Courtship Rituals

The social codes around courtship evolved out of male "peacock" behavior dating back to time immemorial, slowly building on top of each other. The sparring match is the oldest known custom, although Stenza are a social enough species to settle for one clear victor without the loser being killed in the contest. Developing perhaps concurrently was the method of allowing friends to screen potentials. Before Unification, this carried a lot of "clan alliance" implications, and shortly afterward it helped to bolster the newly-formed Stenza nation. Currently such a thing is no longer necessary, but the tradition persists.   Building on the "screening" process are a complex and ever-changing series of social rules, based primarily on the reputations of the individuals involved. For example, a brave soldier or skilled doctor would make an excellent partner, but dating an exile is steeply frowned upon (but not illegal). These rules have always had an interesting relationship with the chain of command in individual clan forces and later in the Stenza army more broadly, but the key thing to remember is that Stenza emphasize competence, so much so that the idea of an officer having any long-term power over anyone else rarely holds up under scrutiny.   Often, however, individuals look outside their clan for potential partners, so belonging to the same unit rarely comes up (and the health of potential pups is not as compromised as it could be through inbreeding). This has fluctuating taboo status, but is a generally accepted custom regardless.

The vast majority of Stenza matchmaking is done by proxy, and this takes two forms. In the first, an individual will notice someone else who appeals to them, and ask their blood sibling, litter mate, or other close friend to introduce them. In the second, these third parties know of someone the party in question might be interested in or attracted to, and make the introduction without being asked (for example, this is how Tzim-Sha introduced Ta'zhen and Testho). Although the idea of being introduced by a third party has echoes across time and space, the Stenza flavor includes a unique detail: the sparring match.   The sparring match is initiated by the close friend, litter mate, or blood sibling solely to demonstrate that the romantic hopeful is cunning and clever in combat. Victory in the match has absolutely no bearing on romantic success, as the goal is to show off the flashiest moves and combinations that one knows in hopes of impressing a potential partner. There is some evidence that historically the role of impressing was held almost exclusively by men, but in the modern era anyone of any description can vie for attention in this manner.   From here there are several different paths a relationship can take, most of them female-led. There might be a one-night stand, with full expectation that both parties will move on (often within the same mating season), or a sort of getting-to-know-you period between the couple. There are also instances where two people have known each other for some time but one party's litter mates or blood sibling thinks it could head in a romantic direction, and arranges things accordingly, where "getting to know you" is skipped but a proper marriage may be more likely. (It should be noted that third parties looking to hook up their various friends and cousins should strive to find a partner that is compatible, "sharing values and ambitions", as Tzim-Sha might say. This is less necessary for a one-night stand or similar brief arrangement, but still considered ideal to prevent heartbreak.)   It is widely and deeply considered extremely improper to approach a prospective romantic partner yourself with those intentions in mind. While it does sometimes happen, it's kept behind closed doors and as far away from the Collective Knowledge as physically and psychically possible. (Note, however, that becoming romantically involved with a friend due to later realization and third party intervention is permissible.)

Besides the parties looking to hook up for the night, or longer, the key role goes to blood siblings and close friends (such as litter mates), who serve as wing persons in the initial stages of the affair. They read the room, look into potentials, consider questions either party might be asking (for example, if the other wants to have children), and so on. Occasionally they will also operate as informal matchmakers, if their assessment is their buddy needs to get laid.