The Dwarf Who Wasn't, Who Was a Leprechaun, Who Wasn't Either
Summary
The legend of Noneam Onechuckle is one of the most elaborate and enduring tales in Gnomish oral tradition. It tells the story of a gnome so devoted to pranking that he maintained a false identity for nearly three decades — as a dwarf pretending to be a leprechaun. To this day, the story is cited as both a masterpiece of comedic misdirection and a deeply annoying historical event in several Dwarven communities.
The Myth Unfolds
1. The Dwarf Disguise:
Noneam adopted the persona of Thorgun Flintbucket, complete with a forged clan record, beard care regimen, and authentic-sounding grunts. His disguise was so convincing that he was accepted into Dwarven society, earned a position in a minor craft guild, and became a regular at three different taverns.
2. The "Lepredwarf" Revelation:
Following a staged fall into a mine shaft, Thorgun reemerged claiming to have remembered his true identity as a "Lepredwarf"—a mythical being of gold and riddles. He began dressing in gaudy green, leaving behind small golden trinkets, and speaking exclusively in limericks for weeks on end.
3. The Folklore Spreads:
Over 29 years, the legend of the Lepredwarf spread through the Hold. Children left offerings, miners told stories of his riddles, and scholars began publishing speculative essays. Thorgun became an accepted part of local myth, even serving as a witness in a court case and officiating a wedding.
4. The Reveal:
On the 29th anniversary of the first Lepredwarf sighting, Thorgun addressed a festival crowd, declared his true identity with a rhymed confession, and vanished in a puff of green glitter and banana-scented smoke.
“The jig is up, the beards are fake,
I’m but a gnome, for goodness' sake.
I fooled you all, and drank your beer—
I’m Noneam Onechuckle. Happy Leap-Year!”
Historical Basis
Origin
Noneam Onechuckle, a gnome born (allegedly) from a malfunctioning jack-in-the-box during a warehouse inventory disaster, was known for his love of intricate pranks, identity games, and theatrical flourishes. At some point in his early life, he decided to stage the longest-running prank in known history by infiltrating the Dwarven Hold of Barvul-Thrumm as a Dwarf named Thorgun Flintbucket, who in turn claimed to be a leprechaun.
The Legacy
Some claim he still lives, disguised as a Halfling who thinks he’s a Minotaur. Others say he became a serious scholar of prank-ritual ethics. A few insist he’s dead, having exploded from laughter while watching two dwarves argue about spoon sizes.
Spread
Told in Gnomish jesting circles, banned in three Dwarven libraries.
Cultural Reception
Cultural Impact
- Gnomes retell the story with glee, often performing it as a comedic stage play with an absurd number of costume changes.
- Dwarves of Barvul-Thrumm banned any mention of "leprechauns" in official documents.
- A new Stoneguest Law was added to the Dwarven legal code: "No individual may claim to be a Leprechaun unless vouched for by at least three clan elders, sober."
- Noneam has since become a patron figure of prank-based Gnomes, often evoked by the phrase: "Check their beard, it might be a Onechuckle."
Absolutely fantastic. From the get go the premise had me in stitches and you didn't disappoint as you laid out the story. Great work again my friend and most definitely tucking this fun little tale in my collection!