Paperlic
You reek of-- Aha! That's it! That's the answer I've been looking for! By the gods, someone bring me something to write on!Ideas do not stop themselves for anything. Whether in the shower, on the road, at the breakfast table, or somewhere actually appropriate for jotting down ideas, the bloody things will swoop out of one's mind and catch one unaware. Too often, people are caught in this situation without any access to writing implements or things to write on.
In these tragic moments, their beautiful ideas are left to dwindle and fade in the bowels of their poor memory. Such foul occurrence happening in Soniuch Zan is what spawned the invention of paperlic, a now-staple food found within every gnomish home in the small Xin-Jiyan nation.
Paperlic is, put simply, a very well-preserved slab of fruit tar that has been thoroughly doused in special sugars and treatments during the intense process of beating the fruit into shape. Easily-crafted and easily-carried, it makes for a very functional, nutritious food that is high in vitamins, fibres, and sugars. It also functions as paper, as its name might just indicate.
Paperlic is traditionally served wrapped around a liquorice stick that, in a pinch, functions as a completely functional pen, but most regular writing utensils should be functional on paperlic.
It is strongly recommended that children are only permitted to eat paperlic in moderation. They tend to eat too much.
Manufacturing process
It's really not that complicated. You're mostly just squashing and stirring.Creating paperlic has never been much of a challenge. The base ingredients are a fruit, an acidic liquid, sugar, a small array of additives, a quick-absorbing starch, and a spray of kelevnir ointment. Traditionally, blackberries, blueberries, and strawberries are the fruits used, but anything that can be made into jam is a valid choice for paperlic. Chanceberries are considered unwise to use, as their use may colour the paperlic too many different shades, making it difficult to write on.
The fruits must be blended thoroughly until smooth, and combined with sugar and the acid. Lemon juice is preferred here, as it gives a light tang as well as helping the mixture congeal into a jam. Using more powerful acids may result in unsurprising, inedible, or dangerous paperlic.
When blended, the mixture must then be cooked until thick and jam-like; this is generally done over a stove, and can take anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes depending on the stove's power. It can be done over a campfire, but stirring may need to be far more rigorous to spread heat evenly. As it becomes a jam, all other additives except for the starch must be steadily added into the mixture and stirred in until completely absorbed.
After the mixture has solidified into a jam, it needs to be spread out into the shape of the paper wanted. Those wanting precision may prefer to use molds made for this purpose, but otherwise, simply spreading it across a flat surface is enough as the edges may be trimmed later. It must be spread extremely thinly, as it shall not shrink much.
History
It's a good thing our climate isn't very hot!Paperlic was invented pretty recently in the scheme of things, coming into being only in 5452. It was the genius invention of a particularly frustrated gnome alchemist by the name of Anshi Dopplebee. Anshi was a victim of his own creativity, for the poor lad had been in the midst of developing an especially powerful formula for treating a new stomach virus that had been spreading throughout the south of Soniuch Zan at rapid pace. For just a few minutes, he stepped away from his laboratory and went to make lunch.
As he macerated some blackberries into jam, he was struck by the thought of their medicinal properties - and a lightbulb flickered in his mind. Fruits were the key! Their sugars would work against this virus, the magic he could infuse into them would hold more easily, and then his scone caught fire. It only took a moment to put it out, but that was enough for tragedy to strike.
In that moment, all of his thoughts and ideas for how to combat the virus were evaporated into a fine mist, replaced only by the pang of hunger that strummed at him as he stared at the mess he'd made of his attempt at lunch. Oh, if he'd only had a notebook to hand! He could have jotted down crumbs of his thoughts while handling the flames, and - well, there was an idea.
Preserving fruits by way of jams and the like had been popular for centuries upon centuries. With vitamins being challenging in the winter months, and with fruit expiring so quickly, there had always been a need for preservatives. Anshi had seen versions of these preserved fruits congealed and served in strips.
I was able to get my dear boy to finally do his homework with paperlic! His schoolmistress was not so impressed when he ate it in front of her the next day.
There's an important lesson to be had with paperlic that they aren't going to teach you in school. Don't bloody use it for scrolls. Magic scrolls, you dolt. Magic doesn't play well with all those sugars. Don't blame me when you try it and your Teleport spell sends you blasting into space instead!
I'm pretty sure the name is just because it's paper you can lick. Right?
I adore this concept, I simply would love it if this were real. You describe the process in its making so well and convincingly I genuinely wonder if this would work. I might need to try for science O.O could you imagine! Naturally of course kids can't be trusted to moderate sweets, I like that touch, so true to life. I was a gremlin if 'trusted' to moderate my own intake, that is very real, fantastic. The kids eating their own homework is comedic and wonderous and I can honestly picture it :P Most definitely adding this to my collection both for the amusement of the idea and potentially for later....experimentation.
(The secret is that it absolutely will work, it's just how you make fruit leathers/rollups/fruit by the foot with some tweaking. I'm a sneaky shit sometimes.) Thank you for being so lovely once again!
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