Thought Police

The Thought Police are a charitable organization dedicated to preventing copyright-infringing dreams from becoming reality. It is only through the dedication and resolve of this organization that the dreaded Wild Lawyers remain extinct.

 

Founded in the year 23 of Eden’s First Age, the Thought Police were the brainchild of three Egregore who just barely survived the Wild Lawyers’ first reign of terror. These founders were:

 
  1. Willie “The Rodent” Steamboat, a white-gloved anthropomorphic mouse who was hunted for wearing said gloves one year before he was legally allowed to do so
  2. Edward W. Bear, a sapient stuffed animal who was hunted for uttering the name of a toy tiger he used to run with in the world before
  3. Pops Seaman, a one-eyed mariner with overlarge forearms who was hunted for suggesting his super-strength might have been the result of excess spinach consumption
 

Together with an army of telepathic consultants and dream manipulation adepts, the founders monitor recently arrived refugees for any signs of shared memories from the collapsed universe they once called home. Then, by cross-referencing said memories against records kept in the Edenian Athenæum and on the EdenNet, the Thought Police determine if this particular instance of groupthink poses any risk of summoning Wild Lawyers armed with Cease & Desist letters. If the answer is “yes,” then by the authority vested in them by the Council of Five, the Thought Police proceed with mind-cleanses to eliminate the threat.

 

While most of their responsibilities end after the initial arrival of the refugees, the Thought Police make regular treks across Eden to consult with any and all persons who fear they might summon a Wild Lawyer with their inappropriate thoughts. And if an infringing amicus imaginarium is somehow created, even despite the best efforts of the Thought Police? Well, the plan then is to give the individual a new name and identity to use until the risk of Wild Lawyers has passed and the individual is ready to enter the public domain.

Founding Date
23
Type
Activist, Charity

Comments

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Jul 2, 2025 18:19 by Imagica

This is brilliant! ^^

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Jul 2, 2025 19:48 by E. Christopher Clark

Thank you. I've been thinking about some version of these guys for a while, so it was cool that Summer Camp gave me the excuse to finally get the idea down on paper.

Jul 2, 2025 20:19 by Laurabones

Love it!

Jul 3, 2025 00:53 by E. Christopher Clark

Thank you!

Jul 3, 2025 12:15 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

Hahaha. Amazing.

Emy x
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Jul 3, 2025 13:58 by E. Christopher Clark

Thank you. I'm hoping to get to illustrate this one at some point. Seeing these three together would be super-fun, I think.

Jul 3, 2025 13:58 by E. Christopher Clark

Thank you. I'm hoping to get to illustrate this one at some point. Seeing these three together would be super-fun, I think.

Jul 3, 2025 20:22 by Diane Morrison

This is pure genius. Also, I laughed my tail off.

Author of the Wyrd West Chronicles and the Toy Soldier Saga. Mother of Bunnies, Eater of Pickles, Friend of Nerds, First of her Name.
Jul 4, 2025 00:02 by E. Christopher Clark

Oh, noes! It's not good for a bunny to lose her tail! I hope you find it soon.

Jul 5, 2025 17:29 by Chris L

Ok, this is f---ing brilliant, as per usual. I love that they're composed of just barely legal thought constructs!

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Jul 6, 2025 12:26 by E. Christopher Clark

Right?! I've been looking for a way to sneak Willie Steamboat into the world for a while now and this prompt gave me just what I needed.

Aug 2, 2025 02:56 by Joella Kay

This is great! Love it!

Aug 2, 2025 15:07 by E. Christopher Clark

Thanks so much! I had totally forgotten I wrote it until your comment came in. What a whirlwind this Summer Camp has been!

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