SWIFT: A Heightened Discussion of Height

(Text for possible inclusion into The Cat, Crow, & Knitten Show - Vol. 2)


"Okay, gang," Crow tells them, "We need to find a swift and hopefully quiet way for us all to get up and through that opening while not garnering any unwanted attention. Anyone have ideas?"

Piklok suggests, "Hmm, what if we were to scale the wall?"

"Ooh!" Cat hops up and down with excitement. "Do you have something quick and thief-y, like a motorized grappling hook? One that fires through the air, forcefully latches into the wall, and then we can all just zip up the wall real fast?"

He looks at her, with head askew. "A what? No, I have a normal grappling hook that you have to hand-toss up for it to catch on something sturdy and then climb up, not something kooky from your fantasy mind, Cat. But, uhh, you may have a point that it's not going to get us individually all up there very fast."

Sonarina quips, "All it would need do is get your sorry behind up there."

Not having been focused on what Sonarina said, Crow admits, "Hmm, the same would apply to my Critter Netter model 2. The net wouldn't be able to handle all our collective weight. Plus, it would be more challenging to catch it on something like a grappling hook could. What else? Sonarina? Could you --"

Sonarina shakes her head in disgust. "Naw way. Don't be askin' me to lift all a' your --"

"No, not that," Crow stops her. "I was going to ask if you could fly just the net up and attach it somehow. Then we could use both that and the grappling hook at the same time to climb faster."

Sonarina rolls her eyes and says, "Why don't you wing yourself up there, Crow. No doubt, Cat be doing the same, with her powers. Only one here dragging us down is this flightless monkey." She motions to Piklok.

He retorts, "Hey, it's not my fault that weasels don't sprout wings!"

"Just more proof of your uselessness, Picknose."

"Speak for yourself, Dullarina."

"Bring it, weasel. I'll slice you to ribbons."

"What? I was just returning the name calling."

Knitten wails, "Please, stop fighting, both of you! Can't we all just get along?"

Sonarina and Piklok stop spouting insults for the moment, but continue to glare intently at each other.

Crow asks, "Cat, is there something you could maybe do with your imagi-- No, wait! I mean, with your… creative powers? *Whew* I almost triggered the trance, uhh, the show thing we do that I still haven’t figured out why it happens. Is there anything you could conjure up to help us?"

"Hmm. What about a ladder to reach the opening?"

Crow and Piklok nod their heads in agreement with this idea while Sonarina and Piklok never break their staring grudge match, as though looking away even for a second would mean admitting defeat.

Cat continues, "I could decorate it with a flowery design, or maybe create it out of yummy, twizzly licorice sticks to make it more fun! Or, I could create a slide and we could all slide up that to the top. Ooh, maybe a twisty slide."

Piklok scoffs, "*Pffbbt* What?! You can't slide upwards. Gravel has magnetic powers that keep us from rising in that direction. Everyone knows that!"

"Let her try," Crow says. "If she thinks it can be done, I don't doubt it with the things I've seen her do."

Sonarina narrows her eyes at Piklok. "Yeah, Flea Brain, let Cat girl do her thing. She's better at it than you ever are."

"Shut up, Bat Breath! I thought we were done with the insults!"

Cat senses Knitten's sadness returning and chooses to intervene. "Enough! Both of you!" She creates a solid brick wall and a sound absorbing barrier between Piklok and Sonarina, not quite tall enough to break their gaze, but enough to startle them both. "You're tearing this group apart. And besides, we're making way too much noise if we were ever trying to be stealthy in the first place, I don't recall. Crow?"

Crow is too busy resting his forehead on his hand to give a proper reply.