Electric Blueberry Wine

Electric blueberries have been a source of fascination to people since aeons before electricity itself was discovered. The concept of making wine with them is one which has been around since almost as long, but as yet, nobody has successfully done so.   However folklore says that electric blueberry wine has been made before. Some say that the Firstborns were able to make it, because the blueberries weren't dangerous for them like they are for modern sapients. Many claim that Allshadow drank it with his dinner every night.   While in the beginning, the idea of electric blueberry wine was about the taste, as the millennia have passed it's become a symbol of achieving the impossible, with all sorts of theories attached to it: that it can heal any disease; lengthen life; grant transcendent wisdom to the drinker; bestow power and wealth. The number of people who have attemped to create electric blueberry wine and died in the process are innumerable, as are the number of con artists who have attempted to convince the public that the wine they have is real electric blueberry wine.  

The Different Myths

  There are many, many folk tales involving electric blueberry wine in some form or other. One of them says that Allshadow used to be a clever mortal, who discovered how to make electric blueberry wine. He drank some and it granted him his great powers, but when Etervir told him to share the fruits of his labours, he refused. In return, Etervir cursed the wine so that it tained Allshadow's soul, his magic, and made him dependent on it to live. Allshadow's subsequent conquest of the Viri people, who worshipped Etervir, was his retaliation. Of the many myths that surround Allshadow, this is one of the few that provides a rationale for Allshadow's very deliberate desecration of Etervir's temples. Other myths suggest that Allshadow somehow travelled to and from the Ancient Lakes and stole electric blueberry wine from the Firstborns.   There are, however, many myths involving the wine which don't include Allshadow. Mythical recipes persist despite having no science behind them and no doubt having been tried many times. Some pseudo-medical texts dating prior to the Age of Acceleration cites electric blueberry wine as being a cure for certain diseases. (In those days, the publishers didn't like to write that there was no cure for something, so they put that instead.) This contributed to the widespread belief that if electric blueberry wine existed, it could cure everything and there would be no need for any other kind of medicine.  

The Schemer and the Emperor

  A very popular myth which is often told to children, is the tale of the schemer who tried to con the Emperor. The old Emperor was very sick, and looking for a miracle cure. His cousin, who was next in line to the throne, bribed an alchemist into pretending he had discovered how to make electric blueberry wine; but that the sample had been used up in testing its safety, and it took a lot of time and resources to make it. The Emperor handed over his gold without hesitation, which was split between the alchemist and the cousin as per the agreement. The alchemist came up with a small amount of wine made from a mixture of different fruits and herbs. This was presented to the Emperor as electric blueberry wine, but the cousin had poisoned it, planning to pin the Emperor's death on the alchemist and take the throne. However, the Emperor had been suspicious of his cousin's intentions for a long time, and had a trusted spy discover what he was up to. The Emperor told his cousin he wanted to toast his good health with him, and had a cup of the court wine poured. The two cups were then deftly switched, so that the cousin would drink the poisoned fake wine himself.   From there the tale has many variations. In some, the cousin dies, and then the Emperor dies later from his incurable sickness (after having the alchemist punished for his part in the plan), but this isn't the most popular. In some versions, the alchemist actually did produce electric blueberry wine but nobody believed it was genuine, and that is what he supplied to the Emperor; the poison added to it didn't work, and when the cousin drank it, both he and the Emperor discovered it was real. Either the two fought, or in some versions, the electric blueberry wine caused regret and remorse in the cousin. Other versions of the tale have the wine being real, but the drinks were accidentally swapped twice, and so the Emperor got the real thing. If the poison worked at all in these versions, he was cured of both before he could die. In some tales which have the Emperor being cured by the real wine, the cousin gets the illness instead (and maybe the poison too). Sometimes it's fake electric blueberry wine that's presented, but Etervir transformed it magically into the real thing, which healed the Emperor. In a darker twist on the tale, the alchemist was actually the Emperor's lovechild, and engineered the fatal poisoning of both of them in order to ascend the throne himself.  

The Wine-Making Process

  The theoretical process of producing electric blueberry wine is a complex one. Harvesting the berries in the first place requires a weeder, who has the technical expertise to do so safely. Because the berries themselves generate electricity, not just the rest of the plant, they have to be handled very carefully with protective equipment. Very few have managed to make it past the step of crushing the berries; most of the time this is what reduces the press and indeed the building to ashes.   For those who did manage to successfully extract the juice from the berries, the juice itself is highly unstable. No method has yet been found of making it inert in order to proceed to the next step. Combining it with other ingredients is an experimental process which is ongoing, but in secret, because attempts to produce electric blueberry wine have been outlawed in the Teardrop Sea Islands due to the high risk of death involved.

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