Chaos Coffee Shop and Spa

Everyone has heard of the Chaos Coffee Shop, the headquarters of the Chaos Cartel. It's the place where you go to renew your spirit when you're needing hope, joy, or just a bit of encouragement.   You can get just about every caffeinated beverage under the sun except tea (and a few that aren't,) an unlimited supply of chocolate, brownies, and cupcakes (in gluten and lactose free varieties, too!) and from time to time, whimsical offerings such as fruit pies, cheesecake, eclairs, ice cream in a plethora of occasionally-strange flavours, popsicles or cotton candy (in gluten, lactose, and sugar-free varieties as well.)You can get fresh fruit too, or spicy potato chips, or pizza or mountain-of-mushrooms burgers or escargot or truffles, or animal crackers, or Hare-ru (brightly-coloured gummy candies in adorable rabbit shapes,) or Chaos Beans, a mixed bag of jellybeans where a few "gross" flavours, such as dirt or wax, appear mingled among the lime and buttered popcorn, and it's hard to tell which is which.   Chocolate covered coffee beans, Rabbit Kick energy drinks and Rabbit Crack, colour-changing Chiropteran Coffee Creamers, Lapin Honey cakes, and cola gummy candies with actual caffeine are a staple. Holiday options include shaped sugar cookies with colourful sprinkles, Indian sweets, badger-shaped Hare-ru to represent Santa Claws at Tomesmas, or bird-shaped Hare-ru and Kinder Surprise eggs for Avisalia, and pumpkin-spiced everything.   What you can't get is health food. Or vitamin water. Or protein bars. The Chaos Coffee Shop only serves things that spark joy.The baristas serve everything with a flourish and a smile, and with patterns in the cream that are true works of art.Every visitor agrees that it's a single coffee shop. What they don't agree on is where it is located. The only consistent point in space is given as somewhere near The Warren... although where near the Warren is up for debate. People have claimed, however, that the Coffee Shop has appeared in every known Protectorate. Arguments have broken out over it from time to time.   They are all correct. The Chaos Coffee Shop is actually a small pocket dimension that was partially formed out of recycled realities from The Void. Using Literomancy similar to the way in which the Lapin Secret Library operates, the Coffee Shop has been stamped with the essence of several different coffee shops in the physical Realm, put together in modules of time and space. Each of these component coffee shop elements have been selected from favourite haunts of the Chaos Cartel leaders.   The only obvious coffee shop front is near the Warren in Okanagan City, with whimsical stained-glass windows facing whatever street it happens to be on at the moment, and a mysterious carved wooden door with an oval mirror in its center. However, a door to the Chaos Coffee Shop just might randomly open in any doorway, passage, or archway. People have found their way to the Coffee Shop from dark alleys, cave entrances, bathroom and prison stalls, and even archways through gloomy forests or coral reefs. Perhaps the magic is such that it simply opens up wherever it is most needed.   Recently, co-Capo AttorraRu also established a spa portion of the Coffee Shop for healing and encouragement.  

Just don't go into my cave! The dragon roar sound should tell you ye've gone far enough!

— AttorraRu