World War III - The Meme Wars
The meme wars? Yeah, they happened, but we don't talk about it... too cringe.Everyone thought it'd be nukes, scorched earth and inhabitable zones dotting the landscape, and unfathomable collateral damage and loss of life. Fortunately, this isn't what happened. We instead got something... strange? It was countries versus other countries versus various internet forums versus those 3 people whose computer proficiency was so good that they clearly needed to touch grass or see actual sunlight. The war was a strange and foolish thing, fought not with bullets, but with cyber attacks, pranks, social media misinformation and propaganda, and trolling, lots and lots of trolling. This war was "fought" less for world security and economic gain than for a personal vendetta, bragging rights, and a pissing match between various parties. It was a conflict in which not a single troop was officially deployed into a combat zone, and the disruptions caused impacted civilians, more than any other. The kind of thing that would make aliens think that we were not intelligent life.
The Conflict
Prelude
It all started with filling out forms and some bureaucratic processes. Though everything was digital by that point, and there were attempts to streamline, governments always seemed to be about 7 steps behind. Such was the case when Daniel Jacoby was trying to submit documents for permits and opening a business in Luxembourg. The submission process, which should've taken all of 9 minutes and cost about as much as a day's worth of food, took approximately 13 months and enough money to outright buy a car before Jacoby's patience ran out. Site maintenance, downtime, discrepancies in listed procedures, and conflicting steps turned this from a routine process to an ordeal.
by Kranjax via Midjourney
Deployment
News of Chungus_Almighty spread quickly through forums and chat rooms, and was a regular feature of various news stations worldwide. People wondered what their next stunt would be, and how it would one-up the previous. What he didn't count on was that it would be seen as a real and serious cyber attack, despite the content of his shenanigans clearly relating to governments being slow to change. Luxembourg fortunately took a measured, and rather humorous response, devoting an embarrassing amount of their military budget towards every nation traced back from the initial "attacks". This included the United States, China, The Russo Collective of States (Formerly Russia), Japan, Canada, South Africa, and essentially the entirety of Europe.
What Luxembourg didn't plan for was the responses, and the collective efforts of internet lurkers...
Battlefield
This was a battle that was orchestrated in conference rooms for those associated with the government.
For tech-savvy internet renegades with a bone to pick with 'the-man': forums, chat rooms, and coffee shops for those willing to risk sun exposure.
The actual theater for 'combat' was general government offices around the world, and any and all billboards that could be modified remotely. Times Square was a particularly prime target.
The Engagement
The war was a virtual pissing match. There was not a single "boot on the ground" no live rounds fired, and no prisoners taken. Drones loaded with confetti cannons were a thing, as were pranks by mail. There were several dozen instances of government officials receiving phallic gummy snacks worldwide. The infamous and dreaded glitterbomb made a resurgence as well, but basic security processes essentially negated their disruptive effectiveness.
Counter cultures appeared, employing guerilla spray paint tactics against any institutions they could get away with, though all of it was considered no more than immature pranks by children and fools.
Outcome
- A small corner of the internet was pretty pissed off
- Meme-related incidents made headline news
- Some governments showed an actual sense of humor
Aftermath
- Numerous laws and treaties were passed that made remaining anonymous on the internet more difficult. Essentially, sites were forced to be able to give identifying information to government agencies if requested.
- Glitterbombing was made a punishable offense by law in 38 countries.
- Governments spent astronomical amounts of money upgrading digital infrastructure.
Historical Significance
Technological Advancement
This was the first war in which a quantum computer was utilized, primarily for hacking purposes.
Conflict Type
War
Start Date
April 1, 2098
Ending Date
December 22, 2106
Conflict Result
9-chan and Blueit were forced to require user verification including real names. A noticable amount of annonymity was lost globally
Belligerents
United States
Led by
Strength
The CIA, FBI, and technical members of the US armed forces
Casualties
6 people. They had conditions which were exacerbated by the various goings-on. They were not directly injured.
Objectives
9-chan
Led by
Strength
approximately 1400 keyboard warriors and internet trolls
Casualties
15. None sustained a direct injury but suffered due to "economic sanctions" placed upon them. That is to say that their accounts were either frozen or emptied by 1 or more other sides.
Objectives
- For LoLz
- To "beat the couch potatoes at Blueit"
Blueit
Led by
Strength
approximately 3300 keyboard warriors, internet trolls, and hackers
Casualties
9. None sustained a direct injury but suffered due to "economic sanctions" placed upon them. That is to say that their accounts were either frozen or emptied by 1 or more other sides.
Objectives
- For LoLz
- To "beat the incels of 9-chan"
"Chungus_Almighty"
Led by
Strength
1 person scorned by government process, with a serious axe to grind.
Casualties
None
Objectives
- To assert dominance
- To watch the world burn
- To send a message to governments to get it together
Strength
A global humanitarian agency
Casualties
2 - They were playing around in the cargo hold of plane and hit the ramp release button. They got sucked out sans-parachute
Objectives
Mitigate the damage done by other entities disrupting supplies of regular goods and services.
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