins. "There he is! You still down for a dance? We better get out there quick before the band packs up." Relief floods him. As soon as he clocked the subject of their conversation, he had begun to resign himself to having missed his chance, and the hope that flares across his eyes when she says that is absolutely unmistakable. She gives him a warm smile. Offers him her elbow, and they head out to the floor There's already a song going. It's a similar style of music playing for most of the night, it sounds like it could be off the same album as the song the library played. Lots of brass, big band sound. All the instruments she picked on that day match what's currently playing. They step into a rhythm like breathing, and the rest of the tension falls from Mika's shoulders as they pull each other through the steps and turns. He's thinking of the Naiad in midnight, how he would have kept her to himself on the dance floor all night if she'd let him, an impulse harder to fight with every step. "You missed Siobhan and Saeldor dancing, by the way." Her voice pulls him back to the present. Laughs, "So should I give our paladin my sympathies for their stomped feet, or was she too busy being googly-eyed to manage that?" "She stood on his feet and he waltzed them around, it was glorious. So glad I caught it." He chuckles, he can picture it well enough, "Bet that put her in a good mood. Explains the lack of a death threat back there, thought she was going soft for a second." "Her? The woman nicknamed after a blade, going soft? Doubtful." "Siobhan means 'spirited woman,' too. Nickname makes phonetic sense, but yeah. Sometimes they hit the mark on accident." "You and names. I wonder what Cri's name means, or Saeldor." He looks intrigued, unable to sell the shrug as disinterest, a tint over his cheeks. "Hey, sometimes you don't appreciate what you have til it gets eaten by the void." "I'll take your word for it." "That's for the best. But listen, I realized something today-" halfway through the sentence, the music fades out. The song's over. One of the band members thanks everyone for coming, tells them this next number is their last song. Strings come in. It's slow. He tries to read her face, looking for a gauge on how game she is. Marwa shrugs, and moves to keep dancing, if he does. She's realizing she doesn't know if Mika's interest extends to slow-dance, and he's thinking damn it has been a minute. There's still a lot of people on the floor, but he doesn't seem especially bothered by the number of people present. Not that different from a bar, just bigger. Also it's never been about performance or what the people around them see or think. he's more interested in just playing movement off movement, regardless of speed. Getting in synch, exploring the melody, throwing you a loop and watching how you catch it. It's a game, and a conversation both. Mirage looks like she's enjoying herself. She looks. Gorgeous. She'd look radiant with Grade-A Bedhead at the crack of dawn before coffee scowling at the sun like its rise is a personal offence. "I realized," he continues, once they've found a rhythm that works, "That I never thanked you properly." She tilts her head in confusion, wrinkles her nose. "You're welcome?" "You say that like you can't figure what for," Mika laughs. He cocks an eyebrow, asks, "You do realize, pretty much every good thing happening for me right now was your doing, one way or another, right?" She opens her mouth, and closes it. Tilts her head the other way. "Are you teasing me right now? I'll hit you so hard, I don't care how much trouble it gets me in with Mama." "What? No, I'm dead serious." His confusion is genuine. "You could've left me in Cri's tower, or put me on the road and told me to hit it. You didn't. Then, after that nonsense, it was your idea, the game thing, at the fire. Boss was absolutely going to grill me freestyle and we both know it. I don't think I could have given him any kind of satisfying answer. I... I don't think I'd still be hanging around without that." The more he talks, the pinker her cheeks get. "And that's not even getting into - gods, it feels ridiculous even to say." He drops her gaze for a second, shaking his head, "the wish thing. I was honestly expecting you to laugh. You know your mom came and talked to me about it? Said she's going to get your dads on board about it?" "I - no, she didn't mention it, but that doesn't surprise me. What one of them knows, they all know." He chuckles, shaking his head, smiling at her blush because its adorable to fluster her even when she's not looking so stunning to start with. "Yeah, that tracks," he remarks, unsurprised, "You really do tell each other everything, huh? But listen, I mean it." He pauses, skipping a beat in the melody to look her in the eyes. "Thank you." Marwa looks down, sheepish. She can't hold his gaze for long. "You don't owe me anything," she murmurs, "It's just what we do for each other." I think he's thinking about that, like he's got a thought and he's figuring out how to say it, maybe chewing the inside of his lip a bit for a sec. "I know it's not, you know, transactional," he says, a little slow, "But I feel like when someone does that much for you, especially when they have every reason not to, you still get to feel gratitude." She looks every bit as uncomfortable with his gratitude as he looks with hers. She's smiling and grateful, she just doesn't have anything to say? She looks moved, but she can't come up with a quip back, can't really form sentences, so she just nods. "You look amazing tonight, by the way. Don't think I said anything earlier." She's dodging his eye contact, cheeks burning. It's giving the same expression as when he whipped out those romantic lines from way back, speechless and trying not to be. He's chasing her gaze like she did in Midnight when he was being all hesitating. He recognizes her fluster, and it makes him grin. "What?" he drawls, "You can't tell me I'm the first one here to tell you you look like an entire sky full of stars coalesced into a person." Marwa opens and shuts her mouth once, then says, "Well, no. Not in so many words. I forget sometimes what a silver tongue you have, gotta watch myself with you." She gives a quiet laugh "Hm, maybe I'll try fewer then. Marwa, você é uma visão." "I don't know what you said but if it's that I'm fabulous and gorgeous and the best ever, then yes, I agree." Looks like she's collected herself a little bit, enough to throw out snark, but he can absolutely tell he threw her off her game He laughs. He likes snarking with her about as much as flustering her anyway. "Close enough. I could always teach you a bit, you know. If you wanted." "Oh! Sure!" Genuine happiness. Followed up with a teasing smirk, "Teach me, oh wise nerd!" She grins "Can we start with the curse words?" A smirk, "You realize you'd have only my word what you're actually saying." A dramatic hand on her chest, mouth agape. "Are you telling me, good ser, that you'd LIE to little old me? But I'm just an innocent maid." He snorts, fondly incredulous. "Who made up a campfire game, and didn't cut you that one time?" she continues to protest. "Oh no, I trust you to Baator and back. Anytime." She smiles, dropping the jest. "We can trade, if you want. I could teach you Aurian- wait, you were able to read Amir's journal!" Switches to Aurian, "<Do you already speak Aurian, you little sneak?>" Mika startles when she points out the journal, but there's zero comprehension on his face when she switches languages. "Oh." Like he realizes that she's clocked a disconnect there, then kind of abashed smile "I mean, yeah; that was reading. I don't speak a single word, but that last bit sounded like something I might get familiar with if you decide to continue - I assume - upbraiding me in it." She lets out a big laugh, "Then we'll trade. You teach me your word for things, and I'll teach you mine. Deal?" Grin, wide, reaches his eyes. "Deal!" Mirage grins back, a smile that softens as a comfortable silence takes over. She's lost in his eyes, inkwells in the low light, letting the strings carry her through the steps, one hand tethered on his steady shoulder, the other loose on his waist, the silk fabric of his shirt smooth under her fingers. That suit is doing him nothing but favours, even without the jacket. It's cut in sharp, clean lines and the candlelight is illuminating his warm brown skin. He's a vision. She lets the rest of the ballroom fade away. She has always been able to float but she definitely feels like she is now, even with her feet on the ground. Her cheeks are warm, her chest is light. The song ends far, far too soon. Mirage is thoroughly twitterpated. She's been dancing with people all night long, but anybody who's still around would see her really happy here, and her parents are like oooooooo those are some rosy cheeks girl I think when the dance is done, she'd ask if she can give him a quick hug. "Hug? Yea or nay?" He gets an exclamation mark over his head, like he's startled by the request. not upset, but surprised "I mean - sure?" he hasn't finished the sentence and she's wrapped her arms around him he has a second of like, being-hugged but arms are not connected yet before he'll relax and hug you back. "Thanks for the dance." smile "That's my line." sticks her tongue out at him He laughs, "No but really, Abrigado. I know you were tired." "Mika Oliviera, I say this here and now in front of witnesses. I will dance with you any day, any time. I love dancing." "Careful now. If it's like that, I'm going to have to get the boss to recruit a bard." "There's one right over there." she points to Lydia, who's still holding court with a handful of guests, and who certainly clocked the colour on her daughter's face. So Lydia waits for the band to wrap (most of them) and then takes the stage, I think with her wind powers she doesn't need a lot of backup instruments; her voice is the main feature. And as she gets started, more people will wander in from the other rooms to the sound. I don't know that Mika has a musician's ear, he can clock a beat and likes to dance, but he doesn't play anything, and I don't know that he's in the habit of just listening to music, but he definitely understands why she's famous now, even if he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain why it's good. She's singing the song she was working on earlier. Cri already thought it was good, but Lydia did indeed fix her frustration with the bridge, and now it's perfect. I think this is a relatively common way the Noors wrap a party. When she finishes, there's applause of course, but also people start cleaning up a bit. like no one's being hustled out but people start saying goodbyes and goodnights, and those who linger are like, chatting on couches, waiting for rides etc, not partying; its a wind-down signal. I think Saeldor definitely is moving around to say bye to folks they met because absolutely they connected with literally everyone they talked to Ta'lok maybe made a couple new acquaintances who get a "good meetin you", too probably former adventuring buddies of Julius and Alejandro's. Jadeira finds Marwa again and re-expresses her gratitude and admiration for the "perfect a-plus no-notes exactly-right way she handled the situation on the Jade Fury "Thank YOU Jadeira, I owe you one." and promises she'll mail ship schematics as soon as she's got them transferred from cocktail napkin to proper sheets "Don't forget to give Asmira my love!" double thumbs-ups Mirage goes upstairs and screams into her pillow
feel like she waits untnil she knows he's in his room, probably saying her goodbyes to party homies, then goes to her own room and gets in jammies and heads toward his room via connected balconies. they're used to sneaking in each other's windows. he's probably at the provided desk, looking at one of the ciphers she brought along but not seeing it. she sees his light on and busts in. "No rest for the wicked?" He's startled, but as soon as he clocks who it is he just kind of rolls his eyes and says "well, you'd know. Too wired to trance yet?" "Kind of. Just saw your light on, thought I'd interrupt whatever you were doing. You're not working on those puzzles NOW, are you?" "You'd prefer I work on them during Social Activities?" "I just assumed you'd be asleep. What's got you all twisted up?" He squints for a millisecond. Realizing that Shiv doesn't know. Trying to figure how she'd react. She's not got the "oh you poor thing" vibe, but that doesn't mean she'd let it go easily. "Just wired, I guess" "Ahuh." He's turned sideways in the chair to face her at this point, leaning one arm on the desk. "If you came looking for an accomplice I gotta say I don't think it'd be a great idea to burn, tag, or therwise deface anything in this particular location." "Yeah, no. I'm not an idiot, Mika. Just came to see if you think you're gonna make it to the end of summer," she says, with a knowing smirk Tired sigh, drags his hands down his face. "I don't guess it's too late to renegotiate?" "Not backing out, are you?" "Seems only fair, since you backed me in" "Coward." He flinches. "It's not like that." "Wait really? You're gonna renege? I saw you two dancing tonight, I thought - what's the deal?" He's looking away, thinking hard/fast. "I don't- look I'm not trying to front like I don't care about her. I do. A lot. And if this was what, three years ago? There'd be no need for you to hound me like this I tell you what. But it's really not that simple anymore." "You're really going to sit here and talk yourself out of something good. Something we both know you want." "Have you considered that what I want might be the most disgustingly selfish shit that ever bore speaking?" "I'm not talking myself out of something good, I'm talking myself into not being an asshole for a change." "That doesn't even make sense, you sound like you're some martyr, protecting her from some cursed shit." Exasperated sigh. I think he's looking at her thinking about every time one or the other of them have been low and gone straight to the other. It's so fucked up that his best friend doesn't know what's going on, but he's still scared to give her even a single breadcrumb if the trail leads to the crap in his head. "Shiv... cursed doesn't even start to describe it. I'm not wired. I just don't sleep anymore." "What." "Yeah. Counted sheep and everything. Saeldor tried a sleep spell. Didn't take. Handy for standing watch. And I don't have to dream anymore, which is a big plus by itself." "What the fuck? Why?" (So I think they were still wrking at the library together when he first started being able to do some magical stuff. It was benign things then; a sixth sense, an uncanny ability to read anything written down, deflecting divinations, the distortion thing. she was studying wizardry, and his stuff was cantrip level, but it was cool he figured it out on his own. She probably also figured him for sorcerer, just with an unclear catalyst) "Learned a new trick or two. May have bit off a tad more than I can chew." "Wait - wait, are you actually cursed? Warlock, or some shit?" "It's probably both if I'm being logical about it." a half-hearted fingergun because bi joke. "What the fuck. I am literally studying to be a wizard, asshole. We could have studied together, practiced together, if you wanted magic." He shakes his head, emphatic. "I didn't go looking for this. I was perfectly happy being a mundane RA." I think he's conflicted because explaining how it started seems like a pretty high ranking infohazard. "I went with 'sorcerer' for a long time because there wasn't anything outside my own head I could attribute it to. I really thought I'd figured those first spells out on my own." The bitterness in his voice, 'like a naive idiot' is unspoken, but unmistakably present. "Obviously I was mistaken. Nothing's free in this world. I just didn't realize the bill was so high until it came due." she just plops down on his bed and frowns. "So what are you doing about it?" He chuckles. "You sound like Pai." But then he's thinking, a pause before he speaks again, sober. "Well, not nothing. I haven't found a lot of viable options, but I've been looking for over two years now." She makes a face in sympathy "Marwa proposed stabbing, but I don't think it's particularly stabbable." "I love her. Seriously though if you won't date her, does that mean I get to?" I think he laughs, but then he shakes his head. "Wouldn't that just be ironic as hell. If I wasn't such a selfish moron I'd honestly say go for it. "You're going to think I'm being flip but honestly I"ve narrowed down my options to either finding a way to wipe my own memory, total clean-slate, or the other thing with reasonable odds is a literal Wish. I'm not- I don't think I'm ready to give up just yet. But this isn't a new line of research for me." "...okay. Can I be working on stuff at the library while you're out here, wooing your lady?" He rolls his eyes to the back of his skull, but she keeps talking. "Give me a direction." He opens his mouth, then closes it again. He hates how many people are in on this mess, how naturally it follows from reaching even a little bit towards another person. He wants to tell her everything an keep her safe at the same time and doesn't know how to do both "Mirage wants to stab it, that means you've told her all this? What did she have to say?" "most of it. She wants to try the Wish thing. I told her go for it. Safe enough for her to chase a fairy-tale." "Her mother is a literal djinni." I think he'll realize he's not caught her up on his part and give her the short version of the cognitohazard deal "Ah. That's important part of all this." He nods "Well fuck." "Never could resist a mystery." "You planning on asking the Noors? I'm happy to do whatever I can from Midnight but it seems like these guys have resources to spare." "I definitely wasn't, it's bad enough how many people are looped in on this bullshit, but Marwa beat me to it." "These people are like, mad transparent." "Must drive you nuts." she chuckles He doesn't. I think the lack of total transparency between him and his parents rested easier before his adventures. "Shiv can I talk to you? "We're literally talking, but sure." "I'll be real, I don't know how much is too much in terms of hazardous intel. nods "If you could just scooch. Two feet to the left. That'd be so much appreciated." Shiv rolls her eyes and inches closer to Rose, who's asleep on his bed, gives her pats. "Thank you." He swallows. Thinks for a second before speaking again. "You ever done mushrooms? Or I don't know, similar?" "Sure, couple times. Why?" "You ever see stuff when you're high?" "Or hear it? Feel it?" "Yeah. That kid Beni and I got fucked up that one time, remember I told you about it after? Looked like stuff was growing out of dad's head, sprouted a few extra eyes." "Really fucked." "Tell me about it." "Cold sober over here and let me tell you it's a lot easier to focus when you're not sitting in whatever the fuck that mess of bones and bile is on the other end of the bed right now." I think she points to the spot he's describing He nods She runs her hand through the air he grimaces. "Could you not-?" strained "Ope. Okay. Huh. Been there the whole time?" "Yeah." "Okay. Um. Maybe this is the wrong question to ask, but have you tried poking it? Can you feel it, too?" "Visuals are new. Ish. It's been tactile for a while. I'm getting better at tuning out. Occasionally it's something actually happening and I probably look like a spacey idiot, but whatever." "Explains why you showed up to town looking like you were scared of your own shadow. So the options are memory wipe, or Wish, at this point?" "That's all I've got it narrowed down to. I'd explain why but, y'know, hazard." "Sure, sure." "Tried curse removal stuff already. Went to proper clerics and everything. I've had it on several pretty good authorities that I'm not cursed, not literally anyway. Or... possessed." He's talking slower, trying to parse out safe things he can say. He seems to be running out of them "Alright, alright. I get why you stayed away, then." He looks down. "Shiv I never should have left." the weight on his voice "Well duh, but here we are. And honestly neither of us would be here in this swanky mansion if you hadn't, so what are you gonna do. Unless time travel is part of your repertoire?" "Oh, yeah, time travel's technically something that could work if it's a thing, too. But about as complicated as Wish magic, in terms of not just creating new problems. But no, not a thing I can do. "Most of my stuff is... not anything I'm willing to demonstrate to a friend. Well, any more than I already have, I guess." thinking back to the library mission. She definitely saw things react to his spells there, though lsince his casting is so internal it's hard to suss out the cause-effect part. like he looks at a thing and his eyes white out and it starts screaming or reacting weird "Okay. Well. Like I said, I'll do some digging at the Library for instances of pact-breaking, see what I can find out. Let me know what you've already found so I don't cover old ground." He looks like he really wants to tell her not to but he's seen her dig her heels in before. "Oh - make sure I'm around if you decide to tell Marwa to steer clear of you for her own safety. I want a front row seat." He laughs, an actual laugh, at that. "She's really got me between a rock and a hard place." "Awful place to be, for sure." it's half-empathy and half-sarcasm, like acknowledging his predicament but also being like, "bitch we all saw her blush get outta here" I think he's quiet for a sec, thinking. He doesn't want to sound any more self-pitying than he probably already does. because he doesn't feel self-pitying. In his mind he's being rational, he's dealing with waht's in front of him, not sugarcoating. But part of that means admitting that, unless something comes out of left field, all signs point to that he can't offer a partnership right now, let alone anything ending in an 'ever after.' I think he thinks of going after her as seeking some company on the way out, more than anything else, which is why he calls it selfish. but he knows Shiv won't let him say something like that She can read the resignation on his face. "Up to you, but she's not an idiot, and she should probably have a say in who she spends time with." "Choices should be informed." He says it quietly. I'm trying to think timeline-wise, how much Siobhan knows about his family situation. I think Melody was new in his and saulo's lives when he started at the Library. She probably heard a bit about his distrust, his worry that they'd both have to go through being left behind again I'm wondering if she can clock how much he is absolutely appalled at the idea of being the catalyst of that kind of pain I think his biological mom left without notice. Just fucking dipped. He'd say she was never really there to start with. It'd debatable how much of that is rewriting history to reconcile something hard to explain. But I think he knows that, especially in the wake of a Compulsion, just disappearing one day is on the list of things he might do, whether he intends to or not. which is basically like, pulling back isn't going to make either of you stop caring about each other. it's going to hurt just as much now, pre-anything concrete romance-wise, as it would later, Like you're both alraedy in it, dude I don't think she shares his romantic sensibilities but she knows you can't talk yourself out of that kind of thing. You shoot your shot and it hits or it doesn't. that was 100% the way he operated when they knew each other before, anyway "I don't know, dude. Seems like you both might be in this a little too far to back out now. That fey asked her to dance and you flipped your shit. I bet she's just as dumb when you're in danger." He thinks about her talking about using herself as bait, and can't really refute it. She gets up and heads back to the balcony "Hey shiv?" "Yeah?" He looks for words a sec. I think he's caught between thanks, telling her she's right, telling her how fucked up it is that they ever got so out of touch. I think he settles on "Missed you." "You too, asshole." Half-smile. Tired, not completely at-ease, but real. Then he lets her go.
By the time Mika arrives at the ballroom, he's walking at a more normal, if still purposeful pace. He scans the room, and finds Mirage off in the corner chatting with Siobhan and Cri. They're holding champagne flutes and laughing. He takes a breath, starts walking over. Realizes he left his jacket in the couch room. Is mildly annoyed at the lack of an easy fidget for at least one hand. "Listen, I'm telling you, even people who float can get tired feet. It's a THING, I'm not making it up!" Mirage is half-laughing, but her indignation sounds real. "I'm not saying it isn't, just that maybe you should try being groundbound in heels just for like, a week. Just to get a fair comparison." Shiv's got her debate-with-sources voice out, but she's grinning. Cri spots him coming first. She turns to look at him and smiles, but doesn't announce him. He smiles back, affecting calm. It's convincing. "Walking cross-country also in the running, I think," he says as he comes into conversant range. "In boots?" Shiv scoffs like there's no comparison. Mirage grins. "There he is! You still down for a dance? We better get out there quick before the band packs up." Relief floods him. As soon as he clocked the subject of their conversation, he had begun to resign himself to having missed his chance, and the hope that flares across his eyes when she says that is absolutely unmistakable. She gives him a warm smile. Offers him her elbow, and they head out to the floor There's already a song going. It's a similar style of music playing for most of the night, it sounds like it could be off the same album as the song the library played. Lots of brass, big band sound. All the instruments she picked on that day match what's currently playing. They step into a rhythm like breathing, and the rest of the tension falls from Mika's shoulders as they pull each other through the steps and turns. He's thinking of the Naiad in midnight, how he would have kept her to himself on the dance floor all night if she'd let him, an impulse harder to fight with every step. "You missed Siobhan and Saeldor dancing, by the way." Her voice pulls him back to the present. Laughs, "So should I give our paladin my sympathies for their stomped feet, or was she too busy being googly-eyed to manage that?" "She stood on his feet and he waltzed them around, it was glorious. So glad I caught it." He chuckles, he can picture it well enough, "Bet that put her in a good mood. Explains the lack of a death threat back there, thought she was going soft for a second." "Her? The woman nicknamed after a blade, going soft? Doubtful." "Siobhan means 'spirited woman,' too. Nickname makes phonetic sense, but yeah. Sometimes they hit the mark on accident." "You and names. I wonder what Cri's name means, or Saeldor." He looks intrigued, unable to sell the shrug as disinterest, a tint over his cheeks. "Hey, sometimes you don't appreciate what you have til it gets eaten by the void." "I'll take your word for it." "That's for the best. But listen, I realized something today-" halfway through the sentence, the music fades out. The song's over. One of the band members thanks everyone for coming, tells them this next number is their last song. Strings come in. It's slow. He tries to read her face, looking for a gauge on how game she is. Marwa shrugs, and moves to keep dancing, if he does. She's realizing she doesn't know if Mika's interest extends to slow-dance, and he's thinking damn it has been a minute. There's still a lot of people on the floor, but he doesn't seem especially bothered by the number of people present. Not that different from a bar, just bigger. Also it's never been about performance or what the people around them see or think. he's more interested in just playing movement off movement, regardless of speed. Getting in synch, exploring the melody, throwing you a loop and watching how you catch it. It's a game, and a conversation both. Mirage looks like she's enjoying herself. She looks. Gorgeous. She'd look radiant with Grade-A Bedhead at the crack of dawn before coffee scowling at the sun like its rise is a personal offence. "I realized," he continues, once they've found a rhythm that works, "That I never thanked you properly." She tilts her head in confusion, wrinkles her nose. "You're welcome?" "You say that like you can't figure what for," Mika laughs. He cocks an eyebrow, asks, "You do realize, pretty much every good thing happening for me right now was your doing, one way or another, right?" She opens her mouth, and closes it. Tilts her head the other way. "Are you teasing me right now? I'll hit you so hard, I don't care how much trouble it gets me in with Mama." "What? No, I'm dead serious." His confusion is genuine. "You could've left me in Cri's tower, or put me on the road and told me to hit it. You didn't. Then, after that nonsense, it was your idea, the game thing, at the fire. Boss was absolutely going to grill me freestyle and we both know it. I don't think I could have given him any kind of satisfying answer. I... I don't think I'd still be hanging around without that." The more he talks, the pinker her cheeks get. "And that's not even getting into - gods, it feels ridiculous even to say." He drops her gaze for a second, shaking his head, "the wish thing. I was honestly expecting you to laugh. You know your mom came and talked to me about it? Said she's going to get your dads on board about it?" "I - no, she didn't mention it, but that doesn't surprise me. What one of them knows, they all know." He chuckles, shaking his head, smiling at her blush because its adorable to fluster her even when she's not looking so stunning to start with. "Yeah, that tracks," he remarks, unsurprised, "You really do tell each other everything, huh? But listen, I mean it." He pauses, skipping a beat in the melody to look her in the eyes. "Thank you." Marwa looks down, sheepish. She can't hold his gaze for long. "You don't owe me anything," she murmurs, "It's just what we do for each other." I think he's thinking about that, like he's got a thought and he's figuring out how to say it, maybe chewing the inside of his lip a bit for a sec. "I know it's not, you know, transactional," he says, a little slow, "But I feel like when someone does that much for you, especially when they have every reason not to, you still get to feel gratitude." She looks every bit as uncomfortable with his gratitude as he looks with hers. She's smiling and grateful, she just doesn't have anything to say? She looks moved, but she can't come up with a quip back, can't really form sentences, so she just nods. "You look amazing tonight, by the way. Don't think I said anything earlier." She's dodging his eye contact, cheeks burning. It's giving the same expression as when he whipped out those romantic lines from way back, speechless and trying not to be. He's chasing her gaze like she did in Midnight when he was being all hesitating. He recognizes her fluster, and it makes him grin. "What?" he drawls, "You can't tell me I'm the first one here to tell you you look like an entire sky full of stars coalesced into a person." Marwa opens and shuts her mouth once, then says, "Well, no. Not in so many words. I forget sometimes what a silver tongue you have, gotta watch myself with you." She gives a quiet laugh "Hm, maybe I'll try fewer then. Marwa, você é uma visão." "I don't know what you said but if it's that I'm fabulous and gorgeous and the best ever, then yes, I agree." Looks like she's collected herself a little bit, enough to throw out snark, but he can absolutely tell he threw her off her game He laughs. He likes snarking with her about as much as flustering her anyway. "Close enough. I could always teach you a bit, you know. If you wanted." "Oh! Sure!" Genuine happiness. Followed up with a teasing smirk, "Teach me, oh wise nerd!" She grins "Can we start with the curse words?" A smirk, "You realize you'd have only my word what you're actually saying." A dramatic hand on her chest, mouth agape. "Are you telling me, good ser, that you'd LIE to little old me? But I'm just an innocent maid." He snorts, fondly incredulous. "Who made up a campfire game, and didn't cut you that one time?" she continues to protest. "Oh no, I trust you to Baator and back. Anytime." She smiles, dropping the jest. "We can trade, if you want. I could teach you Aurian- wait, you were able to read Amir's journal!" Switches to Aurian, "<Do you already speak Aurian, you little sneak?>" Mika startles when she points out the journal, but there's zero comprehension on his face when she switches languages. "Oh." Like he realizes that she's clocked a disconnect there, then kind of abashed smile "I mean, yeah; that was reading. I don't speak a single word, but that last bit sounded like something I might get familiar with if you decide to continue - I assume - upbraiding me in it." She lets out a big laugh, "Then we'll trade. You teach me your word for things, and I'll teach you mine. Deal?" Grin, wide, reaches his eyes. "Deal!" Mirage grins back, a smile that softens as a comfortable silence takes over. She's lost in his eyes, inkwells in the low light, letting the strings carry her through the steps, one hand tethered on his steady shoulder, the other loose on his waist, the silk fabric of his shirt smooth under her fingers. That suit is doing him nothing but favours, even without the jacket. It's cut in sharp, clean lines and the candlelight is illuminating his warm brown skin. He's a vision. She lets the rest of the ballroom fade away. She has always been able to float but she definitely feels like she is now, even with her feet on the ground. Her cheeks are warm, her chest is light. The song ends far, far too soon. Mirage is thoroughly twitterpated. She's been dancing with people all night long, but anybody who's still around would see her really happy here, and her parents are like oooooooo those are some rosy cheeks girl I think when the dance is done, she'd ask if she can give him a quick hug. "Hug? Yea or nay?" He gets an exclamation mark over his head, like he's startled by the request. not upset, but surprised "I mean - sure?" he hasn't finished the sentence and she's wrapped her arms around him he has a second of like, being-hugged but arms are not connected yet before he'll relax and hug you back. "Thanks for the dance." smile "That's my line." sticks her tongue out at him He laughs, "No but really, Abrigado. I know you were tired." "Mika Oliviera, I say this here and now in front of witnesses. I will dance with you any day, any time. I love dancing." "Careful now. If it's like that, I'm going to have to get the boss to recruit a bard." "There's one right over there." she points to Lydia, who's still holding court with a handful of guests, and who certainly clocked the colour on her daughter's face. So Lydia waits for the band to wrap (most of them) and then takes the stage, I think with her wind powers she doesn't need a lot of backup instruments; her voice is the main feature. And as she gets started, more people will wander in from the other rooms to the sound. I don't know that Mika has a musician's ear, he can clock a beat and likes to dance, but he doesn't play anything, and I don't know that he's in the habit of just listening to music, but he definitely understands why she's famous now, even if he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain why it's good. She's singing the song she was working on earlier. Cri already thought it was good, but Lydia did indeed fix her frustration with the bridge, and now it's perfect. I think this is a relatively common way the Noors wrap a party. When she finishes, there's applause of course, but also people start cleaning up a bit. like no one's being hustled out but people start saying goodbyes and goodnights, and those who linger are like, chatting on couches, waiting for rides etc, not partying; its a wind-down signal. I think Saeldor definitely is moving around to say bye to folks they met because absolutely they connected with literally everyone they talked to Ta'lok maybe made a couple new acquaintances who get a "good meetin you", too probably former adventuring buddies of Julius and Alejandro's. Jadeira finds Marwa again and re-expresses her gratitude and admiration for the "perfect a-plus no-notes exactly-right way she handled the situation on the Jade Fury "Thank YOU Jadeira, I owe you one." and promises she'll mail ship schematics as soon as she's got them transferred from cocktail napkin to proper sheets "Don't forget to give Asmira my love!" double thumbs-ups Mirage goes upstairs and screams into her pillow
feel like she waits untnil she knows he's in his room, probably saying her goodbyes to party homies, then goes to her own room and gets in jammies and heads toward his room via connected balconies. they're used to sneaking in each other's windows. he's probably at the provided desk, looking at one of the ciphers she brought along but not seeing it. she sees his light on and busts in. "No rest for the wicked?" He's startled, but as soon as he clocks who it is he just kind of rolls his eyes and says "well, you'd know. Too wired to trance yet?" "Kind of. Just saw your light on, thought I'd interrupt whatever you were doing. You're not working on those puzzles NOW, are you?" "You'd prefer I work on them during Social Activities?" "I just assumed you'd be asleep. What's got you all twisted up?" He squints for a millisecond. Realizing that Shiv doesn't know. Trying to figure how she'd react. She's not got the "oh you poor thing" vibe, but that doesn't mean she'd let it go easily. "Just wired, I guess" "Ahuh." He's turned sideways in the chair to face her at this point, leaning one arm on the desk. "If you came looking for an accomplice I gotta say I don't think it'd be a great idea to burn, tag, or therwise deface anything in this particular location." "Yeah, no. I'm not an idiot, Mika. Just came to see if you think you're gonna make it to the end of summer," she says, with a knowing smirk Tired sigh, drags his hands down his face. "I don't guess it's too late to renegotiate?" "Not backing out, are you?" "Seems only fair, since you backed me in" "Coward." He flinches. "It's not like that." "Wait really? You're gonna renege? I saw you two dancing tonight, I thought - what's the deal?" He's looking away, thinking hard/fast. "I don't- look I'm not trying to front like I don't care about her. I do. A lot. And if this was what, three years ago? There'd be no need for you to hound me like this I tell you what. But it's really not that simple anymore." "You're really going to sit here and talk yourself out of something good. Something we both know you want." "Have you considered that what I want might be the most disgustingly selfish shit that ever bore speaking?" "I'm not talking myself out of something good, I'm talking myself into not being an asshole for a change." "That doesn't even make sense, you sound like you're some martyr, protecting her from some cursed shit." Exasperated sigh. I think he's looking at her thinking about every time one or the other of them have been low and gone straight to the other. It's so fucked up that his best friend doesn't know what's going on, but he's still scared to give her even a single breadcrumb if the trail leads to the crap in his head. "Shiv... cursed doesn't even start to describe it. I'm not wired. I just don't sleep anymore." "What." "Yeah. Counted sheep and everything. Saeldor tried a sleep spell. Didn't take. Handy for standing watch. And I don't have to dream anymore, which is a big plus by itself." "What the fuck? Why?" (So I think they were still wrking at the library together when he first started being able to do some magical stuff. It was benign things then; a sixth sense, an uncanny ability to read anything written down, deflecting divinations, the distortion thing. she was studying wizardry, and his stuff was cantrip level, but it was cool he figured it out on his own. She probably also figured him for sorcerer, just with an unclear catalyst) "Learned a new trick or two. May have bit off a tad more than I can chew." "Wait - wait, are you actually cursed? Warlock, or some shit?" "It's probably both if I'm being logical about it." a half-hearted fingergun because bi joke. "What the fuck. I am literally studying to be a wizard, asshole. We could have studied together, practiced together, if you wanted magic." He shakes his head, emphatic. "I didn't go looking for this. I was perfectly happy being a mundane RA." I think he's conflicted because explaining how it started seems like a pretty high ranking infohazard. "I went with 'sorcerer' for a long time because there wasn't anything outside my own head I could attribute it to. I really thought I'd figured those first spells out on my own." The bitterness in his voice, 'like a naive idiot' is unspoken, but unmistakably present. "Obviously I was mistaken. Nothing's free in this world. I just didn't realize the bill was so high until it came due." she just plops down on his bed and frowns. "So what are you doing about it?" He chuckles. "You sound like Pai." But then he's thinking, a pause before he speaks again, sober. "Well, not nothing. I haven't found a lot of viable options, but I've been looking for over two years now." She makes a face in sympathy "Marwa proposed stabbing, but I don't think it's particularly stabbable." "I love her. Seriously though if you won't date her, does that mean I get to?" I think he laughs, but then he shakes his head. "Wouldn't that just be ironic as hell. If I wasn't such a selfish moron I'd honestly say go for it. "You're going to think I'm being flip but honestly I"ve narrowed down my options to either finding a way to wipe my own memory, total clean-slate, or the other thing with reasonable odds is a literal Wish. I'm not- I don't think I'm ready to give up just yet. But this isn't a new line of research for me." "...okay. Can I be working on stuff at the library while you're out here, wooing your lady?" He rolls his eyes to the back of his skull, but she keeps talking. "Give me a direction." He opens his mouth, then closes it again. He hates how many people are in on this mess, how naturally it follows from reaching even a little bit towards another person. He wants to tell her everything an keep her safe at the same time and doesn't know how to do both "Mirage wants to stab it, that means you've told her all this? What did she have to say?" "most of it. She wants to try the Wish thing. I told her go for it. Safe enough for her to chase a fairy-tale." "Her mother is a literal djinni." I think he'll realize he's not caught her up on his part and give her the short version of the cognitohazard deal "Ah. That's important part of all this." He nods "Well fuck." "Never could resist a mystery." "You planning on asking the Noors? I'm happy to do whatever I can from Midnight but it seems like these guys have resources to spare." "I definitely wasn't, it's bad enough how many people are looped in on this bullshit, but Marwa beat me to it." "These people are like, mad transparent." "Must drive you nuts." she chuckles He doesn't. I think the lack of total transparency between him and his parents rested easier before his adventures. "Shiv can I talk to you? "We're literally talking, but sure." "I'll be real, I don't know how much is too much in terms of hazardous intel. nods "If you could just scooch. Two feet to the left. That'd be so much appreciated." Shiv rolls her eyes and inches closer to Rose, who's asleep on his bed, gives her pats. "Thank you." He swallows. Thinks for a second before speaking again. "You ever done mushrooms? Or I don't know, similar?" "Sure, couple times. Why?" "You ever see stuff when you're high?" "Or hear it? Feel it?" "Yeah. That kid Beni and I got fucked up that one time, remember I told you about it after? Looked like stuff was growing out of dad's head, sprouted a few extra eyes." "Really fucked." "Tell me about it." "Cold sober over here and let me tell you it's a lot easier to focus when you're not sitting in whatever the fuck that mess of bones and bile is on the other end of the bed right now." I think she points to the spot he's describing He nods She runs her hand through the air he grimaces. "Could you not-?" strained "Ope. Okay. Huh. Been there the whole time?" "Yeah." "Okay. Um. Maybe this is the wrong question to ask, but have you tried poking it? Can you feel it, too?" "Visuals are new. Ish. It's been tactile for a while. I'm getting better at tuning out. Occasionally it's something actually happening and I probably look like a spacey idiot, but whatever." "Explains why you showed up to town looking like you were scared of your own shadow. So the options are memory wipe, or Wish, at this point?" "That's all I've got it narrowed down to. I'd explain why but, y'know, hazard." "Sure, sure." "Tried curse removal stuff already. Went to proper clerics and everything. I've had it on several pretty good authorities that I'm not cursed, not literally anyway. Or... possessed." He's talking slower, trying to parse out safe things he can say. He seems to be running out of them "Alright, alright. I get why you stayed away, then." He looks down. "Shiv I never should have left." the weight on his voice "Well duh, but here we are. And honestly neither of us would be here in this swanky mansion if you hadn't, so what are you gonna do. Unless time travel is part of your repertoire?" "Oh, yeah, time travel's technically something that could work if it's a thing, too. But about as complicated as Wish magic, in terms of not just creating new problems. But no, not a thing I can do. "Most of my stuff is... not anything I'm willing to demonstrate to a friend. Well, any more than I already have, I guess." thinking back to the library mission. She definitely saw things react to his spells there, though lsince his casting is so internal it's hard to suss out the cause-effect part. like he looks at a thing and his eyes white out and it starts screaming or reacting weird "Okay. Well. Like I said, I'll do some digging at the Library for instances of pact-breaking, see what I can find out. Let me know what you've already found so I don't cover old ground." He looks like he really wants to tell her not to but he's seen her dig her heels in before. "Oh - make sure I'm around if you decide to tell Marwa to steer clear of you for her own safety. I want a front row seat." He laughs, an actual laugh, at that. "She's really got me between a rock and a hard place." "Awful place to be, for sure." it's half-empathy and half-sarcasm, like acknowledging his predicament but also being like, "bitch we all saw her blush get outta here" I think he's quiet for a sec, thinking. He doesn't want to sound any more self-pitying than he probably already does. because he doesn't feel self-pitying. In his mind he's being rational, he's dealing with waht's in front of him, not sugarcoating. But part of that means admitting that, unless something comes out of left field, all signs point to that he can't offer a partnership right now, let alone anything ending in an 'ever after.' I think he thinks of going after her as seeking some company on the way out, more than anything else, which is why he calls it selfish. but he knows Shiv won't let him say something like that She can read the resignation on his face. "Up to you, but she's not an idiot, and she should probably have a say in who she spends time with." "Choices should be informed." He says it quietly. I'm trying to think timeline-wise, how much Siobhan knows about his family situation. I think Melody was new in his and saulo's lives when he started at the Library. She probably heard a bit about his distrust, his worry that they'd both have to go through being left behind again I'm wondering if she can clock how much he is absolutely appalled at the idea of being the catalyst of that kind of pain I think his biological mom left without notice. Just fucking dipped. He'd say she was never really there to start with. It'd debatable how much of that is rewriting history to reconcile something hard to explain. But I think he knows that, especially in the wake of a Compulsion, just disappearing one day is on the list of things he might do, whether he intends to or not. which is basically like, pulling back isn't going to make either of you stop caring about each other. it's going to hurt just as much now, pre-anything concrete romance-wise, as it would later, Like you're both alraedy in it, dude I don't think she shares his romantic sensibilities but she knows you can't talk yourself out of that kind of thing. You shoot your shot and it hits or it doesn't. that was 100% the way he operated when they knew each other before, anyway "I don't know, dude. Seems like you both might be in this a little too far to back out now. That fey asked her to dance and you flipped your shit. I bet she's just as dumb when you're in danger." He thinks about her talking about using herself as bait, and can't really refute it. She gets up and heads back to the balcony "Hey shiv?" "Yeah?" He looks for words a sec. I think he's caught between thanks, telling her she's right, telling her how fucked up it is that they ever got so out of touch. I think he settles on "Missed you." "You too, asshole." Half-smile. Tired, not completely at-ease, but real. Then he lets her go.
Report Date
02 Apr 2025
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