Ringo Starr's Mind Control Satellite

There are a lot of celebrity legends--the Richard Gere story, for example--that just won't die no matter how many times they're debunked. The story that Ringo Starr owns a mind-control satellite is the opposite of that. No matter how many times the facts are confirmed and reaffirmed, most people insist that the tale is an urban legend that was disproven on Snopes long ago. Snopes, for its part, contains an article that confirms the satellite's existence along with several video clips and news stories featuring Starr discussing his orbiting conversation piece.

Utility

The satellite is capable of controlling the minds of humans either individually or in large groups. The satellite can implant a suggestive, prime directive, or sudden impulse in everyone in an area roughly the size of Cedar Rapids. Since the effect only lasts for about a day and weakens with each hour that passes, a person would need dozens or hundreds of similar sattellites to mind control a vast swath of the population.

Manufacturing

Internet sleuths have determined that the seller of the satellite's real name is Dr. Lyndon Limburger, but additional information is scarce. His ebay seller rating is currently 1846 and his account shows no activity for the past 15 years.

Social Impact

As previously mentioned, most people simply refuse to belive that Ringo Starr owns a mind-control satellite. People who admit that the story is true generally believe Ringo when he says that he would never actually use the device, but at the same time many people are uneasy with the idea of living in a world where a geriactric rock musician can just purchase a mind control satellite. Finally, there are a few true paranoids who insist that Starr's openness about the device is just a ploy to lull the public into a false sense of security so they won't resist when he finally decides to take over the world.
Inventor(s)
It is generally assumed that Dr. Lyndon Limburger designed the sattelite. According to journals found in an unclaimed storage locker registered to "L. Limburger," he also experimented with devices that he dubbed the NEG-O-RAY and the HYPN-O-RAY. This has led to speculation that Limburger may have spent time as a ray-weilding supervillain.
Access & Availability
Ringo Starr insinsts that he is the only person alive with the passcodes required to activate the satellite.
Complexity
Ringo has welcomed scientific study of the satellite, in part because he doesn't really know much about it. The seller sent him a bunch of schematics and technical notes, but he has no idea what they mean. Since such study must necessarily be done and the interior of the satellite is too cluttered to allow easy drone access, the details of its inner workings are still a mystery, but preliminary studies suggest that the device would in fact work as advertised if it were activated.
Discovery
The world first learned about Ringo's mind-control device in the early 1990s. Apparently Ringo, like many people, was quite taken with eBay when the site first launched, which when combined with Beatles Money led to a lot of strange and completely unnecessary purchases. Starr used his irresponsible shopping sprees as conversation fodder for every talk show he appeared on for several years and inevitably named the satellite as his strangest and most irresponsible purchase.

Comments

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Jan 24, 2025 21:39 by Patricia

Dang, this is FUNNY. It's the kind of worldbuilding that raises almost as many questions as it answers, which is my favorite kind of worldbuilding.

Jan 24, 2025 22:16 by Steve Johnson

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.