Adeater

 

They're consuming our advertisements at a rate we wish our actual audience would!

— Marketer

  A-400— known publicly as Adeaters— is a species of small reptile endemic to A-399.   Each instance of A-400 appears similar to a New Mexico whiptail, however, instead of brown and white— their scales display in colorful patterns with myriad corporate logos of various shapes and sizes. No two instances appear the same, their patterns— and the logos present— are wholly unique to each. What makes A-400 especially unique— and anomalous— is that is does not require food or water to survive. Instead, it survives by consuming the advertisements found within A-399— a territory affected by years of nuclear advertising tests.   All an instance needs to do is approach an advertisement, and consume it as any consumer would— if it's a visual ad, they simply look at it. If it's an audio ad, they listen to it. So on and so forth. Somehow, they are able to do so selectively— avoiding overeating, and often showing preference for certain types of advertisements. These preferences appear to change from instance to instance.   Advertisements found in A-399 can appear anywhere, in stones, in the wind, and in the very ground beneath one's feet. As such, this creates an abundance of food for A-400. A-400 is the only known species that can withstand the effects of advertisement exposure within A-399, and are able to live for years without showing signs of sickness. It is unknown how they can do this, or how they can consume advertisements to begin with. It is currently theorized that a New Mexico whiptail laid eggs on site during the period of active testing. Somehow, this must have created the new species seen today.  

Anomaly Containment Procedures

Instances of A-400 are to be kept in secure terrariums with proper heating, the same way one would care for most other reptiles. Select advertisements are to be fed to them in print form. Do not feed them advertisements from any ACF sponsors! A rotating group of personnel are to be deployed to A-399 periodically to ensure that the numbers of A-400 do not grow large enough to endanger A-399's continued operation.  

What the hell is going on at the Adlands? One of those things ate our "eat at Joe's" ad!

— Marketer