On the Superior Patois of Loxpirian

"You'd almost think the pompus old wind bags were pontificating about something important if you didn't listen to what they were actually saying."

— Billy Tyler whispering to Sinea Dewberry

I have a bone to pick with you.  You assert that the language Loxpirian is an inferior lingual construction for the expression idiom.   I must not beat around the bush but will cut to the chase and say your assertion simply does not cut the mustard. 

Loxpirian is no mere flash in the pan language.  Your candidate language Draslish is barely wet behind the ears as languages go.  Idioms are not built in a day.  Loxpirian’s perfect storm of trade language and time is just what the doctor ordered for creating idiom.  Sailing around the Horn ensures that a language will be a gold mine of non sequitur phrases.

The writing is on the wall for your argument, and I believe the ball is in your court. 

 Dr. Sofestry

"Cry havoc and slip the dogs of war! The game's afoot!

— Billy Tyler

Hey man, you're punching above your weight. Feeman's a cool cat, but you don't want to get in hot water with Old Sofestry, he's a real Jekyll and Hyde.

— Sinea Dewberry

Dr. Sofestry -

I find your argument to be all bark and no bite.  That Loxpirian is older than dirt is a red herring at best.  Loxpirian can’t hold a candle to Draslich which was linguistically designed to paint the town red.  After all, a language created from a clean slate by a half-breed race of hamsters and young boys would be seriously below par if it were not full of fart jokes and oblique references!

I hope that we can get on the same page and bury the hatchet between us.

Break a leg!

Dr. Freeman

"Shots fired! Shots returned!"

— Billy Tyler

"Hey man, I'm telling you, you're on thin ice. Best to stop now while you're ahead, or you'll find yourself in a pickle."

— Sinea Dewberry

"Sinea, you're such a scaredy-cat, stop being a wet blanket. "

— Billy Tyler

We thought that you were a smart cookie, but obviously we have to eat crow on that. You, young man, need to learn to use your head for more than a hat rack.  Anyone with a lick of sense knows not to mock your betters from the peanut gallery or stick your nose into things that don’t concern you.

We're afraid that the die is cast, and it's no joke. You've been assigned four new term papers of 30 pages each on the following topics which will comprise thirty percent of your grade for the semester in our classes:

1. Forms of Respectful Address and Customs Among the Human and Half-Breed Races of Eryia - due in 3 weeks to both of us
2. The Linguistic Complexity of Trade Languages as Illustrated by the Language of the Loxpirian Merchant Princes - due in 2 weeks to Dr Sofestry
3. The Architectural Distinctions of Language Created for a Particular Purpose as illustrated by the Draslich Language. due in 2 weeks to Dr Freeman
4. The Advisability of Heeding the Voice of Reason due in 4 weeks to both of us.

We suggest you put your nose to the grindstone and "get 'er done".

Dr. Sofestry and Dr. Freeman

"Hey look Billy, it's the consequences of your own decisions coming home to roost."

— Sinea Dewberry

"Shut up Sinea"

— Billy Tyler