An Inn of No Remark

General Summary

The Kavan Inkwell


  Published in Loyen — November, 2nd of the Harvest
 

Wealth Won at the Spilt Tankard!


  The usually rowdy common room of Grizzik Nailtongue’s Spilt Tankard erupted into celebration last night when a few daring souls took part in a magical game of chance. Among them was the notorious bard Dorian, the Serpent’s Lyre, whose silver tongue and silver luck drew quite the crowd. Witnesses describe
“cards that shimmered like starlight and changed their faces between draws.”

  To the astonishment of onlookers, Dorian and his companion Diggarius Stoutbrew turned a humble wager into a small fortune. The winnings were shared with Grizzik himself, who was last seen shouting, “Drinks on the house! The Serpent blesses us all!” Patrons poured into the streets, singing bawdy songs until dawn.
Grizzik, ever a vocal supporter of Dorian’s exploits, has declared a “Festival of the Fortunate” to be held this week—though no one seems quite sure how long the ale will last.
 

Rodent Problem Subsides

Farmers across the Loyen Lowlands report a strange calm this month: no stolen grain, no gnawed feed sacks, and no signs of the usual vermin raids. For the first time in years, stocks remain untouched. Experts from the Agrarian Guild are perplexed.
“Either the rats have found better food,” said one miller, “or something far worse has scared them off.”

 

Mysterious Ship in Ratport

A sleek, obsidian-hulled vessel was seen docking under cover of fog in Kavan’s Ratport earlier this week. Witnesses describe the ship as
“too fine for smugglers, too silent for merchants.”
No crew were seen disembarking. The harbormaster’s office refuses comment, though rumors whisper of foreign banners folded away beneath tarps.
 

Order Seeks Silvertongues


  The Order of the White Flame has issued a formal bounty for information regarding two
“silver-tongued charlatans”
said to have absconded with a relic left in their care. A sealed notice pinned to the chapel doors in Kavan reads:
“Let repentance find them before we do. 500 gold crowns for credible word.”
  Locals speculate the description matches the two celebrated gamblers from the Spilt Tankard, though Grizzik dismissed such talk with a snort:
“My lads steal hearts, not holy trinkets.”

 

Bonecarver Injured


  Local artisan Vyomese Bonecarver suffered an accident while shaping a statue of the Arbiter. The piece, oddly, appears to have healed itself overnight.
 

Gophers Attack Keep


  A baron’s estate north of the Weeping Fields was briefly overrun by giant gophers. The beasts tunneled through his orchard, collapsing an entire wine cellar. None injured, though much ale was lost.
 

Black Hound Sightings


  Travelers report seeing a spectral dog roaming the Old Trade Road at dusk. Superstition says to toss it a coin—or risk your voice vanishing by sunrise.
 
Grizzik’s Spilt Tankard Special!
“Where your coin flows freer than the ale!”
Try our new Firebrandy Cider—brewed with actual sparks! Half off for musicians and those recently cursed. Address: The Spilt Tankard, Market Row, Loyen. (Tell ‘em Dorian sent you.)
 
Join the Order of the White Flame
Glory! Redemption! Dental! The Order seeks brave souls to uphold the sacred light. Must provide own armor polish. Confess your sins or someone else’s at the Chapel of the Arbiter, Kavan.
 
Ballads by Dorian, “The Serpent’s Lyre”
Famed across three duchies! Songs for coin, hearts, or favors. Also now booking private serenades (contact his squire, if sober).
“He’ll charm your ears… and maybe your wife.” —Local Review

 
RAT-BE-GONE!
Proudly serving the Lowlands since last month! No poisons, no traps—just guaranteed disappearance! Results so good even the rats won’t talk about it. Endorsed by the Farmers’ Guild (and suspiciously no one else).
 
Brewing Dynasty in Turmoil!
The ubiquitous Stoutbrew house heads have disappeared resulting in calamity in their brewing operation. Without their sage wisdom to guide their dwarven cohort through their artisanal brewing it is uncertain if they can continue. Any information that leads to their recovery and continuance of the Stoutbrew Brewery will be paid handsomely according to the acting proprietors.
 
Need Passage?
The sleek new ship at Ratport takes passengers somewhere. No questions asked, no refunds offered. Midnight departures only. Speak the name “Seraphine’s Wake” to the harbormaster—if he’s still there.
 
CARD SHARPS & SOOTHSAYERS
Enchanted decks! Predict your future or change your luck. Imported from the mysterious East by Glim Varn’s Traveling Emporium. Beware imitations! (We are not responsible for curses, hauntings, or spontaneous duels.)
 
Farmhands Wanted
Rodents gone, labor short. Must lift hay, chase ghosts, and tolerate screaming turnips. Apply to old Gremm’s farm, south of the Weeping Fields.
 
Divine Cleansing Services
Possessed? Hexed? Recently widowed under suspicious circumstances? Father Yorin’s Blessings & Brew offers spiritual and spiritualist solutions. Now in three strengths: Mild, Penitent, and Holy Inferno.
Campaign
Yearning of the Deep
Protagonists