Hardy Hardtack

Storm Fare

A Tale Lived Aboard Every Ship In A Storm

The storm's winds were strong. The waves rose like great hills that the Moonwaker climbed with straining sails and ropes so taut they hummed haunting tunes. Crossing each wave peak sent the pirate ship racing down a slope of water so steep that stomachs were pressed against backbones even as deck hands heaved their all on the bow wings, small sails used to catch wind and lift the bow of their ship to prevent it from diving to their watery graves.   They battled wave after wave, taking turns in shifts. Below deck, those not on duty rested in cold misery that grew worse when Roundy the Cook announced, "It's too rough fer cooking.

Hardtack and cold tea's all yer getting."   Groans echoed through the ship. "My guts can't take that ground-up rock!" A pirate complained as he took one of the thin, brick-like crackers and passed the basket to the next fellow.   "Best to have something keeping yer stomach in place with all this storm tossing going on," an older pirate wisely advised.   "Aye, hardtack keeps the puking away," another pirate added and bit into his cracker. The crunch that followed echoed through the ship.

  Hardy hardtack is baked aboard every ship that's ever been at sea, and though it's far from the best meal a sailor, or pirate, could have, it certainly provides a means to stave off hunger as it takes time to be digested. The hardtack also wards off puking by quelling unsettled stomachs, often by sitting like a food anchor until it's digested. To not serve hardtack is said to jinx a ship. Any cook who cannot make it may find themselves walking the plank.   Every cook swears the ingredients, when cooked right, are magic. The stone rye, a rye flour ground by marble stones, is believed to give the hardtack its crunchy strength and long-lasting storage ability, while the sea salt, after a pinch is tossed over a shoulder during mixing, is what really keeps the puking at bay. True or not none can say, but the hardy hardtack always delivers its crunchy, gut-settling, and hunger-defeating promise.