Windglum

What are you complaining about? Nobody asked you to come here!

- Windglummer to a Planar Traveller

Character

If any town in existence can be said to have a chip on its shoulder, Windglum's it. Its founders were sods who had been banished to this plane, and because of that their descendants have a dim view toward all outsiders.

Ruler

Lord Wilfin Strabile. Like most of the barmies in Windglum, Strabile belongs to a family that's been here for generations. But unlike most others, he actually left the plane for a time and even walked the Prime Material. While there, he made the mistake of singing a bawdy Song about a panicularly vain sorceress. Shortly thereafter he found himself transported to Pandemonium once again. The sorceress had no idea that she was sending him back to his native plane, but to Strabile, it was an omen, if a bitter one. He returned to Windglum, led a popular revolt to gain its throne, and began devoting his efforts toward making it a city that would rival Sigil in its significance to the planes. Everyone but the Windglummers knows that's a totally ridiculous idea. But Strabile just chalks up their criticisms to sour grapes.

Behind the Throne

Strabile is a popular enough personality to draw the chaotic population of Windglum together, but he doesn't have enough grasp of the politics and economics necessary to run it. Fortunately for Windglum, there's another local who does, and who doesn't mind remaining out of the spotlight. That individual is Strabile's chief councilor, Temet Rillander. As a Dustman, Rillander's a bit on the gloomy side, but he always strives to make life (remember, he'd say death) better for those he meets. Windglum gives him a great place to do that in. Here he's surrounded by the needy, and he knows just how to put a word in the right ear to make those needs met. Of course, he's still a Windglummetr, which means he's suspicious of outsiders, but he's about the most likely person in town to give visitors a chance to prove themselves.

Description

Despite the chaotic nature of its mixed bag of inhabitants, Windglum shows the evidence of some order. It lies within one of the largest caverns on the plane, one several miles in length and nearly as wide, with enormous natural columns to hold up the ceiling. The cavern is always ablaze with light, provided by hundreds of magical globes created when the town was young. At the center of the town stands the Citadel of Lords, home to the ruling family and center of government. From that point, streets radiate outward at even intervals, with cross streets winding between them as dictated by the natural rises and depressions of the cavern floor.   That's where the order stops, however. There's no apparent plan to what buildings stand where among which streets. Each family just builds where and how it sees fit. Consequently, there's hovels standing next to mansions, bathhouses next to abattoirs, temples next to gambling houses, and even buildings that straddle streets. (By royal decree, no existing street road may be blocked off or diverted.) Most of the wealthier buildings are surrounded by a hefty wall, however, both to provide security and to block the views of their squalid neighbors.   Windglum's cavern provides the town with some natural security. It has five openings into the rest of the layer, and all are small enough to be easily defensible. Each is closed by a strong gate, but the gates and gate-houses are entirely different In each case, having been built and staffed by separate families. The large size of Windglum's cavern and the relatively small size of its gateways combine to make this one of the calmer, quieter locations on the entire plane of Pandemonium.   Windglum is also a very diversely populated town, nearly as much so as Sigil, though there are fewer races from the lawful side of the Great Road. But the locals don't typically think of their citizenry as different races. Rather, they think in terms of families. When the town was originally established, each person brought a particular skill to be used for the common good, as necessity demanded. As time progressed, these services came to be associated with the person's family and descendants. Even though its no longer that way of necessity, the Windglummers are so used to the system that they'd be hard pressed to understand another.   Probably the most unifying thing about Windglummers is their attitude toward outsiders. As banished folk, Windglummers feel that the rest of the universe looks down upon them. (They do have a point there.) Consequently, they're determined to show up all outsiders as fools. Because of this, visitors to the town tend to feel they're being given the cold shoulder (and they are). Conversations stop when they enter an inn, locals glower suspiciously at them on the street, they're charged unreasonably high prices for services, and every coin they offer is weighed and inspected to make sure it's not counterfeit or shaved. In short, they're treated as unwelcome guests — or worse, as invaders.   Because Strabile has been out among the other planes of existence, and because he wants to draw more attention and trade to the town, he's constantly preaching tolerance to the townspeople and launching new programs to encourage merchants to come. But privately he's as snarly as anyone else here around outsiders.

Militia

Given its paranoia toward the outside world. Windglum maintains a very large contingent of guards at each city gate. These guards double as an internal police force, though they're seldom called for. The locals like to settle their own disagreements and usually do so with little bloodshed. Visitors to town are often followed by a guardsman or two for the first few days they're here, to ensure that they treat the locals with respect. Besides the gate guards, every adult in town is required to demonstrate proficiency with the weapon of their choice once a year. That makes this town a tough nut for invaders to crack.

Services

A cutter can buy just about any necessity here, though the prices are a bit high. Keep in mind, however, that a weapon purchase by outsiders — even a tiny bodkin — gets reported to the city guard, and they'll follow the buyers for the next few days, to make sure they don't get into trouble. The Scaly Dog inn is worth mentioning here. Visitors to town are often directed to it (usually in a commanding tone), as it caters specifically to outsiders. The landlord is Hagus Gimcrack, a recent addition to the Banished. Having been sent here by an angry mage, Gimcrack's been welcomed into the town with open arms, but he's a recent enough arrival to still be accepting of outsiders. He has reasonable prices and is free with advice to newcomers. What's more, his place is a common meeting spot for adventurers, so there are usually berks here for hire.

Local News

It's reported that there's a pair of wind-mad giant trolls wandering about in caverns not too far from town. Apparently some blasted prime wizard decided this would be a good place for them, in a typically ignorant prime way. Of more interest is a sighting of a white dragon about 50 feet long. That means there's sure to be a lair not too far away, if a basher's brave enough to look for it.