Jerlooms: Our Adventures of the Last Year PLUS "The Laughing Dragon"

Hey, luckily there's an artifact in the same direction we need to go. Unluckily Stitch totally forgot what the hell it was by now. Anyway, at the port the party hired the crew of a skywhale from the Singing Islands (his name is Pipaluk). Pipaluk's cool crew dropped them off near The Pit, a city built around a dead dragon where Dwarves send their undesirables. The party headed down, found a whole society of Duergar descended from ancient Dwarf exiles, and helped their clan chief Tishris Gravehammer by beating the ever loving fuck out of Ulfhild, Spawn of Surtr, who is a hot lady fire giant cursed to be stuck here forever. She lives in Nodi's head now because he put her burning heart where one of his eyes used to be, and she showed him where some of the other "old ones" might be. Another voice in his head called "One Eye" is really mad about this for some reason. Gang promises to return later and the Duergar are super happy that they don't have to feed themselves to a nine foot tall burning hot dommy mommy anymore. Anyway.    From The Pit to the road, they stopped at Rivaltn and helped deal with a dinosaur infestation (making friends with the Druid-Dwarf Kathibera) and got absolutely no thanks in part because Chuffy released a 1997 sized Anaconda into their water supply on accident. They then proceed to the hollow mountain Aaldenbur, where they learn that because of all the crazy world shit they've caused the Dwarves are calling a clanmoot. They get some sick lore and head off to the place called The Valley of No Hope where the whole thing with the missing godly champions are. They had to beat up a giant construct and rescue the ghost of an ancient Dwarf necromancer who's been animating the thing.    At the Valley, they were joined by Syrinx, the Watcher Between Worlds. Who was there for NO REASON. Side note, lots of gods and champions about to show up, so here's just a link to the whole pantheon. More godly champions showed up, because the party convened with Tilanos at some point before this and he promised to send help and I could not remember where to put it. So it was The Promethean, The Bound Blade, and the Watcher Between Worlds who came to help and The Solaire, the Lord of Battle, and the Knight of the Red Wastes who came to kill everybody. The Watcher stepped out because Nex is neutral and promised to watch over Emilio while the party was going to "the place no god can see", and because she's the champion of the murder god the Knight of the Red Wastes (Elva) attacked the other two on team Kill My Players' Characters. Also, there's a thing with her and Rafi I guess.    Into the Downbelow, which is legally distinct from The Underdark. They happened upon another artifact kind of just at random, the Gemstone of Know Anything But It Kills You I forgot the real name of. They did not use it well at all. There were signs of strange people and things all over the place. Eventually, the party happened on a group of Drow who had enslaved an angel and the party had to fight her but they set her free and Rafi got a cosmic phone number. (NOTE: I promise Rafi isn't the main character or anything, I just talk to Owen a lot so there's more memory there and also everything Chuffy and Nodi do are WEIRD and Jerry doesn't talk a lot (:sob emoji sob emoji sob emoji:) . Turns out the Drow were hunting Numericans. Americans. What the fuck.    Meet up with the American president, learn that there are several warring factions down here. The champions of Lyrica and TDO did pass through here and went to try and make peace between the Americans and the Romans. So the party finds the Romans. They kill a hippo thing. Also there's a female dragon in the Downbelow which is WILD. And a mummy from before time began or something. Party finds the Romans. Their emperor is keeping the Queen of Love hostage and the Destroyer fighting in the arena. Both of those are weird people super into the situation. Party goes back to the Americans. Then escorts the President and his super cool entourage to the Roman camp to work out a final peace, they take a train and the Drow attack and the party won in like two rounds because I gave the enemy vehicle legs and hit points and it's fine I regret nothing. Anyway peace is made and the gang celebrate the new alliance and the two groups promise to help out with the god thing if it's relevant to them at any point. There's a party and an orgy. That makes a minimum of two this campaign.    Party leaves the Underdark, gets their donkey back, and make it back to Aaldenbur just in time for the Moot. A new King is elected (and I don't remember which one, I am a bad GM I know), and Tilanos is like "Hey Dwarves, these people are my homies and I made them magic sandwiches" and the Dwarves are impressed so the party makes them promise to let the Duergar out of the shame pit. They board the skyship Lady Zisyda and make haste for the University, because the compass was upgraded again so that it now only shows the location of the most artifacts in one spot.    University at Shimmering Rock If anyone's going to know about the artifacts, it's these fucking nerds. Again, the party is famous now, at least in terms of local leadership being absolutely terrified of whatever hell they will bring with them. Luckily, the University is open to everybody, so they get some free rooms and sign up to audit some classes while they hunt for the artifacts. They meet Chadiel, the local high priest of Lyrica, who is super jealous of Rafi's effortless toned abs. Lyrica has started to assemble an alliance of gods and has siezed control of the Pantheon, making her own moon ascendant .    Party hits the gossip circle, get mean girl'd by a reject cadet house Davidon lady, and befriend several professors. Especially Lawton Maerk, professor of Universal Probabilities, who can help them out if the party would only let him study their free radical emissions. He does. They rescue an artifact from him and one from the cow dimension thanks to the Cursed Archaeology department. Cursed Archaeology is run by a Djinni, who grants the party but one wish, which they use to free Emilio from the Curse of Ass. Emilio, as it turns out, is a little goth twink who is really fucking mad about being un-donkey'd and spents the rest of the University arc working out his frustrations on Chadiel.    Ahem.   Anyway.    The greatest trove of artifacts is actually held by a sphinx who is the University's library curator, and she is totally down to help them out. Her name is Gadamba, and apparently was one of the fifteen beings who put the World Enchantment down to begin with, and also is going to kill the great wizard because he wiped her mind along with everyone else's after she constructed a whole ass University murder dungeon specifically for protecting some of the artifacts. Specifically, the Spear of Adaptation, Mercenary Resolve, Ring of the Dragon's Prayer, The Hero's Blade, The Blood Contract. They trade out Qwesty for the Hero's Blade and Nodi's Eye of Know Anything for the Spear of Adaptation, which has a dragon soul in it and now there's another godlike entity living in his skull. At some point, they also met up with Lyrica herself and Freja, a god associated with One Eye and Surtr, who gave Nodi a Nordic Runic Tunic. I mean it's a magic 8 ball that works 50% of the time. They also summoned Attinae again for reasons I can't remember. I think it's because she's on Team Lyrica now along with Tilanos, The Dreaded One, Nex, and Vadaszat. The trove was collected, so while there might still be artifacts at the University, the compass is pointing Eastward. It's time to raid a Confederate military base, oh boy.    For some background, one of the World Events caused the Confedreracy to devolve into two different flavors of civil war.