Something Different from Kaide to Magdalena

Teacher,   Heiassa shared part of your last letter with me. Adrift, my spirit has lost its anchor and though gentle, the waves around me move without rhythm. In your words, I've glimpsed a shore my heart trembles to row for.   At some point, not only did I fail you, I disappointed you. I no longer remember what it was that I did, but the way you looked at me when we last spoke… at the time, I understood. Now that memories have faded, all I'm left with is the scorn in your eyes.   Towards my other self, your words have praise and respect. Towards me, the feeling of disappointment mingles with anger that I no longer understand.   This magic I've wrought, the changes in myself are larger than I imagined. The water that calls to me is no longer the briny depths of the sea. It's the soft subtle mist that wraps round the trees in darkness and early morning. My nose clings to the scents of soft loamy soil and my ears crave the quiet burble of streams and fountains.   More and more, I'm neither the fragment of a wrathful Empress nor the Young Mistress of an Osyr family. I'm becoming something different.   If you're willing, I'd like to be something different to you as well.   Your obedient student,
Kaide