Solstice Socks

DESIGNATION: A-1212

THREAT LEVEL: PEPPERMINT

It's...wow, you got me socks? You spent all month hyping my gift up— you even took out a loan, and it's just socks?
— Disappointed Giftee

Anomaly Description

A-1212, referred to by some personnel as solstice socks, are a pair of plain white socks with the symbol of a grey snowflake visible on the heel. Every year during the winter holiday season, A-1212 will replace wrapped gifts at random— disappointing their recipients. These gifts may be intended for Christmas, Hanukkah, local holidays, or even New Year's Eve— A-1212 does not appear to prefer gifts from any particular traditions, simply those shared in the final month of the year. Any gift can be replaced, so long as its wrapping could feasibly contain a single pair of socks. If the replaced gift was particularly large, its container will be empty save for A-1212. When the socks are donned, however, their recipient will suddenly become excited and grateful for them— a feeling that dissipates once the socks have been removed. In some cases, it is the gifter, not the recipient, that may be more upset by their appearance— especially if they had put a great deal of effort or money into the original gift.

Nina stared at the drab clothing as one might stare at drying paint. "Wow, I can't believe you got me socks." Her disappointment was palpable. Jace was shocked, and nearly fell out of their seat as they tried to place an apologetic hand on Nina's shoulder. "I swear I didn't! I have no idea what happened I'm so sorry, I— " Before they could finish, however, Nina had donned the socks— and her posture suddenly changed. She turned to Jace and spoke with an excited grin, "Wow! I can't believe you got me socks!"

Anomaly Containment Procedures

Research into A-1212 is ongoing, and at current, there are no known procedures for total containment. If any personnel come across an instance of A-1212, they are advised to send them to Containment at their earliest convenience. However, personnel are discouraged from knowingly gifting instances of A-1212 to Containment personnel for holidays, birthdays, and promotions— as they might retaliate and release the hundreds of socks currently in the ACF's possession, which could lead to unforseen consequences.

Logs for A-1212
Test/experiment #1212-3
Date: 1991/12/26
Head researcher: Dr. Chringle
Subject: Dr. Rualph
Description: Subject was given ten instances of A-1212, and asked to don as many as they could.
Result: Subject managed to wear all ten pairs of socks, no change in their attitude was observable after the first pair.

Test/experiment #1212-25
Date: 2003/12/14
Head researcher: Dr. Chringle
Subject: Lemming
Description: Subject was given an instance of A-1212 and asked to don it.
Result: Subject refused to take off the socks they were already wearing, and had to be coerced with the promise of egg nog in order to, at the very least, wear A-1212 over their existing clothing. No change was observable, and when asked, the subject verbalized distaste for the socks even while wearing them.
Notes: Further tests indicate that A-1212's mind-altering effects are negated by wearing other socks beneath them. I am unsure how this knowledge may be useful, but it is progress.

Incident #1212-5
Date: 2015/12/27
Location: IT department
Personnel involved: Ekaj Folks, various IT personnel
Written log
Ekaj Folks, having unintentially received an instance of A-1212 for Christmas, decided it would be funny to turn the socks into puppets, and that it would be appropriate to workshop his new sock-puppet comedy routine by performing it for personnel attempting to go about their work. However, when his performance began— the sock began to speak with a voice of its own. Witnesses reported that the sock attempted to convert them to the "Stitcherhood" and spoke of an apocalyptic future in which all of the world would be placed inside of "the Stockingod's great cotton embrace." Ekaj's face remained horrified, and devoid of color, as the sock spoke— and its voice was one that no one had heard the man use before. Considering Ekaj's propensity for pranking personnel, this story should be approached with caution. Knowledge of any tests or research into A-1212 that attempt to discover more about the Stitcherhood, or their god, must not be given to Ekaj. If this incident, was, in fact, one of his many pranks— we cannot allow him to win. -End Logs-