Moenen

Non-Canon Article

Alright folks, you've seen the intro docs that Moenen wrote for our newbies and tourist runners. We figured it was more than fair to have someone write about Moenen in return. So here's a runner that has worked with him multiple times, and who quite frankly is hard to miss. I present to you, the lovingly snarky Grutte Bente.
— Vrouw Holle
  Let's just get straight to the point. Moenen is an asshole. He's a useful asshole, but he's an asshole nonetheless. He taunts, ridicules, makes fun of people to their faces, and if he ever showed his own, chances are people would blast it off. But I'm pretty sure that nobody has seen his face in the past decade or so, so that's never going to happen.   Now, quick introduction round. I'm Bente, I'm a Giant, and I have been running in the Amsterdam shadows for about fifteen years now. In my years here, I've seen a lot of arrogant assholes around, so trust me when I say, Moenen is a big one.  
Why do I feel like she's referring to the Frisian?
— Simple Tom
Because she is. I know her group occasionally works for him.
— The Flying Dutchman
Date of Upload
03-02-2083
Author
Grutte Bente
Status
Verified
Children


Moenen

Metatype
Human (?)
 
Allegiance
Himself
Profession
Fixer, Infobroker
 
Personality
Twisted


Moenen presents himself as an infobroker, who can sell you info or do some legwork for you. If you want more than what he offers, he always knows who to connect you to. For a price, of course. For us folks in the UNL shadows, that includes things like safehouses, guns, armour, and so on. Basically anything you need to stay safe when things go south.   If you need a favour and he charges you money? Good. That means he hasn't decided to get his fangs into you. Yet. It's when he asks for favours in return, that you need to become wary. Because at that point, you have arrived at his second business. See, the devil's in the details. Literally. His name is an alias of the Devil, and that moniker fits him to a tee. If you make a deal with him, you're going to be stuck with him for a long time.

Raise your hand if you know anyone who actually managed to pay off their debt to Moenen.
— Jantje van Leiden

That's what I thought.
— Jantje van Leiden



When it comes to favours? Moenen is a loanshark. He charges you a massive interest, more if you're an evil bastard. Even the Devil has standards, apparently. But on the upside, he is an honourable man. He keeps his word, he doesn't cheat you, he makes sure you know you're tied to him forever. If you make that deal, he owns you and you know it. So what do you have to lose? Souls are overrated. Hell, you wouldn't be in this business if you had one.  
Ouch.
— Simple Tom
Ayup.
— Vrouw Holle
Fair enough.
— The Frisian




I know at least half a dozen people that owe Moenen favours. Two others, I suspect as much but I also think they almost cleaned their slate. Something they're stuck with. See, Moenen hangs onto that last call, making sure they know that at any point, their comm might ring with the message they dreaded for years. Because once he gets leverage, he won't let you go.

And he makes sure to remind you.
— Jantje van Leiden
 

At the same time, as much as he's a sadistical asshole, he's still a decent guy. He won't offer a devil's bargain unless it's a fair trade. And he absolutely protects the privacy of his clients, both those that pay him and those that signed themselves away. He'll happily spread lies about you, sometimes sell truths about you, but he won't violate that Fixer-Client privilege, no matter what. As long as you don't cross him, that is.

Makes a lot of sense. Can't get favours from dead people.
— Simple Tom
 

Now that I'm done with this salespitch of sorts, let's discuss what we know about Moenen. The answer to that is very little. He runs a few dozen fronts spread over the UNL, through which desperate clients can reach him. Mostly snackbars. Keeps to himself, never meeting in person. Even his staff has never met him. And trust me, people have verified that through mindreading.   Hell, we don't even know for sure if he's a man, or a human. For all we know, he could be a Mantis spirit in the body of an elf. There's at least two hundred different background stories about him on the Helix, and at least 99% of them he either wrote himself, or paid others to spread for him. So if anyone claims they know him, take it with a heap of salt.

Wait, didn't Bente share some background info about Moenen's runner career a few years back?
— The Flying Dutchman

Did I stutter?
— Grutte Bente



Now this is getting long and I'm not getting paid by the word here, so I'm going to call it quits. Just one last thing. Perhaps one day you'll be in touch with Moenen, and worry whether he's the real thing. In that case, get in touch with me or one of the Helix admins. There's some personality quirks that Moenen has, which we don't tell folks about but that we can quickly verify his identity with. Hell, worst case, we'll just ask him directly.  
Aw it's okay, you can tell them.
— Moenen
Nice try. Vrouw Holle?
— Grutte Bente
On it. Faker traced and banned.
— Vrouw Holle




Comments

Please Login in order to comment!