Thirst Trap

I told my awesome Sandwich Joke— you know the one— by that new water cooler at lunch today. Big crowd. Perfect for the Sandwich Joke. Sure to be a real ryeot. You wanna know how many people laughed?   None. Glassy stares. One guy actually said "humor is unproductive and so are sandwiches" and then pounded one of those tiny paper cups full of water like it was a beer. Crushed it against his forehead and everything. Real sourdough. Non-starter. Bread.   I tried telling the Sandwich Joke 2, instead. Still nothing. Not even a smirk. I just showed up to tell my joke, get my daily validation, I wasn't even thirsty! People I know love that joke didn't even reply, they all just walked past me, drank the water, and left. It's been quieter lately, too. People aren't talking. They're skipping their lunch breaks— did you know that the food court has been nearly empty all week? It's like everyone suddenly decided they liked working.   There's only one explanation— the water from this thing is mind controlling them. Making them hate my jokes— while also making them the world's lamest, most productive workers.  

— Ekaj Folks, IT Director

Whoah whoah what?! It's making everyone more productive?! Hold on now, son, maybe this is a good thing. A blessing in disguise. I'm going to have the markcounting department monitor this— if it makes us more money than we lost on that water cooldron...well, then we'd have nothing to worry about, would we?   I'll send an email to the rest of the executive department to avoid drinking the water, still. You too, Ekaj.  

— Bin Folks, Administrator

3

Days til Halloween