Khalida waking

Her Majesty the Queen; Khalida

Death... It was as if someone had blown out life’s candle, the light of everything in existence gone. It was hot, unbearably hot, so hot that her bare feet were melting and she could feel every nerve on fire. Her hair stuck to her back and neck by the sweat running down her. The air was thick, like you were breathing through water, slowly drowning, but never dying. However, this wasn’t even the worst of it. It was the feeling of being completely alone. Alone in your hopeless struggle and alone in death, but not quite. The only sounds heard were that of voices in the darkness swallowing her. One by one, she could recognize every single voice. They were the voices of those she’d wronged, those she’d killed. Every. Single. One. There were thousands of them, whispering in unison, telling her something.

 “You’re next,” they taunted her, some even laughing. She tried to cover her ears, but her fingertips were gone. Burned off. All she could think of was to get rid of the whispering voices. The terrible voices kept getting louder and louder, so that she couldn't even hear her own thoughts. 

That was when she screamed. For the first time in her life, she screamed, drowning out the voices in the only way she could think of. Screaming and screaming, hours long, counting every single second. How she had not lost her voice, she had no idea, but it was the only thing that kept the voices at bay. She tried to cry, but her tears wouldn’t come. Her eyes burned, but she had to keep them open or they’d swallow her whole.

Finally, the ground cracked open, boiling, steaming water shot up like geysers, but she kept screaming. Slowly, the water enveloped her, burning away her skin, hair, eyes. She tried to keep screaming, but nothing came out. Her voice was gone, and the water overcame her.

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She shot up in bed, the bed sheets soaked with her sweat, and screamed. The tears began to well up in her eyes and she welcomed them. It felt so relieving to cry, to let it all out. It was that same nightmare, that memory that haunted her. For the most part, she had gotten rid of the night terrors, but every once in a while, when stress was on the rise, they’d torment her again.Taunting her.

Khalida was the name she gave herself. She was immortal. No. She is immortal. Ever since that day when she’d taken her life into her own hands. How old was she now? At least a seventy, probably more than that, but she started over counting once she pretended to reach twenty twenty-nine, ten years ago. It made sense, because her body hadn't aged a bit since that day. So now she just told people she was thirty-nine. There was only one person in this world who knew of her secret, and she would do anything to silence him. She had entrusted him with the knowledge of her seemingly immortal existence and he had used it against her and blackmailed her. So now he would pay with his life. She had been trying for the past seven years to find him. The person who ruined her life by making her live on the edge. 

Now you might think, why would an immortal person fear a mortal? The answer is not quite as simple as most things. The fact was that Khalida feared death. Though it came in handy that she knew her body was immortal, this didn’t necessarily mean she couldn’t be killed, though she had never tested the theory. Perhaps she was a coward, perhaps not. In her own opinion, no one in their right mind would experiment with something as fragile as immortality. If she did actually die, how would she benefit from it?  No. Not that, she hated the thought of that; she had tasted the eternal darkness and she never wanted to go there again. Once, that day, she had a glimpse of what waited for her at her demise and she would do everything in her power to never see that happen.

Now, you might wonder why no one attended her, why no handmaids were at the side of their queen. It was for this exact reason. She was aware she screamed in her sleep when she had the terrors, so she had all her maids moved to another mansion, on the other side of her winter estate. 

She had thought everything through. If they heard her, rumors would spread fast and just like that she’d lose her following. She needed everyone who worked under her to fear her; that was the only way to control power.

He was the first to oppose her, he never feared her, never flinched at her commands. That was only the beginning. After him, that wretched child gave her that same look. She wasn’t going to let that ordeal happen again. Which is exactly why she put that child in his place. However, things didn’t exactly go to plan. Well, she wouldn’t have any of that, so obviously she sent him off until she could dispose of him without him interfering with her plans. Even her own daughter had abandoned and betrayed her and it was all his fault.

Just thinking about the man made her blood boil. 

“Stop it.”  She told herself. Thinking about it only made it worse, she knew this from experience. 

Getting up off the bed, she carefully walked through the dark room over to her vanity desk, sat down, and began to brush her hair. She looked into the mirror, the darkness blurring her features. She had worked on her appearance for years. With a body that didn’t age, she was always able to appear young and beautiful. However, what lay beneath her young complexion was a mangled heart. A black, lifeless heart that was broken and put back together with spare parts. Most of the time, she was dull to the cries of the weak humans, but every once in a while, she was reminded of her own humanity by various flashbacks, haunting her still. She’d lived long enough to hide it for the most part. She was a people person, and knew how to manipulate people any way she wanted. People were so easy to trick, especially if you’d been doing it for as long as she had. 

One thing she’d noticed over these last years was that there was a way to tell who was manipulatable–and who wasn’t. You could tell by their light. Everyone was the same except the bright people. People who had an inner light in their soul that guided their judgment. It was something she was quite jealous of, but could no longer obtain. 

You see, her soul was dark, emptied of all light. She once had a light, at least she thought she did, but she rejected it, ripping it out of her soul and choosing the darkness. She knew what fate awaited her, for her sins were many and her light had long since vanished.