Magic Beans

Magic Beans are the seeds of an enchanted legume found on the Island of Pirates in Eden’s Neverland. Known for their eerie blue color and the fact that they smell different to each and every person who catches a whiff of them, Magic Beans are most famous for the part they played in the creation of Jack's Beanstalk.

Origins

The plant which produces these beans grows exclusively in the fields surrounding the town of Raba Mümo O‘hebe. It grows there alongside several other incredibly hearty crops and has survived extreme weather of all kinds, as well as repeated attempts by sapient beings to eradicate it.

Common Usage

A suitable substitute for nearly any other kind of bean, Magic Beans are most commonly found in soups and stews. They are typically snuck into such meals by a well-meaning loved one who seeks to break someone out of a funk, though they can be self-administered by the person mindful of their tendency towards spiraling. See magical properties below.

Magical Properties

The enchantment inherent in Magic Beans acts as a cleansing agent. The fibers of the bean are super-absorbent and siphon sadness and melancholia from the mind and body of the person who has eaten them. Once consumed, they remain in the stomach until they have been fully saturated. Only then do they continue their journey on towards the body’s natural exit.

As the remains of the beans traverse the lower half of the intestinal tract, they and the bad feelings they have absorbed are slowly transformed from solid to gas. This gas, upon exiting the body in the form of an air biscuit, bottom burp, or one-cheek squeak, reeks of rotten eggs, sweaty feet, and boiled cabbage. In fact the farts produced by people who consume Magic Beans are so noxious that they have been known to knock passersby unconscious on the spot.

Oddly, the person doing the tooting is typically immune to the breezer, fizzle, or rouser they have just produced. Though those who dealt it can smell it—and often recognize how bad it must smell to others—they are usually so relieved to be rid of their awful emotions that they are simply overcome with the giggles.