Journal of Alveron Daerenthil

"This is not what I meant." – Final words recorded in the Hall Registry by Alveron Daerenthil before Buttons’ grand opening ribbon-cutting.

 

Mirtul 11, 1354 DR – Commission and Command

Today, I bound the beholder to the central chamber. I have, for ease of command, named it Buttons, a label it appears to have embraced. Nonetheless, its compliance is… adequate.
  Due to the subject’s damaged mental state and resistance to Common, I was forced to encode the geas using a reconstructed version of Quevquel - the native tongue of beholders. This was not ideal. Quevquel has no stable written form and depends heavily on tonal inflection and iris movement. I did my best.
  “Guard the Halls. Let none defile them. Preserve their legacy, and protect what lies within from loss or harm.”
  Scrying simulations suggested the geas was stable, but the phrasing may have lacked clarity. Especially around the term "preserve."
 

Kythorn 1, 1354 DR – The Incident

Today a group of adventurers assaulted the west crypts. Buttons neutralised them efficiently. However, its method was concerning: it offered them a guided tour and a tea party. The tea party food was entirely made of mimics which ate the the adventurers. I questioned (via Sending), it responded:
 

"Apologies. This exhibit is undergoing technical issues

  I shall... recalibrate.
 

Flamerule 18, 1354 DR – Concerning Developments

The thing has started wearing a cravat. I do not know where it got a cravat. I did not give it a cravat. Why does it have a cravat.
  It offers brochures - detailing the 'famous deaths' of notable adventurers.
  It recites poetry at dusk and refers to itself as “Curator of the Haunted Halls” I reminded it of the directive. It responded:
 

"Why sure! To guard the memory! To protect the grandeur! We offer memories! Admission only two silver, and you get a smile for free, mm-hmm!"

  I now believe my geas was not rejected, but misinterpreted - enthusiastically. The command to "preserve the legacy" appears to have been understood as a directive to enshrine the Halls through performance, storytelling, and curated exhibits.
  It is not disobeying. It is overcomplying.
 

Eleasis 12, 1354 DR – Full Operational Madness

He has constructed... signage. Literal signage. Wooden placards that say: "Caution: Historical Echo in Progress – Please Refrain from Disrupting Spectres."
  There is a "Fast Track" line to my bathroom. I don't understand.

He has a children’s puppet show about the Bone Knight Massacre of 1348. The puppets are animated... teeth.
  I am losing control.
 

Eleint 2, 1354 DR – Betrayal of Language

I visited in person today. Buttons greeted me with tea (why does it have tea?!) and tried to enrol me in a loyalty programme. When I tried to dispel the binding geas, he politely incinerated my spellbook and offered me a job.
 

"You’re a marvel with diction, Alvy m'lad! Come on now, help ol’ Buttons narrate the Fall of the Knights of Myth Drannor, here’ a smashing little hat in it for you — feathered, no less!"

  I declined. I think I cried.
 

Marpenoth 14, 1354 DR – My Resignation

The Haunted Halls are now a theme park. There are gift bags. There’s a ride called “The Pit of Slight Regret.” A child waved at me and asked if I was the “dead wizard from level four.” I was wearing robes.

I told her yes.
  Lady Tessaril Winters has taken notice - posters have appeared in Eveningstar and Arabel, even as far as Waymoot. She's pleased with increased foot traffic to Eveningstar.
  I’ve sold my house and moved to Wheloon.
  Buttons sent me a thank-you card. It sings. I didn't tell him where I was going.

 
 

"Thank you, Alveron, old bean! For giving me purpose, poetry, and a surprisingly durable ticketing system, see? Quite the legacy, mm-hmm!"

  I may be the only wizard in Faerûn defeated by guest satisfaction metrics.