The blessed and the damned

Once upon a time there was two lovers. One was a sinner, the other a saint. In life they spent their every waking moments together, only in the afterlife to be apart forever. The sinner, who often kept money, got into fights and ate much. The saint, however, happily gave out money to the less fortunate, kept out of fights and ate in portions. Upon death the sinner noticed that he didn't see his love anywhere. Then he was confronted by the seven devils with Rex and Risanh behind them. They evaluated the sinner's life and decided that he had committed greed, wrath and gluttony. As he had committed three deadly sins but only had one consciousness he was cursed to the ninth hell, reserved for those who committed multiple deadly sins equally. As his consciousness travelled to the ninth hell he got glimpses of the first eight hells. In Wrath he saw red cliffs with burning stone and seas of lava under a red sky, where people were fighting each other to death, but they couldn't die, so it was just an eternal fight. In Pride he saw an orange desert with water springs and heaven-like cities under an orange sky. In Gluttony he saw meadows of yellow grass with giant flies in the air under a yellow sky, eating people, expulsing people, eating them again, on repeat. In Envy he saw a huge, green ocean with small grass islands under a green sky, the people in the water, jealous of the beings upon the islands. In Lust he saw a blue grassy landscape with some tall trees, lava rivers and black, square buildings. He could not see what was happening in the buildings, but he heard screams as though the people in them were getting beaten on very sensitive bodyparts. In Sloth he saw multiple beds of all shapes and sizes under a purple sky, but people couldn't sleep in them, everytime they fell asleep they would get awoken violently again. In Greed he saw huge, magenta houses with people outside begging the hellish wardens there for money, who just scoff at them. The sinner knew that this wasn't where the beggars would end, but stinges, like him. In Reptilia he saw spanning rainforests with lizardfolk living in bungalows hanging in massive trees. Lastly, he arrived in The Ninth Hell, where he saw nothing, but he immediately felt hungry, tired, angry, horny, jealous and proud all at once, but he could do nothing about it. He could only think about his love, who wasn't with him, but he wanted her to be.   The saint also didn't see the sinner upon death, but she did see the seven archangels, Oklahoma and Atvian, who decided that as she had done charity, temperance and patience she should be placed in the ninth heaven. She got to the ninth heaven the same way her love had gotten the the ninth hell, by getting views of the first eight heavens. When she got to the ninth heaven she was treated to the sight of her favorite place, where she could do practically whatever. The only thing she didn't like with it was that the sinner wasn't there, but that couldn't change. Their contrasting lifestyles cursed them to spending eternity apart. The sinner was damned to eternal suffering, the saint was blessed with eternal happiness.   Moral of the story: Don't sin. You'll regret it forever.

Well, people die, don't they? And they have to go somewhere, right?   Exactly.