2.1 Casting Shadows

General Summary

It’s cold. I’m lonely and isolated - far from anything warm. Like I’ve been left out in the moonlight at night. The shadow wraps itself around me like a cloak and I feel warm and comforted. The loneliness and isolation goes away as the darkness pulls me closer and envelopes me. For a while, I just drift in this warm, comforting darkness. After some unknowable period of time, I’m in a garden I’ve remembered before. Waterfalls splash...it’s late evening and the shadows are long and inky black. The cloak of darkness pulls back but only far enough to be next to me, behind me, sheltering me from what’s left of the sun’s harsh life. I hear her voice. The voice that spoke from the throne in my memory of becoming a Dread Lady. “Thank you. Thank you, little one, for what you’ve done. Walk with me”   The shadow begins to move, leading me on a stroll through the gardens.   “I’m sorry that you had to face one of your own. I’m sorry you had to seal him back away. There are many old magics that are failing. There are many dangers and traps and things left over from a harsher time. I fear that you have little help to walk beside you in the world that you’re in. Your Mistress speaks well of you and your courage in taking this on. I’m sorry that I’ve left you so very alone these past several days. I’m sorry you’ve had to stand without shade or comfort. You haven’t left my shadow. You haven’t left my sight. You haven’t left my heart. So much depends on you, and I wish I could make so much of it easier.”   She sighs.   “What you did in that tomb is worthy of a boon that I can’t truly bestow. At the moment, I stand in your debt for your service. And so do we all as we pray for your success. I’m going to give you two things that I hope will help. The first is a calling. There are still those who can hear my whispers even as far away as you are now. I will ask them to seek you out so you do not walk as alone as you are. And I can do a small thing now, that you’ve crossed the barrier, to unlock a portion of what’s sealed away, and restore your access to the trust.”   She steps up beside me and wraps the cloak around me again. Now I’m standing in my camp, looking at myself sleeping. Bran is there, sleeping, holding me like a teddy bear. Rosalia is also there closeby. She is looking at the fire and keeping watch. The darkness moves behind Rosalia first and then passes over Bran, trailing almost fingers of darkness.   “These weren’t here before,” and a finger of darkness runs along the curve of his ear, “These hadn’t come to our side of the Great Sea before. I do not know if you can trust these newcomers. Their powers are strange and borrowed and they do not know.” Her shadowed hand reaches into Bran’s chest and settles around his heart, “There is strength here. I hope it’s enough strength for your needs. We ask so much of you, I fear you’ll ask so much of them. It’s time for you to begin gathering. I know that’s going to be hard, and I know that you’ve had to inflict so many wounds on yourself. You’ll have to open so many of them up again. No Empress could ask for a more dedicated servant; no people could ask for a more devout protector. I am proud and you should stand proud of what you have already accomplished by coming this far. Be well, little one, and rest in my shade.”   Again I am bundled in the warm, soft darkness. I don’t dream anything else, just left with warm peace. When I wake, there’s a feeling in my chest of connection to that warm, soft, dark. There’s a small piece of it that won’t go away anymore, deep inside.  

Day 8

When I wake, Bran is awake and preparing breakfast. In the moments before Rosalia wakes, we talk about the spectre that we locked in the tomb again. I explain that his presence raises questions about elves on this side of the mountain, but Bran doesn’t seem quite as concerned about this as me. I tell him just a little bit of what I’ve remembered about Dread Lords and Ladies - that they...we...are nobles of a sort, but elevated because of our responsibility, not our wealth or entitlement. That I’m here and not with my people means that something needs to be done in their service on this side of the Mountains. I don’t share the alternative with him. Reflecting on my dream, I think that alternative is less and less likely.   When Rosalia wakes, I ask their opinion on darkness and light. Rosalia tells me she had a candle at the foot of her bed until she was 12 summers old (Bran until he was 15). The light comforts them - nothing can be hiding in the shadows. Bran tells me that Thalien had tried to teach him to be comfortable in the darkness but it never quite worked. I suppose this is common to all humans. I wonder if all elves are supposed to be uncomfortable in the light. What a curious thing - to have named myself after the banishing of darkness. I wonder what the Empress in my dream would think of this…   Rosalia breaks my thoughtfulness by laughing that Elder Haman would say that the worst thing that could be lurking in the shadows is an elf.   The conversation about light and nightmares leads us back to the Beast. He is one of their...eight...gods. There’s the Beast, the Master, the Candlemaker, the Sentinel, and the Duellists (sisters). The six managed to separate the Beast from the Master and now the Beast rampages through nightmares while the Master seeks out his lost hound.   This is elaborate. I can’t imagine having to pray to six different figures. I suppose right now I can’t even imagine praying to one. Perhaps the Empress is a goddess, but if she’s going to appear in my dreams, it doesn’t seem like she requires prayer. She said that she herself, along with our people, are praying for my success. What does it mean to be a deity anyway? Responsibility to one’s people and the power to help them? That spectre in the tomb could have been a god (like the Beast) for all his people knew.   They tell me about their Candlemaker, who brings light where there is darkness. He sets the sun ablaze and brings warmth and safety. So now I know of an Empress who brings the cozy safety of darkness, and a Candlemaker who banishes that and brings his own version of warmth and safety. This is a duality I will probably have to face at some point. For now, I know that bright light casts deep shadow, and that is enough for me.   And then...we leave. Back to the village.