Poseidon's Poisoned Tongue

Poseidon's Poisoned Tongue is the common name for a condition resulting when one consumes too much squid ink. While this pungent, salty additive gives a refreshingly bitter acid flavor to many seafood dishes, too much can have an adverse effect on people and, most especially, writers and cartoonists--those who work heavily in ink.

Symptoms vary but have been observed to include:

• Rambling rants on social media fueled by ignorant trolling and an unacknowledged fear of being a failure and a burden on society
• Over-hyped and meta-inflated drama about aesthetic matters that do not have any legitimate weight or measure on the quality of culture or the arts
• A need to recite with scorn and sarcasm a list of every foible, flaw, and inconsistency in each and every one of the poeple around you to whom you feel inferior and unfairly indebted like some sort of leech who must not only feed, but bruise in the process
• An insistent need to gaslight anyone who disagrees with you, changing the argument when your falicies are challenged and your assumptions disproven in order to assume the dominant position, usually with some form of "Dude, it was a joke!" or "Yeah, that's what I was trying to say, you just misunderstood me."
• The unrelenting need to be right about everything, all the time, and insisting that reality bend to your will despite all observable and provable evidence to the contrary--such as gravity, the path of the sun, and simple mathematics.

Various treatments exist, all with varying levels of efficacy. While the most popular seems to be simply abandoning the sufferer to the natural consequences of such a condition, other treatments employ tactics such as gentle conversation (Maybe don't be such an asshole, you're hurting my feelings.) to physical violence (Say that again and I'll knock your teeth out.)