Today is Erend's Birthday

Today is Erend's birthday.   Well,   It's both of ours,   But I always celebrate mine the week before, so this day can be just for them.   I don white sleeves and a sun veil   And make one last call to Lily and Matt to make sure they remember the time.   I'm packing lunch this year,   Sandwiches look more like finger foods with the bag gently pinched in my grasp   And it helps that I don't need portions for myself.   Don't forget the wreath.   Don't forget the board games.   Don't forget the cards and candles.   I set out, and the drive takes three hours   Once upon a time it only took one, but I lived in Sokolka then.   Since then I've indulged opportunities available only to me now   I wish you could have them too.   Along the way I pick up Lily and Matt   They sit two abreast    Seats for commander and gunner now barren, serve only to savor the wind as we go    City roads change to suburban, change to unpainted, change to dirt and clay    My billows cough as dust expels from my vents.   Memory as clear as they day it happened   And every year since   Tugs me from the road and into the fields.   Apologies, the torn ground will recover by next year.   The grass gets taller - all of your favorite flowers are in bloom    The field is littered with masses of metal, but today I only care about one   Hello, Erend.   Happy birthday!    Lily and Matt disembark from my hatches to yours    Flourishing bouquets laid into the compost of decades past   You've taken on quite the patina - it's a bold look - like you always were.    You're even turning green in a few spots, did you notice that?    .   I know   I know.   I lay out my gifts, I pull out lunch; we're going to be here for a while.   I missed you   We picked out a few games we thought you'd like   I'll play until everyone else gets sick of them   The longer until then, the better.   I can't help but stare, however.   You look so much different from the day it happened   But still the same.   It's still you   But you show your age   Your wear   The years    The damage   But I still see you for you through that.   The rust eats holes ever wider, eats your armor frail and brittle, but still I see you.   I see you   I love you   Please wait for me, wherever you are.   I have a feeling it will be a while.   We were supposed to see this together, you know - you promised   I wish you could   It's more beautiful than we'd imagined.   You were supposed to have so much time left   Untimely ripped.   I move on without you still.   And the world is beautiful   Lily had set out into the fields, off through the flowers where I refrain to tread further   And constructed another wreath, never minding the bugs flitting through the grass   Matt has been sketching since we’d finished playing games   And I think he’s captured your likeness well.   These gifts stay with you   Us, however, the sun is getting lower   And I was supposed to get a new headlight last week   And Lily has to feed her cats   And Matt has a big project at work tomorrow, he’s terribly excited about it.   Friends regroup, and as the air begins to chill they retreat into my hull   No need to leave the hatches open   “It can feel like the safest place on Earth,” past squadron-mates would jest on calmer nights   You and I both reveled in the sense of necessity and the affections that came with it.   I hope you can still feel it.   We have to go now, alright?   It was a lovely visit.   Goodnight.   I love you.   Happy birthday.               I love you.