John Xeno Issue #2 - The Room

Darkness enveloped John, he was alone in this confined space, waiting for the day to pass by, it was the only way he could live, waiting, and surviving, letting each day pass while still breathing. He didn’t notice as he started to let his woes fill the room, the disappointments, the tragedies, the failures, the hate, the guilt, all encircled him as he was trapped in this place. Each memory a bright red orb, depicting his actions, his memories. John looked at those spheres with awe, their numbers overwhelmed him, the memories lit up the rusty metal walls of the small room he was in. The walls had scratched names, and lines and crosses and all sort of mad writing. He looked closer at them, “Nora”, “Ulrich”, “Kiara”, all written with large characters and were all struck-through. As he looked closer, he saw more and more names, each scratched over with a red line, each better defining his failures and losses. John gasped at the wall, bewildered and horrified. He had to get out, he charged the metal door, pain shot through his shoulder as he hit the door, it was still locked, stuck.   Trapped   Alone   Hopeless   Guilty   What use do they have from a failure of a leader, a captain who can’t even trust half the words his mouth is spewing? He has led them to their doom and lived to tell the tale, wondering why did he live when they didn’t. The red orbs pulsed steadily around him, a slow rhythm of a tragic song, humming and vibrating the air around him. John took the nearest orb to him. In it he saw the crash of the great alien spaceship into the Thames, he couldn’t even land it safely. He took another orb, the child who lost control and nearly killed his comrades, he couldn’t save him, he didn’t put the amulet on him fast enough and he let the team to grave danger. He picked up another, Kiara’s tribe, he couldn’t even help her keep her tribe together.   Soon he held in his hands all of the orbs around him, they hummed with his heart, a slow and steady beat, barely fast enough to survive, but not enough to live. He raised his hand, wishing for the orbs around him to stop, to let him wallow in the darkness alone as he should be, alone to think about his failures, to feel the cold pain of destituteness “But you are not alone, young John” A deep voice hummed to him, “you have your allies, your team, they are not dead yet”. Five of the red orbs John held turned white, each depicting his friends, Kiara telling a campfire story about the Foilekokra, Ulrich playing with his falcon training him to fetch, Nora wielding a sword and practicing, dedicating each swing to her master.   A small fire kindled in the room, lighting a small sliver of writing on the dark wall, shining and pulsing quickly. “Do it for them”   John’s watch alarm vibrated, he opened his eyes and saw the wooden ceiling above his head, the window besides him let the morning light shine in his room, he turned off his alarm and stood up. He wore his shoes and tracksuit, opened his door and entering the main hall. He saw Ulrich sleeping on the couch, crashing from last nights drinks, Nora was on the other, and Kiara was sleep-meditating, Artemis lying in her lap.   John silently exited the station, and began running in the brisk morning air. “Do it for them”