Some dialogue from the day before the battle of Humbari

Eldanfan enters the wooden building where Major General Shon-Sho Ashawa and his top commanders including General Kai-Shal Khazai and General Han-Sao Bashra are sitting around a mobile table (the kind that is meant to be taken apart and put back together). On the table is a map of the area and some clay objects that represent the different units expected to be seen in the oncoming battle the next day.   Shon-Sho Ashawa: "Now that we are all here, lets talk about our plans for tomorrow. We know that Arquado Barbarossa has a total of over 160 myriad troops here in the East Hu-Balai region. We also know that he has about 300,000 troops besieging the capital and that he is coming here himself with a larger army because he wants to secure the Trans-Yagruz bridge not far from here. Even though it has been two years already, the forces of the defence pact aren't here yet and they are nowhere to be seen within the nearest 30 kilometers. We have here a total of around 50,000 troops. Suggestions!"   The major general demonstrated what he was saying on the table by moving the clay objects as he spoke. There was eerie silence when he finished. They all understood that it would be a massacre if they met in open battle and that there was no room in the town for all of them to hole up inside and prepare for a siege. Finally, one of the generals broke the silence.   Kai-Shal Khazai: "What if we bypass the approaching army and attack the one besieging the capital from the rear?"   Eldanfan: "Two problems with your plan, idiot. First, what makes you think that a 50,000 strong slow moving army can outmaneuver a massive force that is known to be able to move incredibly fast that outnumbers it at least 7 to 1 and successfully attack another force that outnumbers it almost 6 to 1 and actually win?   "Second, we will be annihilated whether we fight them here or in Bashur."   Han-Sao Bashra: "You have a good point. I say that we retreat north and join the coalition and move south with them. This way, once we reconquer the kingdom, we will have a veteran army corps to defend it because we won't be dead."   Eldanfan: "That's a stupid plan. I can't come because then my bi***y sister-in-law, your f*****g queen, will cave in my son's skull herself and kill my mens' families. For all you know, my wife could kill me for that. What's more is that you need to leave someone behind to engage the approaching army because you steel-covered slugs are so d**n slow that they will catch up to you with their war elephants and cavalry and kill you all once you get to the bridge."   Shon-Sho Ashawa: "Two things. First, I'm very pleased that you are volunteering to distract the army with your outcasts seeing as you are going to die regardless. Second, you know that it is completely disrespectful and not to mention very illegal to talk about the queen in such a manner. Isn't that why you got exiled in the first place? (Eldanfan cowers his head and closes his eyes briefly) Don't you know that when you curse someone your words get carried by the children of the god of fowl who constantly fly in the sky?"   Eldanfan shouts back very angrily as he is very observantly anti-religious and doesn't respect others' beliefs:   Eldanfan: "The gods don't exist! They never have! It's all a big fr*****g lie! I checked everything and found that they're all a hoard of lies and inanimate statues!"   The major general replies very sternly and assertively whilst drawing out his dagger in a flash.   Shon-Sho Ashawa: "You're one of a spot few who believes in this outrageous and baseless hypothesis. But whether or not you are right is besides the point. Everybody except for your outcasts hate and despise you because you are a disgusting person who chose to throw his inter-person relationship manners out the window. The reason why you have survived this long is because the Dalkndalk had pity on you and because you found a way to make yourself and your people useful and indispensable. The only reason why anyone besides your gang would care if you suddenly keeled over is because they need you to use your army for them."   Eldanfan: "You---"   Shon-Sho Ashawa: "Don't even. I'm in charge and you will follow my orders. Tomorrow you and your outcasts will suicidally engage Arquado's army to give us the time we need. Your state-of-the-art equipped fast moving force should hopefully distract them long enough. Now get out of my sight!"   Eldanfan leaves the building hurt and disgraced. It was the first time he was treated like that. According to the manners he grew up with this was rather fair and the major general was right about Eldanfan's rotten personality and behavior towards other people, about the fact that he treats almost everything like garbage.   Meanwhile, back to our Bashurian commanders. Shon-Sho Ashawa puts away his dagger as Eldanfan leaves and sits down to wind down. The generals briefly whisper amongst each other before the senior officer begins to speak again.   Random officer 1: "Wow. I'd pay to see that again."   Random officer 2: "You bet."   Shon-Sho Ashawa: "Okay, back to business. We need to talk about contingency plans, about how we leave fast and what exactly we do after because I heard that this Arquado Barbarossa is an educated genius. Ideas. Now. I've lost most of my patience on that sorry filthy tongued piece of garbage, so don't try my patience."