Dragon Transport and Pacification Society Incorporated
Are your dragons not behaving? Are they lippy and talk back, or decide to eat their riders for the extra protein? Don’t despair. Take your worthless dragons and transform them with The Dragon Transport and Pacification Society. Our work is fully warrantied.*
We’re the dragon experts and we're here for you. Whether you're a knight, hero, royalty or even a dastardly villain, come in and get the behaviour modification therapy and the latest telepathy chips that you so badly need. Then chrome-coat those dull scales to transform your old-school dragons into a modern fleet that will be the envy of everyone in your kingdom.
Alternative Sales Pitch
It's always best to know your clients, and here at DTPS we believe in catering for their whims. Especially the whims of anyone with a lot of money, so make sure you know your client and give them the pitch they most want to hear.Dear heart-warming adventurers or villainous villains, if you have no dragon or need some more, then we have some great news. Our dragons are hatching all year around thanks to new heat-ray technology, coming out of the hatching grounds every day. Come in today and buy one of our pre-prepared lines. All our deluxe model dragons are certified with telepathy as a standard feature. So what are you waiting for when you know you’re only one dragon away from saving your kingdom from that pesky evil villain. [Or destroying that pesky do-gooder threatening your kingdom]
And if you’re buying in bulk, you want to get in first and buy your dragons before the opposition get theirs. So don’t delay, your new perfect dragons could be winging their way to you today!”
Whatever you do, do not believe a word of the pesky troll, Mandy and her lies. Any employees caught with this book will be bathed in dragon fire. No exceptions.
And whatever you do, please notify us if some wag has sent the link to the book again. It's not funny. And people, or trolls, or whoever is involved, will find themselves working in the Underworld. And that's the last we'll say on the matter.
The star is where we put in all the boring and irrelevant information. It's so important that the warranty is as hidden as possible when you give the contract to clients. There are some great ways to do this.
*This warranty does not cover; misuse or cosmetic damage, scorch damage, maiming, injury, being sat on, or death. DTAPS is not liable for damage of any kind, to any thing—sentient or not.
- Make the writing really tiny
- Tear the client's copy
- Use invisible ink
*This warranty does not cover; misuse or cosmetic damage, scorch damage, maiming, injury, being sat on, or death. DTAPS is not liable for damage of any kind, to any thing—sentient or not.
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