Goblin night-vision

As you may (or may not) know, all goblins are capable of night-vision (don't confuse this with Night-Visions - note the capital letters there! I'll get to them later). So, yeah, all goblins are bloody good at seein' in the dark. It comes in handy when huntin', stealin', or just generally bein' a nuisance and/or menace. People say "never trust a goblin", and I think part of this comes from we can move around in the dark without issues. Couple that with our invisibility (that's a story for another time) and we're unstoppable... or so we'd let you believe.

But, goin' back to night-vision... it gives us near perfect vision in the dark. We can even see stuff that others can't. It don't look like it does in daylight, but it works pretty well. It does what it's supposed to. Everyfin' has a greenish tinge, which I really like. It kinda makes things look like they're covered in glowing snot. It's beautiful.

Everyfin' comes at a price, don't it? Ya know it can't have been possible for goblins to have somefin' nice and handy like night-vision and not have to pay through the bleedin' nose for it.

The price we pay for such a talent is: The Night-Visions.

Some say it's far too high a price to pay. Sometimes I agree wiv 'em.

I'm gonna write about these things real soon, but for now, all ya need to know is that they are dangerous. Just cos most people can't see 'em, don't mean they can't kill you. Over the years I've come up wiv some ways to handle these beasts, and I'll share 'em wiv you soon. The main thing you need to know is that Night-Visions are terrifyin', and ya should avoid 'em as much as possible.

Basically, seein' Night-Visions means ya gotta deal with Night-Visions.

Goblin night-vision don't just 'appen though. We need to will it to 'appen. Younger goblins often have trouble gettin' the hang of it. I remember those days well - it can be bloody tricky! And kinda dangerous. For instance, if you were to accidentally turn your night-vision on during the day, it feels like the sun is tryin' to melt your brain.

Here are some tips that young goblins are given:

1. Focus - ya may be huntin' someone down through a dark alley or somefin', but ya need to focus to turn that night-vision on.
2. Breathe - take a breath. That usually helps wiv the focus.
3. Think Dark Thoughts - in order to see in the darkness, ya need to become the darkness. I dunno... it's somefin' like that anyway. I wasn't listenin' properly durin' that lesson, but I can do it alright.

Then, ya kinda need to do the same things in reverse to switch it off again.

Remember: don't practice this in the daytime. It hurts. I once saw a goblin whose eyes melted cos he tried this. What an idiot!

No-one knows for sure where this talent came from. Some say it's magic, some say it's just a natural goblin thing. Personally, I fink it was a gift from Mortvell. As ya probably know, Mortvell is the god of death, so ya should never trust a gift from 'im. Or from any of the gods for that matter.

Some folks disagree with me on the Mortvell theory. They say that the god of death wouldn't be bovvered with how goblins can see in the dark, but they ain't seein' the big picture, are they? If we have night-vision, we see the Night-Visions. Handle an interaction with the Night-Visions in the wrong way and you'll wind up dead. Dead things make Mortvell 'appy. It makes perfect sense, don't it?

I dunno what legends you believe, but if you're a fan of the one where Mortvell's buildin' an army of dead folk to fight in the Void, then you'd fink he'll need dead folks from different sources. I'd imagine that dead goblins would make excellent soldiers... y'know, once he'd got 'em under control. Livin' goblins ain't fans of takin' orders, but ain't sure what the dead ones are like.