The First Elven Liqueur
An Acquired Taste
"I knew Elven alcohol was supposed to be strong but this is just fucked up."
Golkun is a rather obscure name in the realm of Elven alcohol, at least in regards to the fact that it's still made today. It's an extremely strong, extremely bitter, and extremely thick herbal liqueur that is better known as "that alcohol that was so strong it killed a guy". If you could believe it, this reputation was earned after the alcohol ended up being so strong it killed a guy. "That guy" being a long forgotten Hashira of Yasurun; and the following legend being his only real legacy.
The Hashira's Grief
Long ago in an age not bothered to be recorded in history, the Hashira of Yasurun was met with a terrible affliction. He had found himself with the complete inability to become intoxicated, a downright demonic tolerance, and he yearned to once again be under the influence.
He gathered every brewer, alchemist, herbalist, and witch to the palace to concoct what he hoped would be the strongest alcohol physically possible to them; a liqueur, to be exact, loaded with sweeteners to try and ease what would no doubt be an unpalatable flavor.
The result was a drink that wasn't even remotely sweet in any possible metric. He ignores the warnings of his constituents and takes a sip of what could only be described as a pitch-black, almost syrup-like schlop.
Denial
The disgust was almost instantaneous. A sudden recoil that turned to gagging that turned to coughing and retching and a very evident seizing of his throat.
Once recovered, to everyone's immediate dismay, he begins to take another sip. Despite the same reaction repeating again and again, he desperately proclaims that it simply must be an acquired taste.
Anger
It isn't long before he gives up on sipping this concoction in vain. This essentially wasn't even what he asked for. What followed was a damn near draconic level crashout, one so explosive, so profound, that it is said his screams could be heard from the gardens outside of the palace.
Bargaining
Blinded by rage and delusion, he makes a rather unhinged offering. He decides to drink the rest of his glass out of spite; proclaiming that whoever was responsible for the drink's creation, should they both reveal themselves and drink the remaining supply of liqueur, may or may not be spared from the impending retribution. Otherwise, everyone involved would be forcibly put into the remaining barrels of liqueur and left to age. (Otherwise known as "executed via fermentation").
Depression
What follows is a long, arduous minute of uninterrupted chugging, gagging, retching, and more chugging; everyone present looking onward in stunned awe and ever-growing dread. Silence. The Hashira only sits in place and stares down at his now empty glass, expressionless, damn near breathless. Much to everyone's confusion, he has gone catatonic. Tears begin to stream down his miraculously flushed cheeks. He sobs.
Acceptance
They're quiet at first, almost whisper-like even in the dead silence of the throne room, but they slowly raise in intensity and frequency. Before long they start to shift, first to giggling, then to chuckling, then to laughter to cackling and finally to a thunderous howling. He screams at the top of his lungs. "IT WAS AN ACQUIRED TASTE!!!"
He sits down atop his throne with gusto, immediately pouring himself a second glass of the accursed brew. But before he is able to take his sip, he slumps forth in his seat. Quiet, unresponsive, dead.
Bonus Lore
In the Present-Day
To the surprise of many, Golkun is in fact still made today. Grant it, in a significantly weaker form, but still made and still virtually unpalatable nonetheless.
A Cult Following
Despite its reputation, the drink does indeed have a dedicated following for Elves who wish to not remember the next week or so of their lives.
A Longing for its Return
Funnily enough, there is a vocal subset of this drinker-base who adamantly advocate that the original recipe ought to be unearthed and revealed one of these days; believing whole heartedly that the Hashira who originally tried it was just a bitch.
All the art is made by me unless labled otherwise!
This visuals in this piece take it over the top and beyond. This is so much fun!!
Thank you!!!
While I would love to go on an adventure, writing them is enough for me.