19.2 Sisterhood
General Summary
Day 261
As I press Alder for details of the time I have missed, he tells me that Andstella gets time with me first. But not before hugging me tightly and telling me briefly that I kept getting weaker and weaker the longer it took them to reach this tree. He was afraid that we wouldn’t be fast enough and it would be his fault. He instantly says “I know, I know” when I shoot him a critical look. He’s scared of losing me and I know that too. There’s a shadow of guilt over my hasty actions in the Dreaming. They haven’t been able to reach Bran either, and I can’t imagine how worried he must be.
But for now, I go with Andstella to discuss whatever I need to know now that I am...a fae. She leads me up into one of the eldritch trees where we can overlook the surrounding land. She remarks that it feels like she has a sister now...both big sister and little sister in different ways, and I feel her vulnerability in this statement but I agree with her. Two strange fae unlike any others must be family, if not in the way that I’m used to.
Here in the tree she asks me to close my eyes and listen for the Grove. I can hear the music just like at Dreamfall but clearer now. And stronger, I can hear the pulsing rhythm of the Tree (our Tree...I think to myself). Andstella tells me that I’ll never be unable to find the Tree now that I can hear its rhythm.
We continue to talk about what I have become - she tells me that she sleeps once per decade for just a few weeks. She’s cycled through dawn, daylight, dusk, and midnight just like the other fae cycle through seasons. She gains decades of memories when she sleeps and then integrates them over the course of a few weeks upon waking. Gently, she tells me that the few weeks after waking can be disorienting, something I’m noticing more as I feel my mood shifting as though in response to things that didn’t happen.
Andstella’s most recent memories from the Tree are 100 years ago. Everything she knows about modern fae is from conversations with the Vanguard in the Dreaming. Interestingly, she tells me that Autumn/Winter fae usually have an easier time reaching the Dreaming, as do Dusk/Midnight fae.
She thinks that we could probably sleep safely under a Grove tree, but there’s no way of knowing if we would retain our rhythm and time or transition to season. Our Tree has doubled in size in the seventy years that Andstella has been with it, though it has slowed in the last twenty. She thinks it may be ready to bear fruit for the first time in her knowledge. We could plant others elsewhere, hopefully.
And come Autumn when Lesili is ready to sleep she will sleep beneath this Tree as well in the hopes of joining us. Other Vanguard may do so as well. It’s possible that they have been making do with sleeping in the Grove when they were meant to be hearing these ancient memories instead.
I can imagine how the Court will react to this...a midnight fae and an elf-dusk-fae will likely not make a good impression on a court that clings to recent traditions within the last few hundred years. They will probably feel threatened by the presence of the Tree and a proposal of a new way of life. Many already fear that the Vanguard means that their race is either dying or changing beyond recognition. It will be a conversation that Andstella and I will need to have with them, together.
But for now all we can do is think about this Tree and what it means. It’s several days from the edge of the Grove and only a few hours from the surrounding eldritch trees. She gets lost when she tries to fly away from the Grove but the thicket stands between the Tree and the rest of hte Grove. It must not be just a mutated seed but its own thing. And the songs it holds are truly truly ancient and not connected to the other Grove memories. Andstella has thought that perhaps it holds the songs of all the Groves that have died or been destroyed.
The magic preventing her from leaving the area sounds somewhat familiar and I’m interested in seeing it. We won’t be in a position to materially change anything in the Grove or beyond until we can find our way through the thicket so for now, we have time. We fly together towards the far edge of the eldritch trees and I feel clumsy in the air, following Andstella, especially when she tags me and darts away, calling for me to play with her. I manage not to crash into anything else, despite her mischievous best efforts. After a little while I pause and collect myself and am struck with a sharp focus as I watch Andstella capering through the air. I feel my senses sharpen a little and the wind flow smoothly around my wings as I angle them and bolt after her, tagging her easily. And then as she whirls and turns on me, the scattered and unpredictable way I can weave through the air startles me. I feel like both a stalking cat and a startled bird.
Breathless from playing, we arrive at the edge of the barrier. Andstella slips her hand into mine - the magic of this barrier might separate us and we would both prefer to remain together. I can see what she means by becoming lost in it - the magic here doesn’t shift the land like in Magdalena’s swamp or the people like the barrier in the mountains. It seems to duplicate the visions in front of us, copying over the same tree over and over until we’re turned around and directionless.
Retreating, I cast out my magic to see how it works and I am rewarded, finally. The three barriers I’ve seen here all have a uniquely defined boundary and permeability.
In the mountains, it’s like a wall. People shouldn’t be able to cross in either direction. In the swamp it’s tied to Magdalena herself, semi-permeable but always growing and shrinking. And here, it keeps people from leaving. I can tell that someone would be able to walk through it in the other direction. This one is horseshoe-shaped and open where the thicket borders the Grove. It’s curious...something I could replicate with enough time and work, but not just yet.
In the darkness as we fly back to the Tree, I see the luminescence in her wings better - soft speckles of bright light like stars. I can see how the dim navy-indigo towards the bottom of her wings mirrors the top of mine, which fade through dusty lavender-rose and the rich amber-orange of sunset, glowing dimly like embers. I wonder if we would form the entire sun’s journey if a dawn and daylight fae were with us.
She tells me more about Alder’s magic, which she says is familiar to her. She’s been suggesting things to him from her memories. Even if she can’t tell him how it’s done, she knows things are possible. I’m glad he’s found someone else who can help him...I haven’t felt terribly helpful in his learning lately.
And I tell her about home - about the Frontier and the Academy (in which she’s very interested) and Carthians!
Day 262
I don’t sleep much but when I wake, it’s from strange dreams and confusing memories. I was writing something - a song. It was important...something for a festival. Vitally important, because there was a girl I needed to impress...I don’t know if I did manage to impress her. I don’t know if she’s a recurring figure in my story or someone who was important for only a season. It’s confusing, waking with the urgency of courtship and having to place myself in my current surroundings.
Alder is with me shortly after I wake and I eagerly press him for information now that Andstella and I have had a chance to speak.
First of all, Kadia is in jail. When I went unconscious Camellia tried to explain our mission to the Court and gain their cooperation in getting to the Tree. In the process Kadia’s presence was recognized and the Court is now arguing about having her stand trial. Camellia is advocating for her and Hella; it is Hella’s existence that is stalling the Court with some arguing that she is complicit and some that she is a young human entangled in something else. They intend to use the pre-waking gathering as a time to discuss the matter and so Lesili has been trying to reach others in the Dreaming for assistance. But for now...not something we can address until we’re back in the Grove. I have thoughts on arguments to present and how to wind our way out of this situation. Always politics…I thought I’d need Bran’s strength or skill with Fatespinning before I’d need his skillful charisma but here we are. Andstella and I will speak to the Council and she has assured us that no matter what, Kadia’s safety and freedom will be our priority. Some of the Vanguard is gathering on the other side of the thicket to protect us and help as we finally emerge.
He shows me one of the things that Andstella has helped him figure out - Shadowgates. He can cast them so that they work at a distance of fifty metres but not more. With more work and some structure (finally, something I can really help with) he hopes to be able to connect to the existing gates or create his own. I’m ecstatic at this discovery, and not only because it might solve some of our troubles with distance.
And underneath all of this, he is worried about me and how I’m handling the situation. I reassure him as best I can. We can’t hope to deal with anything outside of this horseshoe barrier right now, so it must wait. For now we focus on the Tree and on leaving. After that...after that things can get complicated. Now is a time to process wings and dusk-fae things, new memories and new magic. The rest must wait.
So for now, we settle down together and just talk. About the absurdity of being tied to a ten-year lifecycle, about the complication of potentially waking tied to sunlight (and glowing, maybe?) and about the years of memories in my mind now. For the second time, I share my life story with Alder.
