Oozewart

Oozewart is a whole lot of trouble wrapped up in a tiny goblin. She's tough, she's cynical, and her first instinct is always violence. She's a bit of a contradiction, though - a little goblin with a messy mind but an evolving sense of duty. (Author's Note: I think I can relate to the "messy mind" thing!)

What does she look like?

She looks like a goblin... duh! She's short, especially compared to some of those tall-for-no-reason humans. But don't let her size fool you. She can throw a punch that sounds like a meat slab getting hit by a mallet. A lot of people have made that mistake and paid for it with black eyes and broken bones.

Skin: It's green (I bet you didn't see that coming!)... but it's not like one green. It doesn't look like someone grabbed a tin of their favourite green paint and chucked it over her head... there's variation there. It's scaly and tough, like a well-worn boot. If she grows her claws too fast, it rips her hardened skin, and you see little smudges of green blood. Yeah, goblin blood is green. Bet you didn't know that. Her hands are rough and calloused from all the... work she does. She walks around barefoot, with thick skin and a set of pretty grim nails on her toes.

Claws: Like most goblins, she can do that handy lil goblin trick. She can turn her regular fingernails into sharp, talon-like blades up to four inches long. They're as tough and as sharp as any dagger you'd find. This is particularly useful when killing people or opening letters.

Face: Oozewart's smile isn't just pretty to look at (okay, it's not pretty at all). It's a toothy grin that's either unpleasant or downright terrifying. Some folks say she looks like a bulldog licking stinging-nettles, which pretty much means she looks perpetually annoyed. Or "pissed off," as some would say. (Author's Note: That's me. I would say that.)

Oozewart is a compact, tough-looking goblin who's built for trouble. She's not exactly what you'd call a looker, and she doesn't get squeamish easily. After a good fight, she's usually covered in filth, but she moves like a dancer when she's in the thick of it. Which is both terrifying and oddly graceful.

Tell us about her kind and calm personality...

Her what now?

What is she like?

She is... like a goblin. She enjoys long walks in the park, moonlit strolls along the beach, and... no, wait. Hold up. That's not right.

Let's try that again.

She's a real problem-solver. Kinda. Well... ish... Oozewart would rather punch a problem in the face than just scare it away. She's learned that not every fight has to end in murder (no matter how tempting), but she still loves the taste of "guilty and evil brains" (honestly, who doesn't?? They sound DELICIOUS!). She's a "do what needs to be done" kind of goblin, and if that means chopping off a head or wiping out a whole village, so be it.

She's tough as nails and can take a serious beating... which is handy in her line of work. Assassins rarely get away without the odd scratch and bruise. (Author's Note: Wait, is she still an assassin? You'll have to read "Portal Goblin" to find out. Yeah, I know that means I've gotta finish writing it first...)

She's got all the usual goblin tricks: turning invisible, scaring folks, and growing her fingernails into razor-sharp claws. She's also got amazing hearing and night vision, even though the latter "terrifies" her because of all the messed-up stuff it reveals. Although, don't tell anyone that she gets scared, okay? Deal? She'll just deny it and no-one will believe you anyway.

What else?

Trust. Oozewart has a number of rules, and one of 'em is: "Trust no-one. Not even yourself". She's always ready for a betrayal. Although, with that said, she does occasionally get attached. I'm pretty sure that she has begun to "warm to" Wuurrm, even though he's a pest.

She's also stubborn. Like, really stubborn.

What is her favourite food?

Oozewart's favourite food is brains sucked through the victim's nose. (Author's Note: Aren't you glad you asked?)