Ashe's Grief

The grief of losing someone who has become special. Pushing past the tangled web of memories adapting to the emptiness. The clouds roll covering the sunny sky above him. Ashe stands on a familiar chasm decaying beneath his feet. The echoes of Kael’s footsteps going farther away.

It's a desolate soul landscape he knows far too well. Each visit is carving deeper rifts into his heart. He is truly alone for the silence amplifying the frantic heartbeat. The air hangs thick and heavy pressing down upon him. It suffocates him with the truth of Kael's absence from his life. He tastes the bitter tang of his leaving with unshed tears. Clenches his fists as his nails dig in his palms.

A wasted effort attaching himself to something solid. This is a swirling vortex of despair in his soul. Wanders through the halls of their shared memories. A stark reminder of what was, what could have been, and what now will never be. Sunlight streams in the windows painting joyful circles on the floor. The circles are taunting his inner turmoil. He dreams Kael bathed in that same light already moving on. The thought is a physical blow knocks the wind from his lungs. It has him gasping for air as if under water. Take a peek in the library to the scent of aged paper. A comfort to Ashe now it’s a suffocating reminder of their shared love of stories.

He runs a hand along the books telling a kávi of laughter and secrets. Now, they are just silent observers to his pain. Pulls out a worn copy of "Beast Tamer," a book they both cherished. Flipping the pages as his eyes blur with unshed tears. Kael's melodic voice read the passage about taming a dreno. The responsibility of the one takes on for those they've tamed. Their irony is a harsh twist of the dagger.

Had they ensured to tame each other from the wilds? Was their bond meant to be built as a strong stone? He slams the book shut echoing through the silent room. A small act of rebellion against the overwhelming despair. The despair which threatens to consume him whole. He refuses to yield by letting Kael's vanishing define him. Ashe is more than just half of a broken soul. He is Ashe, a survivor who lives on beyond his grief.

Glances out of the window at the onyx snow covered landscape. The sun is beginning to set as it casts long shadows across the land. The land is cold and unforgiving to anyone who walks it. The flip side is that it can be beautiful, resilient, and full of possibilities. Open the window taking a deep chilly breath stinging his lungs. Vowing to himself as he won’t let Kael's departure define him. He can’t let his own grief claim him or his life.

Learn to live with the pain to carry it with charm and dignity. I have to find a way to heal by rebuilding and moving on. Ashe knows it will not be easy on this path. There will be days when crushing pain torments his memories. His grief is tearing the inside causing wounds. Stands up on wobbly legs patching them showing he is not defeated. Ashe will keep fighting to strive believing in a beaming future. He is alone for now yet his soul doesn’t feel broken. A Rasen kin who will survive the tense pain. Enduring the separation of being torn in half will rise again.

He shivers when stepping outside for a kávi. His eyes sting while whispering, “Thirty years is a short bend in the river. Every heartbeat turns into an eternity of seasons.”