The Legend of the Great Zonk

There was a lone Deragotta tree, thought to be extinct, but mysteriously kept alive around the village of Baltunda. One brisk Kothuna afternoon a young child named Mariel attempted to discover what kept this particular tree alive. Hours went by of testing various portions of the tree, from the sap to the leaves, to determine its unatural resilience. The day neared its end and Mariel was ready to give up when he heard a faint chime from near the top the tree. He looked up to see a small elf-like creature, cladded in bright red clothing, dawning a cheerful smile under his bushy white hat. The mysterious figure slid down the tree with vigilance and landed with a small thud directly infront of Mariel. The creature made no noise themselves, but instead provided Mariel with a parchment. The parchment read : "Hello youngling, it is I, Plinkton, the Great Zonk. I am the keeper of the Deragotta tree and protector of the mystical. For centuries I have lived in hiding, cursed, merely for the fact that no other cared to investigate my tree. Thanks to you, my curse has been lifted, allowing me to provide the village with the bounties that this tree provides : Capitalism." Mariel looked up from the parchment to realize in the time of his reading, Plinkton had managed to magically fell the tree and reconstruct its pieces into that of 4 nearly identical barrels. Finally speaking, Plinkton billowed out "For saving me from a fate most treacherous, I present ye a free yoink from one of my barrels." Mariel reached forward into the Yellow barrel and pulled out a large black rod adorned with dragon heads on either side. Plinkton grabbed the mysterious rod and exclaimed that it was the legendary Immovable Rod of Odrim. Mariel, initially skeptical, insisted Plinkton proved its immovability. Plinkton, with a sly smirk, requested Mariel lay down on the ground and sit ever-so still. After following in Plinkton's request, Mariel watched as Plinkton placed the rod against his neck, pressing ever so slightly, and then clicked a button near the dragon's head. In an instant Mariel felt the inability to lift himself off the ground. "Wow!" Mariel exclaimed, "This is amazing! Please remove the rod so I can show my friends its mystical powers." With the utterance of the words Plinkton's eyes lit up. "Of course I'll remove it." said Plinkton, a smirk growing on his face as he responds, "For a price." - The Legend of the Great Zonk and its Quest for Capitalism.