Goodbye, Carin

I first met Carin in 2016. I was playing Pokemon Go, trying to take a gym in my neighborhood. I didn't know any other players. Carin and Wendy came driving up in a car and asked if I was playing Pokemon Go. We talked a little bit. I was really excited to meet other Pokemon Go players who weren't 15 year old boys. I had the mistaken idea that it was a game played mostly by teenaged boys for some odd reason. I asked what team they were on. They were Valor and I was Instinct. I was disappointed but just happy other people really were out there.   A few days later, I was walking at Aldridge Gardens. I caught my first ever Dratini and was very excited. I ran into Carin and Wendy again. When I told them I had just caught my first Dratini, Carin told me that she knew where a full grown Dragonyte was and gave me directions to it. I continued walking and talking with Carin, Wendy was very quiet and rarely said anything. I assumed she was shy. Carin told me she thought she could get me in touch with Nick, the guy who ran an Instinct group in Birmingham.   I reached out to Nick or maybe he reached out to me, it's been so long ago I can't remember. We made arrangements to meet at Railroad Park one Saturday. I met Raliegh and Nick that day and now they are two of my best friends. Later I found out they thought I was some kind of spy which was just hilarious. Apparently Carin had a reputation of being a serious player. She was a serious player but she cared more about people than competition between Pokemon Go teams.   In the meantime, I kept seeing another Instinct player in my neighborhood whose trainer name was DukeofEarl. I kept trying to run into him but didn't until months later.   When Wizards Unite came out, I started going out with Carin, Wendy, and another friend to California Pizza Kitchen or Panera where we would eat, talk and play Wizards Unite and Pokemon GO. We became friends and learned quite a bit about each other. When I got banned from one of the Birmingham Pokemon Go servers by Kayzelle, I was really upset. The reason was ostensibly that I was using two accounts. I was using Benjamin's account even when he wasn't playing. He had dropped papa's phone and it had shattered and he wouldn't play for a long time. I intended to keep his account up to date if I could until he was ready to play again.   I talked to Carin about it and she told me that Kayzelle and Alex, her husband used to follow Carin and Wnedy all over Hoover, would wait until they took a gym down and then take it back. That made me feel a lot better.   Whenever someting happened that could have been awkward or uncomfortable, Carin always made a huge joke of it until we were all laughing. One of our friends liked to shave at Railroad Park in the bathroom. We got a big kick out of that because Carin made it funny.   She was a labor lawyer who worked for companies and was apparently quite succesful at it but she told us she was trying to get a job doing something like working for the environment. She was going to Florida to break the news to her parents that she had a relationship with Wendy and it was serious. They wanted to get married.   When Corona hit, I no longer saw Carin and Wendy except once in a while as we ran into each other. I looked forward to a time we could go back to our weekly dinners and play.   Carin was athletic and she was an avid kayaker. I had just mentioned to someone that zi thought there was a kayak convention in town because I saw so many people with kayaks on their cars.   Sunday, Carin and a bunch of others went kayaking. She had just gotten back from Ecausdor; another kayaking trip. Carin was in an accident that day and died. I didn't find out about it until Monday. I was in shock at first. I had a game of D&D that night and realized zi was going to play with my home group, Nick, Raliegh, Anastiasia and Chris, people I probably would have never known if it weren't for Carin.   When I got home Monday night, I sat in my car and cried like a baby. I opened my Pokemon Go app and found that she had sent me a gift on Sunday. I couldn't leave it, I had to open it. I don't even know why. I just sat in my car and cried until it was too cold to just sit there.   I tried to get hold of Wendy but couldn't. The only obituary I could find was from Jackson, Georgia that I'm guessing her parents wrote it. The person they described was someone I didn't even recognize. Wendy wasn't mentioned until after neices and nephews. It was hardly mentioned that her life was here in birmingham. It made me feel like the part of her life that I was a part of, my friendship with her didn't even exist and cried more.   The next day I finally got in touch with another friend, Andy, who is a kayaker too. After talking to him, I felt so much better, like yes, the Carin I knew was real and I cried again. A lot. There's gong to be a candlelight vigil on Saturday close to the Kayak club where she was an instructor. Friday, the plan is to search for Carin's paddle which was lost after the accident. It's the one thing Wendy wants.   If somebody had ever asked me how to define Grace, I wouldn't have known how. But if there's one way I could describe Carin, I would say that she lived with her life with grace and wonder. She was kind to everyone and could lift you up when you weren't having a good day. Carin knew how to live. She was always doing something. Yes she was a partner in her law firm but she spent most of her outside time daring to live. Carin knew how to live and she lived with grace. She touched so many lives o so many levels but she aways had time to talk to you and she always paid attention when you were talking. I will miss her and the world has lost a bright light, a light of grace and spiritedness. And all of us who knew her feel as if a light has gone out in the world.   Carin, you were wonderful when I was really down. You helped me see the humor in things and had me laughing over things I had felt terribly about until I talked to you. I'm going to miss you so much.   Goodbye, my friend. You were well loved. I am lucky I knew you. thank you for being in my life. When I start feeling down, I will try to channel your spirit because you always made me see the humor in things and laugh them off.