Cheepe Co.

  Their clientele range from international corporations, governments, and militaries, to households, schools, and terrorists— each with their own varied needs. Varied needs, which are met by Cheepe Co.'s varied catalogue, which includes weapons such as firearms and firelegs, tools such as shovels or pushels, machinery like bulldozers and beardozers, and food such as cupcakes or litrecakes.   The reason behind Cheepe Co.'s incredibly cheap prices is a as of yet unknown manufacturing process— which imbues each of their products with anomalous defects. These defects are as varied as their catalogue, including radios that shrink in the cold, pistols that disassemble entirely upon reloading, and baguettes that may explode on contact with butter. These defects are somewhat standard across singular products, though even among those, unique defects can be found. Somehow, these defects are rarely noticed by the public enough to spark controversey.  

I can't believe I need to ask this again, we really need to source new tools— this is the fifth time this week we've had to hospitalize someone after their shovel spontaneously combusted.

— Dr. Thomas, head researcher, DPS.

 

The forjmaster

It appears that, from the start, Jim Folks has obfuscated the secret behind Cheepe Co.'s anomalous products. For what reason, no one appears to know— including the modern Folks family. From what little information we have at current— mostly emails accidentally sent to the wrong address and a particular defect where cinnamon rolls sometimes contain internal company documents— we can assume these defects are the doing of an anomaly referred to as "the Forjmaster."   What, or where, this anomaly is— we do not know. All we do know, is that they are some sort of trickster, who particularly enjoys the suffering or dissatisfaction of others upon use of Cheepe Co. products. Whether or not they gain power from these reactions, we are not quite yet sure— however, we have issued a memo to foundation personnel to avoid complaining when possible.  

Oh, now I'm going to complain tenfold— just to pick up the slack.

— Ekaj Folks