Aporeu chronicles Issue 56: Deal with a sheep

Deal with a sheep by Cahir

Today I will tell a story filled with regret and valuable lessons. I hope you as a reader will also learn from the mistakes which were made during this mission. It started of as an innocent request of a young child seeking an adventurer. We were requested to investigate a sheep who was harassing the village of El’daar. With we, I mean lady Phaedra, farmer Bob, a centaur called Kalesh, bear Thamior and a Firbolg by the name of Naïlo.   After convincing our druidic friend Thamior the ways of civilized society we rode our horses towards the village of El’daar. Upon our arrival we quickly found the “person” who requested us. When they said the son of the mayor I at least thought him to be an adult. To my surprise it was a boy around the age of 13… He reminds of a boy I once encountered, a boy who would have grown to be a fine man if not for me. Oh how stupid I was back then… I’m so sorry for what I did…   While reminiscing about the past I wondered what he thought would have been a nice paycheck. He rummaged his pockets and revealed a couple of silver coins. What a nice kid, unlike Thamior this kid knows it is a world where nothing is given to you for free. While staring at Dustin his appearance overlapped with the the boy from my memories. What was his name again? I tried to remember… D something, D something. Ah it was Dylan. In my stupidity I tried to slip him a gold piece, as if it would fix my mistakes. How naive of me to think a gold piece would amount to a life, that it would somehow negate my sins.   Finally, Dylan Dustin took us to the shed where this sheep was supposed to be, but alas Thamior quickly noticed that the door was busted and Naïlo found several tracks leading into the forest. While we were following the tracks, a sudden magic beam was shot out. Being stunned where it came from I looked around to see that Bob had shot and charred a squirrel to death. It seemed he was still afraid of those squirrel bites. With the sudden magical explosion the fire spread to the trees. Idiot! We were in a forest, the guy is a farmer and does not know how easily fire can spread around. I nimbly leaped up the tree and set the fire out before it could spread and we calmed Bob down as he was starting to prepare to annihilate more squirrels. The well cooked squirrel did look quite enticing. At least I entered the forest on a full stomach. However, my view of Bob may change if he continues to be a liability.   As Naïlo decided to change into Bob they started to get along really well. Up to the point that it seemed we were going on a picnic. They started singing and making a lot of noise. Lo and behold we got attacked by the party we were tracking. I saw a lot of wolves, a bear and an orc. Swiftly moving onto the wolves I hacked and slashed to thin out their numbers with the help of Kalesh as the other members of the party started engaging the bear and orc. As Kalesh shot an arrow filled with arcane power it exploded in the eye socket of the wolf bathing me in its cool and sweet blood. Wolves… they remind me of them, those monsters, those savages. I can feel it, soon I will also shred them to pieces and consume their blood like we did with these pups. Almost forgetting what I was doing for a minute I went up to the rest to see a dead giant bear whose head was bashed in and Thamior slashing the nape of the fleeing orc instantly killing him.   Knowing that no one was interested in the orcs head I checked his mouth to see for any sheep bits. After taking a deep smell of his breath I didn’t notice anything indicating a sheep. So I decided to cut his head off and make this one a nice piece of my collection, I did not have any orcs in it yet but it was about to change. This day could not get any better! But it did quickly get worse. Phaedra decided to intervene with my hobbies and bear Thamior was also not happy as he seemed to huff and puff around me. Phaedra was talking a lot of ethical nonsense, which did not make any sense. The orc would have ripped us to pieces if we were the ones lying on the ground. And after he was finished our remains would have probably been turned into wolf or bear shit. Nevertheless, the orc was dead anyways, what does me taking his head have to do with respecting the dead or something. As I said, not really convincing. Suddenly I felt a weird tingling in my head as if someone was trying to mess with it but ultimately I managed to shake it off. Just when I was glaring at Phaedra, Thamior decided to push me. As if that could do anything to me, your slow movements are visible from a mile away. I slashed at the dead orc severing his head. A big mistake by these two. A professional would at least not make their relationship with a party member difficult during a mission, save it for after the job is done.   Ignoring them and looking for further tracks I noticed goblin footsteps carrying something heavy, presumably the sheep. The others noticed a sound coming from the bushes, which upon our inspection turned out to be the mayor's son. We decided to bring him along as sending him alone back was too dangerous. Did I mention Sir Kalesh being a Centaur, swallowing his pride he so graciously allowed Dustin to be carried on his back. What noble man, no, noble centaur.   Moving further along the tracks we stumbled upon a cave entrance. It is always the same story with these vermin. Always hiding in darkness. The caves entrance looked like an endless abyss of darkness. As if the entrance was a gaping mouth which would swallow us whole, feast upon us. It reminded me of the screams accompanying that dark night. I hear her screams over and over again, oh mother how could I leave you behind. Or is it Ms. Alyr screaming? The goblins or the kobolds? I can’t distinguish them anymore… They always echo up there, always ringing in my skull…   Bob puts an end to my thoughts by lighting his shovel like a torch. Dispersing the foggy memories in my mind. Moving to Naïlo who still looks like Bob he also illuminates his shovel. Freeing me of my delusions, but I can still hear them. I can always hear them. Faint, but clearly…   Leaving my thoughts behind we moved along and stumbled upon a fork in the cave, we decided to head to the right. Peeking over my shoulder I saw the boy still sitting safely on Kalesh’s back, what was his name again? D something, Dustin? No, no I'm sure it was Dylan. Thamior noticed a trap on our path and I swiftly dismantled it, I couldn't let Dylan get hurt. Not again! Up ahead we saw two goblins, deciding to take them out stealthily I changed my longsword into a bow made of black tree branches with several white petals on it. The string seemed like it was made out of thin strands of vines. Thamior reacting too quick for me to finish my preparations shot a knife made out of ice at the goblin, killing one and wounding the other. I immediately released an arrow, but I was not ready yet and missed. It ran inside, but before it tried to alert everyone I lined up another shot, but he turned around a bend and escaped my field of view. I changed my bow back into a longsword resembling a black tree branch wrapping itself around a snowy white blade engraved by black lines which looks like roots stemming from the branch and unsheathed my rapier bracing myself for the worst.   To my pleasure Dylan was ordered to stay put in a crevice and Ms. Phaedra hid him with an illusion. He should not come out. With my mind at ease I could dedicate myself entirely to slaughtering the sheep in front of me. No pun intended. We saw an ogre in the back and some larger goblins around a makeshift campfire. Engaging in a fight suddenly another ogre came in from a crevice further in which we didn’t notice. I immediately hexed him, enveloping him in ethereal branches gifted by the Archivist. The ogre further in the back decided that his smaller underlings were good projectiles as he chucked them our way. But he kept missing and the goblins kept on splashing onto shields or walls. This one goblin even strapped a spiked helmet but got splattered on the wall while his head stuck in it causing it’s flimsy body to dangle around. As bear Thamior and Naïlo were engaging the recently joined ogre I also approached and stabbed him in his side causing for an opening beneath his armpit for my longsword. Gently pushing it in I could feel its weakening pulse finally coming to a stop. The other ogre which was pretty hurt by Phaedra’s ethereal dagger, decided to walk up to us as he had no more projectiles around him. So he was greeted with a powerful magical shot by Bob and then pummeled to death by Naïlo.   Thamior finally freed from his foe decided to move further in as all the goblins surrounded him. A nice opportunity I’d say, all clustered around our friendly bear except for one goblin. I raised my hand and called forth a loud thunderous noise filled with wrath. When the echoes of the loud sound of thunder reverberating through the caves receded and everything became quiet we saw that the bear was gone and Thamior himself was standing amidst the dead goblins. Their bodies were nearly unrecognizable as their limbs were twisted and the bones were fractured in many places. The beautiful fresh smell of charred flesh overwhelmed my nose as I took in good whiff before I turned my eyes to the last remaining goblin and approached him. Suddenly remembering why I was here I decided to convince him to surrender. Something which he happily obliged to do.   Tying him up nicely I waited at his side while the rest searched around and checked for valuables. The goblin informed us that there were no more enemies further in the cave and we found the sheep still alive and well, albeit tied up and in the midst of preparation for dinner I guess. While everyone was going around doing their business I wanted to teach Dylan a valuable lesson involving our sweet little captive. While thinking of how I should approach this I noticed the goblin trying to escape so I “persuaded” him to stay put with a little prick from my rapier. Phaedra being the all caring person she is decided to intervene again. What now, I didn’t lob his head off. I can’t seem to do anything correct in her eyes. So I decided to cut him loose. I gave the goblin a chance to live and be free. Oh if I knew what it would almost cost me I would have rather chosen to end my own life…   The goblin started to run away. Kalesh started giving chase. Bob shot a beam of magic and fried the goblins brains but he still persevered and finally Kalesh shot the goblin through its throat killing him. Bob! Bob that knobhead! He may even be more insane than me! The idiot doesn’t even know how to control his magic. And here I was thinking that the guy was alright. His magic arced from the goblin towards Dylan. He slumped over with his orifices leaking blood. No, as much as I’d like to blame Bob, it was me… I stood there rooted in place. Afraid of what I had done. Scared of what I had caused. Luckily Ms. Phaedra was there, for the first time that day I was happy that she was with us. She healed him and brought him back up. I’m sorry, it should have hit me! I do not know what I would have done if Dylan would have… died. I will not kill him a second time!

Trying to keep my emotions under control I “tried” to gloss over the matter by pretending to have taught Dylan a valuable lesson about the dangers of adventuring. After this whole debacle the sheep which was talking with Thamior decided to run away. Apparently he is a wizard who was tricked by his apprentice and turned into a sheep. But in his haste he got caught in a trap while running away, which gave us enough time and opportunity to persuade him into cooperating with us and allowing us to help him with his apprentice problem.   Signed ~ Cahir Isengrim a stupid adventurer

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Deal with a sheep by Pheadra

Dear Lotta,   Blessed be you, my best friend and mentor, under the eye of the Lady who loves all equally. Know that you are in my heart, always, as you have been since starting my novitiate. I hope all is well over there, and that the commotion has died down by now. I suppose the Duchess has contacted you as well, as you are close to Jereweth. I also hope you-know-who isn’t giving you too much trouble. If there’s anything I can do from this side, please let me know. I am just a humble servant of the Lady, whom I serve in my own way, but if it’s in my capacity to do so, I will help.   As you know, things here are never boring. Viktor and I have started our own chapel here; the chapel of Forgotten Passions, where our lady of smiles, Aphrodite, and his shadow goddess, Shar, are worshiped; and all lost souls can come to be found. A couple of days ago, we have bound ourselves to one another for life. I made the ancient oaths. Lotta, our heartbeat is in perfect sync now. It is the weirdest feeling. One day, Viktor was on an adventure and I could just feel him near. I felt his beat quickening in battle; felt him triumph; felt him relax. It’s marvelous, and frightening at the same time. So I was curious about his experience if I were to go on an adventure. Besides, I need the money, as we are saving for a house. Yes, this does pay that well. I’ve been at the adventuring business for about 3 months now and I can almost afford a more than decent home, when I team up with Viktor. But that’s beside the point.   As always, teams are semi-randomly selected from whoever signs up. This mission, I ended up with an odd bunch. There was Bob, whom I already knew, a farmer who is possessed by both god and devils, and has a very destructive power. Thamior, you know him, he was on the rescue mission, remember? He is the wood elf that can turn into a bear. Naïlo, a magnificent creature (a Firbolg? Never heard of those before) with very interesting powers, and a huge hammer-thing that hits hard. Kalesh, a centaur (yes, really! I know right! I kept my head fairly cool though) who can shoot magic arrows. And last but not least, Cahir, a very creepy guy who collects SHRUNKEN HEADS. Really, Viktor teaches me to not judge, and I know the goddess loves all equally, but it’s hard to stay calm when someone actually removes a head of an enemy while you’re next to it. But I digress.   Lornan, the bronze tier quest handler, sent us on our way quickly, obviously embarrassed to have given out the quest in the first place. Apparently it was put up by a young boy, who was concerned about a sheep that kept harassing people in his village, El’Daar. Well I was obviously intrigued, and after some introductions and banter, we decide to go to El’Daar. We hire some horses at the gate. Luckily, Bob seems to know the owner, who didn’t seem too happy to rent them out to adventurers. I also must admit, having never been on a horse, that I was fairly scared of the beasts. Sure, they’re not as impressive as our camels, but they are spirited and have a mind of their own. Nevertheless, Bob and Naïlo help me in the saddle, and apparently I have a natural aptitude with the beasts. I thoroughly enjoyed riding, and will do so again. We should do it together!   Anyway, once in the village, we quickly find the boy (the mayor’s 13 year old son, Dustin). He is adorable, and seems to think very highly of adventurers. He tells us about the sheep that he has captured, and that his father ‘authorized’ him to hire adventurers, as long as he paid for them himself. Well, of course the sheep was not where he left it, so we followed the tracks to the edge of the woods. Once in the woods, Kalesh and Naïlo do the tracking, Bob sets fire to a tree while aiming for a squirrel, and Cahir puts the fire out. And EATS the squirrel. He just bit off its head, so disgusting. But what else to expect from a man with a shrunken head collection?   Anyway, not much later we walk straight into a kind of ambush. Or, well, Thamior forewarned us, so we were not exactly surprised. We find ourselves in the company of 2 sets of wolves, a huge bear and a large orc. I gleefully shout at the orc in his own language (yes, I’ve learned another one, mainly for Aegeus, to teach him about his heritage), using phrases I’m sure his brute brain will understand. It was something of the sort ‘Surrender or die’. In any case, he didn’t seem to agree. I made sure my allies were blessed with the goddess’ golden light, then battered on the orc with the holy golden rose dagger. Thankfully my allies seem more interesting targets to the enemies, so I could easily keep up the rain of holy fire that followed. Naïlo was just the image of Bob, so he attracted the attention of one pair of wolves, while Cahir and Kalesh were working on the other set. Thamior had changed into a bear and went straight for the bear and the orc. Bob was throwing actual fire. Then, somehow, most of us turn invisible. I kid you not Lotta, I was so confused. Luckily, so were the enemies. Especially the orc. He was so spooked by Thamior’s reappearance that he tried to run, but Thamior got him. The rest of them were easily dispatched. Then, the thrill of battle not even fully dissolved from me before Cahir comes up and starts to SAW OFF THE ORCS HEAD. Holy goddess of all that is good and beautiful, that was so… disturbing and unrespectable. So I kindly asked him to stop, and when he didn’t, I suggested he would, if you catch my drift. Sadly, he seemed to be strong-willed. Thamior even tried to help me, but Cahir prevailed. Oh, the goddess tries me in many ways. But such is my burden to deal with. I did a death rite for the orc, so his soul may pass on, even though his head will end up in creepy Cahir’s collection.   We take a moment to rest up, and then go on. Our trackers find some goblin tracks, which we follow until Thamior points out someone is following us. Of course it’s the boy from the village, Dustin. As we are well into the forest, we sadly can’t send him back, although I am pretty upset that he followed us in at all. Battle is no place for one so young. Kalesh graciously offers to let the boy ride him. Had I mentioned I really like him? A noble creature, he is. But I digress.   We find a cave and enter it. Thamior dispatches of a trap, after which we find two goblins. Thamior, being the fastest, hits them with some ice explosion, dropping one instantly. The other sadly got away. I make sure Dustin is safe behind an illusory boulder I conjure up in a little nook, before the large chamber the goblin fled into. There we are met by an enormous ogre and a lot of goblins. This guy promptly starts to THROW GOBLINS AT US. Seriously, my heart skipped a beat the first time I caught one on my shield. (I should get it fixed probably, it’s a little dented from the thrown goblins) I don’t know what happened exactly, as a lot happened at the same time. I once again invoked Aphrodite’s golden light to strengthen my allies, and summoned forth her holy weapon to continuously rain her holy power on the huge ogre. Another ogre showed up, as did many goblins, but they were either taken out by my allies or the ogre threw them at us. I must’ve caught at least 3 on my shield. (I need to work on maintaining concentration in battle soon.) And I think it was Cahir, who eventually took out the whole cluster of goblins surrounding Thamior, by doing some kind of force magic. I don’t like the guy at all, but that was pretty effective. He also made the last goblin surrender, then proceeded to stab the creature in the foot. Of course, I went off on him again. Honestly, he has no respect at all for common standards in dealing with the captured and the fallen. I clearly remember another time, not too long ago, that one of my party members just stabbed a surrendered enemy to death. I vouched it would not happen again on my watch.   In any case, meanwhile Kalesh and Naïlo go into a little cave and find the sheep, tied up. Thing was lucky to be alive still. Thamior uses his nature magic to communicate, and finds out he is actually a wizard, transformed by his own apprentice. Then several things happen at once. Cahir releases the goblin after my rant, who of course tries to escape. Kalesh shoots at it, as does Bob with his insane magic. Then that magic not only hits the goblin, but another scary bolt comes flying STRAIGHT at me, then veers off to Dustin, who had creeped out of his hiding place to watch the carnage. He immediate drops down, and for a split second I falter. Then I run as fast as I can, and try to invoke the goddess’ powers to bring him back from the brink of death. Lotta, I felt so guilty. The child got hurt, partly because of my doing. I managed to save him, barely, and by the grace of the goddess, he didn’t seem the worse for it. Though admittedly he was a bit off his rockers already by following adventurers into battle. Looking back, I blame both Cahir and Bob for this, for this recklessness with a child in the vicinity. Naïlo obviously thought the same, because he took a swing with that maul of him at Bob, who must’ve had a headache for the rest of the day. Served him right. ( I usually like Bob, but he was acting so weird today).   It takes some time to persuade the sheep into following us, especially since it tried to escape after the previous scene, then proceeded to fall into a trap, but it does so. Bob is taking care of it now. Another group of adventurers will have to deal with the apprentice.   So there you have it. Just an ordinary day of the adventurer’s life. (I’m kidding of course, usually I spend my time either in the chapel, or crafting glass items, or sewing). Please give mother Merope a big hug from me, and give the enclosed package to Aegeus. I want him to start learning Orcish, so I included some simple vocabulary he can practice on. I… miss him immensely. Please tell him I love him very much and I would very much like to visit him, but they are very strict in gate usage here. I hope he likes the marbles I made him.   Love, Phaedra

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On the next issue:

Trouble in Tembega town